News of the Weird

[Fragony]

http://courtnewsuk.co.uk/surreal/?id=59

He should change his name to Le Petomane.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?gl=NL&h...%3DbOtMizMQ6oM

[Kralizec]

Vodka 'saved' elephants in Siberian freeze

Two elephants have been saved from the deadly Siberian cold by drinking vodka, Russian officials say.
They say the animals had to be taken out into the bitter cold after the wooden trailer they were travelling in caught fire in the Novosibirsk region.
The elephants, aged 45 and 48, suffered frostbite to the tips of their ears amid temperatures of -40C (-40F)
But they were warmed up by two cases of vodka mixed with warm water, one official was quoted as saying.
"They started roaring like if they were in the jungle! Perhaps, they were happy," the official told Russia's Ria Novosti news agency.
The animals continued their recovery in a heated garage of a local college where they were brought by a truck under police escort.
The elephants belong to a Polish circus, which has been touring the region, reports say.
Like with humans, alcohol can make animals feel warmer but it actually lowers their core body temperature, scientists say.
But Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper quoted Novosibirsk zoo director Rostislav Shilo as saying that the elephants were not harmed or intoxicated by the vodka, and that without it they would have died of hypothermia or pneumonia.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20726939

[Gregoshi]

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

[Fragony]

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

Everywhere

[Papewaio]

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

They see grey leathery humans like Newt Gingrich...

[Lemur]

Mayan end-of-world rumors prompt Michigan officials to close 33 schools



More than 30 Michigan schools closed for the holidays two days early, in part because the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Friday, an official said.

Matt Wandrie, superintendent for Lapeer Community Schools, said doomsday "rumors" are running rampant in several districts [...] ["R]umors connected to the Mayan calendar predicted end of the world on Friday have also surfaced," he added.

[Okay, there's also some very un-funny stuff about the recent school shootings, which I am deliberately omitting, because that's some Debbie Downer material.—Lemur]

[Lemur]

I'm not sure I see anything wrong with this:

U.S. Olympian's Secret Life As Las Vegas Escort



A three-time U.S. Olympian whose illustrious running career has included a Nike TV commercial, a swimsuit calendar, and ongoing promotional work for Disney has spent the last year doubling as a $600-an-hour call girl, an astounding secret life that she now regretfully calls a “huge mistake.”

Beginning last December, Suzy Favor Hamilton, 44, has worked with one of Las Vegas’s premier escort services, booking scores of “dates” in Sin City and other U.S. cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston.

While Favor Hamilton (seen at right) has used an alias, “Kelly Lundy,” when working as an escort, she inexplicably shared her true identity with several male clients, believing that her secret was somehow safe with strangers who paid for her company by leaving envelopes stuffed with cash on bathroom vanities in swanky hotels.

When approached by a reporter earlier this month in the lobby of a Las Vegas hotel, Favor Hamilton initially denied any connection with the escort service, Haley Heston’s Private Collection. But Favor Hamilton--who is married to her college sweetheart, a lawyer, and is the mother of a seven-year-old girl--eventually acknowledged her work as “Kelly.”

“I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I’m not the victim and I’m not going that route,” Favor Hamilton said. “I’m owning up to what I did. I would not blame anybody except myself.” She added, “Everybody in this world makes mistakes. I made a huge mistake. Huge.”

Favor Hamilton expressed concern that her story would be “sensationalized” by a reporter. It is hard, though, to imagine how that could occur. The actual events of the ex-Olympian's past year already seem like the fever dreams of a Lifetime producer who decided to adapt Luis Bunuel’s “Belle de Jour” for basic cable.

Favor Hamilton described the escort business as “exciting,” an illicit midlife diversion from her routine existence, one in which she operates a successful Madison, Wisconsin real estate brokerage with her husband, delivers motivational speeches, and does promotional work for various businesses and groups, including Disney’s running series and Wisconsin’s Potato & Vegetable Growers Association.

[Major Robert Dump]

There is nothing wrong with it, other than the price. An old lady has no business charging $600 an hour

[Fragony]

Just does it. She likes doing it apparantly I see no problem with that. Prostitution is ok as long as there is no abuse.

[Ronin]

There is nothing wrong with it, other than the price. An old lady has no business charging $600 an hour

exactly.
but hey....buyer beware.

[Lemur]

Mother-daughter team say there's nothing incestuous about incest porn



"I was in the industry before and so was Monica; we were shooting porn independently," Jessica, 56, explained [...]

"We then had a producer approach us, and he employed a very high profile attorney out of Orlando to direct us about what legally we can do and what we can’t do. We can’t really do anything together and we wouldn’t want to because we are really mom and daughter," she revealed.

"It's worked out pretty good so far!" laughed the mother-of-two from Tampa, Florida. "I have no regrets, we have a wonderful time together and have a great respectful relationship. There’s nothing sexual about it, it is a mother-daughter relationship.

"Everyone thinks that is a wonderful idea because we’re the first ones who have done this," she explained.

While some critics are disgusted that a mother would have sex onscreen with her child, Jessica claims their accusations of inappropriateness are ridiculous.

"I think that most people are afraid to do it because of the incest implications but we’re trying to make everyone understand that there is no incest," she told Radar.

We’re a mother daughter team, we film scenes together with one or two male partners but we don’t ever interact with each other, only with the men – that’s all we’re interested in.

"Everyone is entitled to their opinion, there’s a lot of strange relationships out there and this is just one that’s different so that’s why people are interested."

Monica, now 22 and who got into the adult industry when she was 19, told Radar that filming with her mom is just another day in the office, and she couldn't be happier with their current career choice.

"We’ve had a blast at it, we’re like movie stars. We go on set and everyone treats us real special and they do our hair and makeup and tell us how beautiful we are. It’s a great ego booster!" she gushed.

[Ronin]

6 year old kid suspended from school for pointing his finger like a gun

I think you guys need a constitutional amendment to protect "cowboys and indians"

[Ronin]

Electronic payment methods no longer available in Vatican city

I guess they don´t believe in money they can´t see.

[Lemur]

PayPal founder to build small city on Mars for vegetarians



Private space entrepreneur and billionaire co-founder of PayPal, Elon Musk is planning to build a small city on Mars for 80,000 space explorers - but only vegetarians are invited!

Musk, whose Falcon 9 rocket delivers NASA cargo to the International Space Station, wants to construct a futuristic settlement on the red planet.

The new civilisation would run off sustainable technology and cater only to vegetarians, The Sun reported.

Speaking to the Royal Aeronautical Society, Musk, 41, revealed he had been waiting ten years to share his vision.

"Then it seemed ridiculous because there were no rockets, no infrastructure and NASA was the only game in town - and it had no schedule for exploring Mars," said the co-founder of Paypal, a global e-commerce business.

"But with my work, and many others working in the private sector, the mission is coming closer to reality," he added.

"On Mars you can start a self-sustaining civilisation and grow it into something really big," he said.

[Beskar]

Dudes out of his mind. We're a long ways away from making life on Mars anything but completely miserable.

I disagree, actually depends on resources and money though I highly doubt anyone would invest the money for it to be a luxurious paradise...

Initial work will always be a big pain until they start creating automated mining systems and infrastructure for complete self-sufficiency.

[InsaneApache]

What I'm worried about is all these eco/tree hugging nutcases getting into outer space. Jahweh help us.

[Tellos Athenaios]

What I'm worried about is all these eco/tree hugging nutcases getting into outer space. Jahweh help us.

What, do you prefer them hugging your lawn instead of being well away in outer space?

[Lemur]

I don't know that we have the technology to create a self-sustaining city in Antarctica. And the conditions there are several orders of magnitude better than conditions on Mars.

Just sayin'.

[Lemur]

Most weird news comes out of Florida, but every now and then the Pacific Nothwest throws down. (Also file under Dreds, White Boy, Inadvisability of.)

Suspect chokes girlfriend with his dreadlocks



A man is accused of using his dreadlocks to choke his girlfriend early Monday morning.

Caleb Grotberg, 32, faces counts of second-degree kidnapping, second-degree attempted assault, fourth-degree assault, menacing and domestic violence.

According to Portland police, officers responded to a domestic violence report at a residence in the 3200 block of Southeast 22nd Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. A woman told officers that her boyfriend, Grotberg, had assaulted her, and then choked her with his dreadlocks.

[gaelic cowboy]

I don't know that we have the technology to create a self-sustaining city in Antarctica. And the conditions there are several orders of magnitude better than conditions on Mars.

Just sayin'.

I see a chance for a Capricorn 1/Soylent Green scam for some handy cash, we build defective rockets for the eco nuts so they can go to live on mars.

Millions of them will pay good money for it, but they really just blow up the other side of the moon, we get a few actors some martian scene in nevada and were in clover.

If it was directed by the guys that did the moon landing then were doubly laughing

[Lemur]

U.S. Congress less popular than cockroaches, traffic jams, and Nickelback



It's gross to have lice but at least they can be removed in a way that given the recent reelection rates members of Congress evidently can't: Lice 67 Congress 19

Brussel sprouts may have been disgusting as a kid, but evidently they're now a lot less disgusting than Congress: Brussel Sprouts 69 Congress 23

The NFL replacement refs may have screwed everything up, but voters think Congress is screwing everything up even worse: Replacement Refs 56 Congressmen 29 (the breakdown among Packers fans might be a little bit different).

Colonoscopies are not a terribly pleasant experience but at least they have some redeeming value that most voters aren't seeing in Congress: Colonoscopies 58 Congress 31

And you can make the same point about root canals: Root Canals 56 Congress 32

You might get a bad deal from a used car salesmen, but voters evidently think they're getting an even worse deal from Congress: Used Car Salesmen 57 Congress 32

Being stuff in traffic sucks, but voters are even less happy about being stuck with this Congress: Traffic Jams 56 Congress 34

America might have had to bail out France multiple times over the years but voters still have a more charitable opinion of it than Congress: France 46 Congress 37

Carnies may use loaded dice, but voters still think they have a better chance of winning with them than Congress: Carnies 39 Congress 31

It may be true that everyone hates Nickelback, but apparently everyone hates Congress even more: Nickelback 39 Congress 32

Genghis Khan did a lot of bad stuff but I guess it's faded from voters' minds in a way that Congress' recent misdeeds haven't: Genghis Khan 41 Congress 37

DC political pundits and Donald Trump aren't held in very high esteem by the population, but they still both manage to just barely edge Congress: DC political pundits 37 Congress 34 and Donald Trump 44 Congress 42

Cockroaches are a pretty good reason to call the exterminator but voters might be even more concerned if their homes were infested with members of Congress: Cockroaches 45 Congress 43

Now the news isn't all bad for Congress:

By relatively close margins it beats out Lindsey Lohan (45/41), playground bullies (43/38), and telemarketers (45/35). And it posts wider margins over the Kardashians (49/36), John Edwards (45/29), lobbyists (48/30), Fidel Castro (54/32), Gonorrhea (53/28), Ebola (53/25), Communism (57/23), North Korea (61/26), and meth labs (60/21)

But when you're less popular than cockroaches, Genghis Khan, traffic jams, and yes even Nickelback, well, it might be time to reevaluate.

[Lemur]

Narwhal-horn smuggling ring busted in Maine



Two unnamed Canadian smugglers are being charged in Canada for arranging the sales of around 150 narwhal tusks via Fed-Ex, and two American men, Andrew Zarauskas and Jay Conrad, will be arraigned this week for receiving the tusks. At least one of them is being represented in court by a public defender, probably because he spent his rainy-day lawyer money on narwhal tusks, which can sell for up to $7,000 each.

[Fragony]

This just can't be real http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp...e1861769fe.801

[Beskar]

Snakes On A Plane
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-20975601


Snake clings to Qantas plane's wing during flight
For excitement it may not have matched the Samuel L Jackson film, Snakes On A Plane, but passengers on a Qantas flight watched with fascination as one snake fought out its own drama.

A 10-foot (3m) scrub python was battling to retain its grip on the wing as a plane made its way between the Australian town of Cairns and Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea.

It held on the whole 1hr 50 min flight.

But on arrival in Port Moresby, ground crew found the snake had died.

[InsaneApache]

It has ceased to be.

[Lemur]

Follow-up to this post.

Administration responds to Death Star petition with all sorts of liberal hooh-hah like "The Administration does not support blowing up planets." Whatever, wimps. If you people had any backbone at all, you'd be building a mother-loving Death Star.



OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE RESPONSE TO
Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

[Fragony]

Choices choices... http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technolo...173540774.html

[Ronin]

Follow-up to this post.

Administration responds to Death Star petition with all sorts of liberal hooh-hah like "The Administration does not support blowing up planets." Whatever, wimps. If you people had any backbone at all, you'd be building a mother-loving Death Star.



OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE RESPONSE TO
Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Mr. President, I find your lack of funding disturbing

[Fragony]

Mr. President, I find your lack of funding disturbing

No Ronin, I am your funder

[Vladimir]

It has begun anew:

http://www.sott.net/article/255808-L...record-numbers