News of the Weird

[Lemur]

50,000 volts delivered straight to your eye. Who says Canadians aren't tough on crime?

Toronto man struck in eye by police Taser

A man is in hospital and may lose one of his eyes after being hit by a police Taser over the weekend in Toronto.

The province's Special Investigations Unit has been called in to review the incident.

SIU spokesman Frank Phillips said Toronto officers were called to the scene of a domestic dispute in the St. Clair and Dufferin area on Saturday morning.

Phillips said a man who left the scene was confronted by police along St. Clair Avenue.

"The male was quite agitated [and] had been drinking. The officers on scene requested a sergeant attend the scene, and after further interaction with this gentleman, the sergeant deployed the Taser. And one of the probes struck the man in the eye.… we're treating this as a serious injury," said Phillips.

The Taser's hook-like prongs embedded in the man's eye and then delivered a blast of electricity.

The SIU is looking into whether the police were justified in firing the weapon and what caused the man to be hit in the eye.

The unit is called in any time there is a serious injury to a civilian involving police.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the $24,000 pussy.

And so begins the age of genetically engineered decadence.

CR

[Geoffrey S]

Not really weird, and not news, but I need to vent my frustration somewhere:

30 flippin' euros to those glorified tax-collectors for one-and-a-half blasted meters cycling over a pavement from road to bikerack! Have they got nothing better to do?

[Fragony]

Holier then thou. Increasingly.



A hole in Russia. Started small. getting bigger, nobody knows why.

[Husar]

Looks very black, as if they poured oil into the ground.

[Fragony]

Looks very black, as if they poured oil into the ground.

Multicultist hole

ha two can play that game

[Husar]

Since multicultists here come mostly from the green party, I doubt they'd pour oil into the ground.
In that case, I'd think it's black due to the sinful, evil multicultist nature and thus an evil multicultist hellhole of doom and death.

[macsen rufus]

Isn't that the same Black Hole that "almost certainly" won't destroy the earth, having escaped from CERN and used its quantum super-powers to reach Russia?

[woad&fangs]

It is obviously the begginning of a portal to hell so the zombie apocalypse can start.

[ShadesPanther]

Someone in that building divided by zero.

[Gregoshi]

Someone in that building divided by zero.

Ah! There's the problem. They divided by a hole number.

[CountArach]

It is obviously the begginning of a portal to hell so the zombie apocalypse can start.

Or the Octosquids are coming out.

And that was so awful Gregoshi...

[Gregoshi]

And that was so awful Gregoshi...

Have some pity, I was behind on my quotient last month so I have dug myself into a hole this month...

[Crazed Rabbit]

Apparently Hitler had “constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered.” according to his physician:

Medical historians are unanimous that der Fuhrer had der farting problem, according to an article by historian and travel writer Tony Perrottet in this month’s The Smart Set, a magazine from Drexel University in Philadelphia.

Hitler wrongheadedly tried to cure himself, Perrottet says, by reasoning a mostly vegetarian diet would make his farts less offensive.

A hypochondriac, Hitler swore off meat in 1931, saying his ham tasted like “a corpse” after his niece Geli Raubel killed herself.

From then on, Hitler ate vegetables, oblivious that his diet was making him smell worse. His physician, Dr. Theo Morell, wrote that after Hitler downed his vegetables, “constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered.”

Morell was a quack who earned Hitler’s loyalty and took over the dictator’s medical care in 1937. Morrell, Perrottet says, “was grossly obese, with frog-like features, sulfurous B.O. and venomous halitosis.” He also likely worsened Hitler’s dementia with Dr. Koester’s Anti-gas Pills, which contained strychnine, a poison, and antropine, which causes mood swings.”

Morrell also injected Hitler with amphetamines every morning starting in 1941. U.S. intelligence later found Morell was daily pumping Hitler with 28 different drugs. But Morrell’s diaries make clear that no matter what, Hitler kept on farting.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/int...icleid=1041553

Ain't history neat?

CR

[The Wizard]

It is obviously the begginning of a portal to hell so the zombie apocalypse can start.

Now you're thinking with portals.

[Gregoshi]

Apparently Hitler had “constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered.” according to his physician...

So in all probability, the Nazi salute was just a clever way to fan your nose against farting Fuhrer. I imagine at staff meetings with all the generals "Heil Hitler"-ing each other, the room could be cleared of flati quickly - at least for a short while.

[InsaneApache]

Yeah but who's gonna tell him?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Here's some news to cheer up people about going to the Dentist:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...dentist03.html

Dentist's drill bit lodged in patient's sinus cavity

By SUE WEIBEZAHL PORTER

The (Syracuse, N.Y.) Post-Standard

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — A dentist who was dancing to the song "Car Wash" while extracting a patient's tooth lost an inch-long drill bit, which punctured the patient's sinus cavity and came to rest by her eye socket, according to the woman's lawsuit.

...

Fanning had gone to the emergency dental clinic at Syracuse Community Health Center in October 2004 after pain in a molar worsened. Trusty gave her novocaine and while he was drilling to break the molar into quadrants before the extraction, Fanning heard a snap.

During the procedure, the lawsuit said, Trusty was "performing rhythmical steps and movements to the song 'Car Wash,' " which was on the radio in the dental suite.

Trusty then used a metal hook to try to pull the bit out, but that only pushed it farther up, driving it through the sinus and bone, the lawsuit says.

Trusty's efforts to remove the bit gouged and scraped the inside of Fanning's sinus cavity and widened the hole where the bit entered, Cote said.

When Fanning asked what was happening, Trusty told her it wasn't a big deal and that she'd likely sneeze the drill bit out, she said.

She expressed alarm and he offered to call an oral surgeon who was a friend and get her an appointment for two days later, Fanning said. Trusty made the call in front of Fanning.

When he got off the phone, she said, he told her she needed to get to an emergency room immediately. The dentist then gave her an extra shot of novocaine in case she had to wait to see a doctor, she said.

...

They had to use a chisel to break into the sinus wall, then cauterize that part of the sinus down to the bone, according to University Hospital records.

Fanning, who works for Verizon and is the mother of three boys, said doctors told her later that if she had sneezed with the bit still inside, she could have blinded her left eye.

Note: Don't read the previous article if you have an irrational fear of dentists.

CR

[Tribesman]

A penis that comes and goes ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4249949.stm

[InsaneApache]

What a Sithole.

[macsen rufus]

She told the court that the penis had returned because the healer had not been fully paid for his services.

Strange testimony, but does it stand up in court?

Okay....

[Lemur]

Vote held on stupidest laws in Great Britain. The winners are:

• A law forbidding people from breathing their last breath inside Parliament
• A law that said placing a stamp bearing the image of the ruling British monarch upside down on an envelope represented an act of treason
• A law allowing female tropical fish store employees to go topless

[Lemur]

Cliff-diving cow hits minivan

WENATCHEE, Wash., Nov. 6 (UPI) -- A Michigan couple are happy to be alive after a cow fell from a 200-foot cliff and landed on top of their minivan outside Manson, Wash.

Charles Everson Jr., 49, of Westland, Mich., told The Wenatchee (Wash.) World Monday he never saw the incoming animal until it landed squarely on the minivan as he and his wife Linda traveled along Highway 150 last weekend.

"It was just 'bam' -- you just saw something come down and hit the hood," he said of Sunday's accident. "I'm like, 'I don't believe this. I don't believe this. I don't believe this.' "

Chelan County Fire District 5 chief Arnold Baker said the cow, which he estimated at nearly 600 pounds, had been reported missing by a local breeder.

Whatever caused the animal to hurdle off the cliff remains a mystery, but Baker told the World the couple was lucky to escape with only a heavily-damaged vehicle.

"It's funny because it was such a close call," Baker said. "Inches different and the couple in this car would have been killed."

[Gregoshi]

Beware the cow droppings...

[macsen rufus]

A law allowing female tropical fish store employees to go topless

I don't see anything stupid about that (Except that it's an urban myth, of course.....)

Gotta uphold the traditional British values like fish 'n' nips!


I'm surprised they didn't come up with Cromwell's legacy of mince pies being illegal due to their "idolatrous" nature...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Defence Minister chooses motor-racing over job.

[Crazed Rabbit]

You may be able to "shake the fat" away soon:

Researchers on Long Island have made a remarkable breakthrough in weight loss. They say they've discovered a way to reduce fat and increase muscle mass by, literally, shaking away the fat.

The campus of Stony Brook University is abuzz with worldwide attention on the incredible finding.

"My sister who lives in northern Italy called me this morning to say my picture is in her newspaper today," said Stony Brook researcher Dr. Stefan Judex.

At the Center for Biotechnology, Dr. Judex explained "the buzz" is literally about a buzz, that is, a low buzz generated through a square platform that led to healthier bones and less fat in mice. The vibration is at such a low frequency, it's barely discernable.

After 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for 15 weeks, the mice used in the experiment had 27 percent less fat, and 27 percent more bone than mice that did not stand on the platform.

Stony Brook scientist Dr. Clinton Rubin then used the method on turkeys, and just like the mice did, the turkeys also gained healthier bone mass. Dr. Rubin then patented the vibrating platform when abdominal scans showed vibrated animals were also resulting in a smaller percentage of fat, including less visceral fat and less subcutaneous fat.

"Either this is this is the coolest thing over, or we are totally nuts," said Stony Brook researcher Dr. Kim Luu.

http://wcbstv.com/local/stony.brook.fat.2.490479.html

Let's order up a couple million for America, and then we'll be like svelte gods to the rest of the world!

EDIT: "T-Rex" saves the day with his nun-chucks after some meth dealers tried to kidnap his friend:
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_7392286

Who says Utah is boring?

CR

[lars573]

Simple birth defect or hard evidence of an Octosquid-Human hybrid breeding programme. Read and decide for yourself!

[Peasant Phill]

CR, that plate already exists and is called the powerplate. It's pretty common in Belgian Fitness centers. Heck, even nock-offs have been promoted.

[Ser Clegane]

Mother sent stripper to schoolboy's classroom as birthday treat