News of the Weird

[Lemur]

You never know when gay porn will take over your TV



It started as a routine visit to the dentist.

Joey Stewart, 32, was in his downtown dentist office Friday morning getting a temporary crown. While waiting for it to harden, his dentist flipped on the TV to CHCH. Suddenly, Stewart and his dentist found themselves watching explicit gay pornography.

“It's surreal. I knew right away that something was up,” Stewart said. “Not every day in the dentist's office do you sit up and see — you know — that.”

CHCH viewers were shocked when the station's normal morning news programming was interrupted by about a minute of adult programming.

The mishap quickly went viral, inspiring global news stories and several Twitter hashtags — including #porngate and #CHPorningLive.

CHCH news director Mike Katrycz said the problem arose after a botched repair at the station's cable company.

Sometime on Thursday night, a cable was cut. When it was being fixed Friday morning, the adult programming was accidentally spliced to CHCH's feed.

“It didn't originate with us,” said Katrycz. “We are apologizing to our viewers. We hope they understand it was beyond our control.”

Katrycz said he believes the station ultimately aired about a minute of “hard-core pornography.”

“It seemed like an eternity,” he said.

[Gregoshi]

You never know when gay porn will take over your TV

It started as a routine visit to the dentist...

\
Bet they found a cavity. And drilling ensued.

[Lemur]

Hotel replaces all bibles with 50 Shades of Grey



If you ever book a reservation at the Damson Dene Hotel in England, don’t expect to have a copy of the Bible waiting for you. Instead, the hotel’s owner has replaced the religious text with none other than the disturbingly popular book Fifty Shades of Grey. Because really, what could be a better alternative to the Bible than a book featuring bondage and sadomasochism?

Jonathan Denby, the hotel owner, said that he thought it would be “wholly inappropriate” to have the Bible in his hotel “in a modern secular society.” Initially, he considered replacing it with Ayn Rand‘s Atlas Shrugged, but decided to feature the steamy novel instead. Why?

“[B]ecause everybody is reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ we thought it would be a hospitable thing to do, to have this available for our guests, especially if some of them were a little bit shy about buying it because of its reputation.”

The choice to offer “Fifty Shades of Grey” was done purely for fun and just because the novel is so popular, not for any deep philosophical reason, Denby added, noting that he himself has not read the book.

Obviously, the local vicar is unhappy with the move, denouncing the decision to replace the bible with “an explicit erotic novel.” The hotel owner has noted that people from the United States have had a much stronger response to the decision, and pointed out that if guests would still like a copy of the Bible, one will be provided for them at the front desk,

[InsaneApache]

That's a picture of the ASDA near where I live. Awesome. I'm nearly famous.

[Major Robert Dump]

BTW the Goat Man from earlier in the thread turned out to be a hunter

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-w...-odd-goat-man/

[Lemur]

Iran's chicken crisis a simmering political issue, politicians and police grilled by squawking constituents

Earlier this month, Iran's national police chief ventured boldly into what has become known as the country's "chicken crisis". The feathers haven't stopped flying since.

The soaring price for a staple food that Iranians relish cooked with saffron, plums or pomegranates has become such a hot topic of public debate, and a sign of the sinking purchasing power of many Iranians, that Police Chief Esmail Ahmadi Moghaddam felt it his duty to intervene.

He urged television stations to avoid broadcasting images of people eating chicken, saying such pictures could fire up social tensions, with perhaps unforeseen consequences.

"Certain people witnessing this class gap between the rich and the poor might grab a knife and think they will get their share from the wealthy," Mehr news agency quoted him as saying. [...]

Iran's social networks are buzzing. "There are two classes of people: below the chicken line and above the chicken line," quipped one Twitter posting from a Shiraz resident.

Another tweet joked that instead of asking for traditional gold coins, soon-to-be-married Iranian women would request dowries of 200 tonnes of chicken.

Officials, worried about popular resentment, have done their best to assure irate Iranians that chicken will be in plentiful supply and at fair prices.

[InsaneApache]

"There are two classes of people: below the chicken line and above the chicken line,"

[Gregoshi]

Agreed. That Tweet was more like a Dumb Cluck.

[Ronin]

That really got his goat

Coty Creighton was hiking Ben Lomond peak early Sunday morning, when he came across a herd of goats and noticed one was trailing behind. Coty pulled out his binoculars to get an even closer look, and realized it was a man, acting like a goat.

"His goat costume was definitely home made, it wasn't done very well he had a full mask covering his face up and fake horns coming off the top of his head, he even had to lift the mask at times to make his way and see over rocks and bushes," Creighton said.

Creighton tried to rationalize it, thinking the guy may have been a photographer, but he had no gear.

"Once I realized he had no camera gear or anything else, it went from being really funny to really creepy," he said.

Creighton said the man was literally acting like a goat. At one point, the man took off his mask and spotted Coty watching him.

"So he just kind of froze in his tracks, he was on his hands and knees just kind of staring at me,” Creighton said.

At that point, Coty said the man sat down and began to sulk. Creeped out, Creighton left.

EL CHUPA CABRA!

[Lemur]

If you can't trust a wizard, who can you trust?

In the long list of criminal dos and don'ts, one of the top pieces of advice [...] has to be 'never rob a bank thinking that you're invisible when you're not actually invisible.'

Sadly for one man in Iran, he made just that mistake — and as a result, police in Tehran are hunting a fake sorcerer who convinced the man he was invisible and so could rob banks safely.

The man's ill-fated heist attempt started to go wrong shortly after he entered the bank, as he started snatching money from the hands of customers. For some reason, rather than being terrified of the mysterious invisible poltergeist stealing their cash, the customers quickly overpowered the hapless thief.

'I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me,' the man told the court, state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam reports.

He explained that he had paid 5 million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave hims spells to tie to his arm. The sorcerer told him that they would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks to his heart's content.

[Lemur]

Shortage of male thongs causes panic in Ireland



A cheeky bid to break a body-painting world record led to panic buying in Cork yesterday after the city’s clothes stores sold out of men’s thongs.

More than 600 daring participants will strip down this morning at Cork’s Camden Palace Hotel and have their bodies painted in a bid to break a five-year record, set in the US.

Adjudicators from Guinness have issued strict instructions that those taking part remove all clothes except their underwear, before paint is applied to every part of their bodies.

But organisers faced a mini-crisis yesterday after a last-minute surge of applicants led to a rush on the city’s dwindling supply of thongs.

Just after midday yesterday, only Utopia, an adult shop in the city centre, had supplies left. A shop assistant said: "My phone’s been constantly ringing and I only have two or three pairs of thongs left at this stage. I would order more in, but there wouldn’t be time." [...]

If the record attempt isn’t enough to set pulses racing, the annual Cork World Naked Bike Ride takes place later in the afternoon.

[johnhughthom]

If you can't trust a wizard, who can you trust?

In the long list of criminal dos and don'ts, one of the top pieces of advice [...] has to be 'never rob a bank thinking that you're invisible when you're not actually invisible.'

Sadly for one man in Iran, he made just that mistake — and as a result, police in Tehran are hunting a fake sorcerer who convinced the man he was invisible and so could rob banks safely.

The man's ill-fated heist attempt started to go wrong shortly after he entered the bank, as he started snatching money from the hands of customers. For some reason, rather than being terrified of the mysterious invisible poltergeist stealing their cash, the customers quickly overpowered the hapless thief.

'I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me,' the man told the court, state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam reports.

He explained that he had paid 5 million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave hims spells to tie to his arm. The sorcerer told him that they would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks to his heart's content.

And they say Iran is trying to erase it's non-Islamic history, the Magi are clearly alive and well.

[naut]

Man puts cracker up his crack.

A MAN who suffered serious burns when friends lit a firecracker in his bum says he was just showing his visiting mates a Territory good time.

Alex Bowden, 23, of Wagaman, Darwin, put a spinning "flying bee" winged firework in his butt crack during a party at a rented house on Rossiter St, Rapid Creek on Saturday night.

"I had a few lads up from Queensland and I had to put on a good show," he told the NT News from his hospital bed.

"I just had a few beers with the boys and let off a few firecrackers. And I put one in my arse."

Mr Bowen said his mother "thought it was funny".

[Papewaio]

Darwin, NT the city is full of irony. Where in any other city you would get a Darwin award or a second place vasectomy, in Darwin, NT you get mating priviledges.

[Lemur]

Mitt Romney, homewrecker and lover of ladies



A photo of Mitt Romney on Facebook is at the center of a recent domestic abuse case in Tennessee.

Lowell Turpin, 40, accused his live-in girlfriend of having an affair with a man he did not recognize in a photo on her Facebook page. A police report posted on The Smoking Gun indicates it was a picture of the Republican presidential candidate.

It reads: "Mr. Turpin saw a picture of an unknown (to him) male on Ms. Gray's Facebook page, and angrily demanded to know who the male was. Crystal Gray relied that it was a picture of Mitt Romney. Ms. Gray described that Lowell Turpin became upset..."

According to Anderson County Sheriff Department investigators, Turpin, who reportedly weighs 310 lbs., injured his girlfriend's hand, punched Gray in the face and smashed the laptop involved against a wall.

[Strike For The South]

Oh god. Please be true

[Lemur]

Oh god. Please be true

Um, it is true, the boyfriend saw a guy he didn't recognize on the girlfriend's page. She had posted a picture of Romney. He then beat the tar out of her for her imagined infidelity. The story is not that Romney is sowing his wild oats, rather than the boyfriend is an astonishing idiot.

[Lemur]

Bolivia expels Coca-Cola because Mayan apocalypse



Bolivia’s foreign minister, David Choquehuanca — he’s all about the Mayan Apocalypse. In his view it won’t be so much an apocalypse-apocalypse, just an apocalypse of U.S. capitalists meddling in their business. And so he’s announced that in the New Times, Bolivians will no longer be allowed to drink Coca-Cola. They will drink this peach thing or another “fizzy” drink instead.

In what is being called a “symbolic rejection of US capitalism,” Bolivia has announced that it will be marking the end of the Mayan calendar with the expulsion of the Coca-Cola Company from the country.

“December 21 of 2012 will be the end of egoism and division. December 21 should be the end of Coca-Cola,” Bolivian foreign minister David Choquehuanca said earlier this month, according to Russian news agency, RT.

This is a significant move for Bolivia — who will join Myanmar, North Korea and Cuba as the only countries in the world that are coke-free, Yahoo! News notes.

Unlike the doomsayers who have predicted the apocalypse to occur on Dec. 21, Choquehuanca said he is optimistic that the end of the Mayan calendar will usher in a new and more progressive era — one that will see “the end of hatred and the beginning of love.”

“The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he said, adding that the people of Bolivia should opt to drink Mocochinchi — a local peach-flavored drink — as an alternative to Coke products, Russian newspaper Pravda reports.

[Fragony]

Lolololol http://electronicintifada.net/blogs/...amophobic-hoax

Clip here http://www.geenstijl.nl/mt/archieven....html#comments

effing hilarious

[Lemur]

There's a wonderful story floating around this morning about a Ren Faire robbery in France, but I can't nail down any actual reporting, just blogs linking to each other with no links to sources. Might be a hoax/fabrication. Sigh. Such is life when you curate for NotW.

Meanwhile, for anyone who didn't know, Fragony does not like Muslims.

[Lemur]

Missile Defense Staff Warned To Stop Surfing Porn Sites



The Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency warned its employees and contractors last week to stop using their government computers to surf the Internet for pornographic sites, according to the agency’s executive director.

In a one-page memo, Executive Director John James Jr. wrote that in recent months government employees and contractors were detected “engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network.”

“Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images,” James wrote in the July 27 memo obtained by Bloomberg News.

[Fragony]

There's a wonderful story floating around this morning about a Ren Faire robbery in France, but I can't nail down any actual reporting, just blogs linking to each other with no links to sources. Might be a hoax/fabrication. Sigh. Such is life when you curate for NotW.

Meanwhile, for anyone who didn't know, Fragony does not like Muslims.

Wouldn't say that, I just don't absolutely adore them

[Vladimir]

Bolivia expels Coca-Cola because Mayan apocalypse



Bolivia’s foreign minister, David Choquehuanca — he’s all about the Mayan Apocalypse. In his view it won’t be so much an apocalypse-apocalypse, just an apocalypse of U.S. capitalists meddling in their business. And so he’s announced that in the New Times, Bolivians will no longer be allowed to drink Coca-Cola. They will drink this peach thing or another “fizzy” drink instead.

In what is being called a “symbolic rejection of US capitalism,” Bolivia has announced that it will be marking the end of the Mayan calendar with the expulsion of the Coca-Cola Company from the country.

“December 21 of 2012 will be the end of egoism and division. December 21 should be the end of Coca-Cola,” Bolivian foreign minister David Choquehuanca said earlier this month, according to Russian news agency, RT.

This is a significant move for Bolivia — who will join Myanmar, North Korea and Cuba as the only countries in the world that are coke-free, Yahoo! News notes.

Unlike the doomsayers who have predicted the apocalypse to occur on Dec. 21, Choquehuanca said he is optimistic that the end of the Mayan calendar will usher in a new and more progressive era — one that will see “the end of hatred and the beginning of love.”

“The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he said, adding that the people of Bolivia should opt to drink Mocochinchi — a local peach-flavored drink — as an alternative to Coke products, Russian newspaper Pravda reports.

I still don't know who the true idiots are; The politicians or the people who support them:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010...-thing-bolivia

[Lemur]

That's some serious driftwood



[A] massive piece of driftwood washed ashore recently in La Push, a small community on the northwest coast of Washington's most westerly peninsula.

"It's not uncommon to find one as tall as I am, but that's pretty big," said Barb Manse of Olympic National Park, which surrounds La Push.

This "piece" of driftwood is actually called a drift log. It wasn't measured, but finding trees in the forest between 5 and 10 feet (1.5 and 3 meters) in diameter and a couple hundred feet tall isn't uncommon, Manse said.

Powerful winds accompanied by high tides are required to bring these monsters ashore.

[edyzmedieval]

\
Bet they found a cavity. And drilling ensued.

Stoooooop, please!

[Papewaio]

Well if it was hetro porn it would have been a root canal.

[Lemur]

German priest promises 'erotic service,' goes limp

Ralf Schmidt of the Erlöserkirche ("Church of the Saviour") in Wiesbaden, western Germany, had promised a service celebrating the divine element of physical love, news magazine Der Spiegel reported on Sunday.

"There is no life without eroticism, and no life without God," he said during his sermon, the Frankfurter Rundschau newspaper reported. "Taste each other, look at each other, feel each other, feel how friendly life can be. My backside, my hands, my tongue, my penis, my earlobes are the landing spots of love. In this way we want to enjoy what God has given us, even though we don't have paradise anymore. Because love comes from God, not the devil."

Later, he led his 200-strong congregation in a swaying dance as they held hands to foster a sense of intimacy, while the organ played Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender."

He opened the service with the words, "Welcome to the vineyard of love," before waxing lyrical on the under-addressed subject of Christian sex. "There is a lustful sense of expectation in the room," he said. [...]

Even its senior members weren't shocked. The 70-year-old Helga Gropp told Der Spiegel that she'd liked the service a lot. Her only objection? That the newly-confirmed youngsters had not been allowed in.

[Vladimir]

German priest promises 'erotic service,' goes limp

Ralf Schmidt of the Erlöserkirche ("Church of the Saviour") in Wiesbaden, western Germany, had promised a service celebrating the divine element of physical love, news magazine Der Spiegel reported on Sunday.

"There is no life without eroticism, and no life without God," he said during his sermon, the Frankfurter Rundschau newspaper reported. "Taste each other, look at each other, feel each other, feel how friendly life can be. My backside, my hands, my tongue, my penis, my earlobes are the landing spots of love. In this way we want to enjoy what God has given us, even though we don't have paradise anymore. Because love comes from God, not the devil."

Later, he led his 200-strong congregation in a swaying dance as they held hands to foster a sense of intimacy, while the organ played Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender."

He opened the service with the words, "Welcome to the vineyard of love," before waxing lyrical on the under-addressed subject of Christian sex. "There is a lustful sense of expectation in the room," he said. [...]

Even its senior members weren't shocked. The 70-year-old Helga Gropp told Der Spiegel that she'd liked the service a lot. Her only objection? That the newly-confirmed youngsters had not been allowed in.

I accidentally misread the bolded part.

[Vladimir]

I love Fox News: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/0...ntcmp=features

Conjoined twins to star in new reality TV show



Uploaded with ImageShack.us

That...would be fun.

[Lemur]

Imagine Jonestown or Waco—but underground!

(from the "Isn't this the premise of several creepy horror movies?" file)

MOSCOW — A self-proclaimed prophet had a vision from God: He would build an Islamic caliphate under the earth.

The digging began and 70 followers soon moved into an 8-story honeycomb of cramped cells with no light, heating or ventilation.

Children were born. They, too, lived in the cold underground cells. Until authorities raided the compound last week and freed the 27 sons and daughters of the sect who rarely saw the light of day.

Aged between 1 and 17, the children had never left the property, attended school or been seen by a doctor, officials said Wednesday. Their parents were charged with child abuse.

The sect's 83-year-old founder, Faizrakhman Satarov, who declared himself a prophet in contradiction with the principles of Islam, has also been charged with negligence, said Irina Petrova, deputy prosecutor in the provincial capital of Kazan. [...]

Satarov, a former top imam in the neighboring province of Bashkortostan, ordered some 70 followers to live in cells they dug under the three-story building topped by a small minaret with a tin crescent moon. Only a few sect members were allowed to leave the premises to work as traders at a local market, Russian media reported.

The children were examined in local hospitals and will temporarily live in an orphanage, pediatrician Tatyana Moroz said. "They looked nourished, but dirty, so we had to wash them," she said in televised remarks.

Their parents voiced concern about the children's medical treatment.

Doctors "can do anything to them," Fana Sayanova, a woman with a veiled face and clad in a long white dress, told local television.

The cramped cells, without ventilation, heating or a regular electricity supply, form eight levels under the decrepit three-story brick house on a 700-square-meter (7,530 sq. foot) plot of land. The house was built illegally and will be demolished, Tatarstan police told local media.

"They will come with bulldozers and guns, but they will have to demolish this house over our dead bodies!" sect member Gumer Ganiyev said on the Vesti television channel. The ailing Satarov appointed Ganiyev as his deputy "prophet," according to local media.

[Lemur's note: What is it with crazy religious Russians and going underground?]