News of the Weird

[Gregoshi]

Air New Zealand has nothing to hide

We flew Air New Zealand from LA to Melbourne. Alas, the flight crew wore conventional clothing. We are flying them again on the way home. Will have to pay close attention to the uniforms.

[Pannonian]

Respect Da Nigaz

A marketing blunder in Nigeria has got online communities all of a twitter, after a joint oil and gas venture with Russia was named Nigaz.

Russia's Gazprom and Nigeria's state-operated NNPC formed the company - pronounced "nye-gaz" - last week.

[Vladimir]

Not quite New Zealand.

http://translate.google.com/translat...ion-92063.html

[Conqueror]

Japanese fear invasion of giant jellyfish

We all know that there's only one thing that can happen next: The Great King Jellyfish the size of a skyscraper will inevitably rise from the waves in wake of his army and spread terror across Japan, until being confronted by Godzilla, at which point the two monsters must fight an epic battle over Tokyo, leaving the city in ruins.

[Beskar]

The Japanese should put the Jelly fish on their menu, it would put a stop to them.
(I don't know how edible they are, so correct me)

[Lemur]

Microsoft's new promotional tool: Vomit. No, really.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Vomit and superman, mind.

CR

[Viking]

Ok, this is just crazy. Presented at BBC's homepage as one of the top three strories of today, is an article concerning a gamer that got banned from Eve Online because of a ToS violation:

Billions stolen in online robbery

Space trading game Eve Online has suffered a virtual version of the credit crunch.

[...]

One of the bank's controllers stole about 200bn kredits and swapped them for real world cash of £3,115.

[...]

It has now emerged that Ricdic used the cash to put down a deposit on a house and to pay medical bills.

"I'm not proud of it at all, that's why I didn't brag about it," Ricdic told Reuters. "But you know, if I had to do it again, I probably would've chosen the same path based on the same situation."

Ricdic has now been thrown out of the game as trading in-game cash for real money is against Eve Online's terms and conditions.

[KukriKhan]

Also from the Beeb: Global Warming = Shrinking Sheep.

Makes sense, right? If I leave my wool sweater in the clothes dryer too long...

[Hosakawa Tito]

The Sea Org Whooo boy, this is one org that I'll pass on.

"The Sea Org is not a democracy. The members of it agree with a man named L. Ron Hubbard. They abide by his policies . . . and we follow it to the T, to the letter, to the punctuation marks. And if you disagree with that and you don't like it, you don't belong. Then you leave."

The scurvy dog leaves by walking the plank.

We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust you will rise a better thetan.

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

Ya think?

[Lemur]

Squirrel pops out of woman's cleavage while police interview her about a murder

At one point in the interview, the woman, wearing a skimpy tank top, leaned over and out of her bosom crept a baby squirrel that was nestled in the woman's cleavage. The woman, seemingly unphased, gently put the small creature back inside her shirt and continued talking to the detective.

The shocked detective said that he was at a loss for words. "The squirrel seemed quite happy," Mackey said.

It is not clear if the squirrel is the woman's pet or even why she decided to bring with her for the interview.

[Fragony]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/...c2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever

[Pannonian]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/...c2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever

Haven't they already made a film of Asteroids?

[miotas]

Man impersonates his dead mum to collect her pension cheques

[miotas]

Got a few more.
Jewel theives caught because getaway driver wouldn't speed
Romanian motorist pites slow pedestrian

And here's one for the kiddies
Naval captain bans the devils vegetable.

[Fragony]

Women

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/a...-Facebook.html

[Gregoshi]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/...c2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever

I suppose the movie-goer has to put a quarter in the slot every 2 minutes to keep the movie playing...

[InsaneApache]

I suppose the movie-goer has to put a quarter in the slot every 2 minutes to keep the movie playing...

I got that good at it in the 70s that I could play it all night for 10p.* In the pub as well! Those old games started me off and now look where I am 30 years later.

*Then as now, I'm a modest sort of chap.

[Hosakawa Tito]

It's good to be a British criminal.

Crime is my profession.

You are presumed innocent till the mugshot is released.

[Conqueror]

Latvian Banker Taking Souls as Collateral

Ready to give your soul for a loan in these difficult economic times? In Latvia, where the crisis has raged more than in the rest of the European Union, you can.

[miotas]

Man drowns in chocolate

Ladies! Grow your own sperm!

[Lemur]

Evicted by audible orgasms

The Thompsons say they have been woken repeatedly in the night since the amorous middle-aged couple moved next door to their home five weeks ago. [...] The family approached their married neighbours who agreed to move their bed and place a wardrobe next to the thin adjoining wall, but the Thompsons say the late night commotions have continued.

West Oxfordshire District Council refused to get involved, saying that the noise related to "fundamental domestic activity", and the family is now considering moving out.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Hah, reminds me of when my first wife and I started out in a dinky upper apartment on Long Island. The place was so small we had to squeeze my daughter's crib in our bedroom. The downstairs neighbor, a nice woman quite a bit older than us, became quite chatty with my wife and would help her hauling laundry/groceries/packages/baby up those stinking stairs. After a time she offered to babysit in our apartment one day when Marcy had to go out and I was working overtime. When Marcy got home our neighbored laughed and mentioned that she thought all that noise she heard coming from our apartment was us "getting busy", a lot. Most of the time it was our daughter jumping up & down in her crib.

[Fragony]

Electrifying news from Serbia, the country is shocked after heart-patient Nada Acimovich was miraculously cured after being zapped by Zeus.

[KukriKhan]

Electrifying news from Serbia, the country is shocked after heart-patient Nada Acimovich was miraculously cured after being zapped by Zeus.

We lazy readers like LINKS.

[Fragony]

We lazy readers like LINKS.

Who needs a link when I say a heartpatient was cured by lightning. I mean common happens every day.

[Crazed Rabbit]

It's old news, and it ain't that weird, but dang if it doesn't have once of the best hook lines I've ever read;

GLIDE, Ore. -- Aaron Wyckoff didn't start to panic until his .45-caliber pistol quit firing, and the bear kept chewing on his arm.

CR

[Louis VI the Fat]

Aaron Wyckoff didn't start to panic until his .45-caliber pistol quit firing, and the bear kept chewing on his arm.

So, he recalls, he tried to pull the bear's jaws apart. Then he tried to roll down the ridge where he and the bear were wrestling. But the bear grabbed his calf, pulled him back and went for his groin.
Wyckoff said he countered by shoving his pistol and his hand into the bear's mouth. But by then, the struggle in the Cascade Range in Southern Oregon attracted the attention of Wyckoff's party, and other hunters rushed over.

Justin Norton fired a round from his .44-caliber pistol into the black bear's stomach, to no avail. He approached the bear, put the gun behind its ear and fired again. It finally rolled away. "I walked right up to his head, and he didn't even look at me," said Norton, 26. With the dying bear still struggling, a final round finished him off.

"He was dead. He just didn't know it," Wyckoff said. "It was just all adrenaline."

Wow, I've read entire books that didn't contain as many gems as this article. Genius.


And give us a link, Frag, love. A two-line recapatitulation of an article you just read may make sense to you, but to us..sometimes not so much. It's like giving away the punchline without the rest of the joke. It doesn't do a good story justice.

Compare 'Man in Oregon attacked by bear. His friends shoot bear', with the carefully crafted work of literature quoted above.

[Fragony]

A major scientific breakthrough, and who said science is the realm of the east/west. Ladies and gentlemen, good news.

http://www.weaselzippers.net/blog/20...med-said-.html

//waits for Gregoshi

[Banquo's Ghost]

I guess they rubbed him up the wrong way.