News of the Weird

[naut]

Cabbage Patch Candidates:

http://stores.ebay.com/Auction-Cause...2BSI%26otn%3D3

Holy crap, look how expensive they are!

[Gregoshi]

Holy crap, look how expensive they are!

Hey! No political commentary in the NotW thread!

[Gregoshi]

They only told you his first name, Otto. What they neglected to tell you was his last name. Blofeld.

But where is his Octopussy?

[KarlXII]

Cabbage Patch Candidates:

http://stores.ebay.com/Auction-Cause...2BSI%26otn%3D3

When you buy a McCain Cabagge Patch Kid, you're donating money to freedom

[The_Doctor]

Holy crap, look how expensive they are!

The Palin one is over $8000 now.
I feel sorry for Joe Biden, his is only up to $710.

This is how America should elect its leaders in the future.

[ShadesPanther]

Why you should never use a public toilet

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Man is found glued to toilet seat

A man had to be taken to hospital still attached to a steel toilet after super-glue was deliberately smeared on the seat.

Firefighters were unable to free the man and were forced to remove the entire toilet with the man attached.

The 35-year-old was in a public toilet cubicle in Brierley Hill in the West Midlands when he became stuck.

He was taken to hospital where doctors had to get into the ambulance before using chemicals to free him.

Toilet re-installed

An ambulance service spokesman said: "He appeared to be none the worse for his ordeal other than being understandably somewhat embarrassed."

It is thought the glue had been smeared on the toilet seat by a prankster.

An ambulance crew and a rapid response vehicle attended the scene just before midday but they were unable to free the man.

"With the help of a local authority and the fire and rescue service, the man was removed from the cubicle still attached to the stainless steel toilet," the spokesman said.

The toilet was later taken back to the public convenience and re-installed.

The best quote is definately

The toilet was later taken back to the public convenience and re-installed.

I hope someone gets to the bottom of this prank.

[Hosakawa Tito]

They'll get theirs in the end.

[Conqueror]

Talk about a sticky situation. But I bet he was relieved in the end.

[asilv]

Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I'll bet it was a King Edward.

[gaelic cowboy]

http://http://www.westernpeople.ie/news/story/?trs=eycwauojsn

What the hell how they manage this

[Lemur]

A thought for our many contributors -- many news sources (especially local newspapers) will move, archive or lock a news story after a month or two. Because of this, I always try to include enough text and/or images so that even if my link goes dead, a reader will be able to appreciate the Weird News if they choose to read this thread a year or two from now. gaelic cowboy, your story is fun and wonderful, but all you give us is the naked link to a local paper. Betcha that link will be dead in under a year.

Getting back to sill news:

Behold, the winner of Saudi Arabia's Most Beautiful Goat competition:

[Louis VI the Fat]

I'll bet it was a King Edward.

Me, I bet it was a reindeer stuck on Baffin Island.

Or, to be more specific, that is how much sense your post makes to me.
I tried Wikipedia, but I can't find anything of relevance. What is 'a King Edward'? Why is it funny?

Of course, I am pure and innocent, and hence quickly lost with sexual innuendo and smutty references.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Why are they all lining up to take pictures of that goat from behind?

[ShadesPanther]

Me, I bet it was a reindeer stuck on Baffin Island.

Or, to be more specific, that is how much sense your post makes to me.
I tried Wikipedia, but I can't find anything of relevance. What is 'a King Edward'? Why is it funny?

Of course, I am pure and innocent, and hence quickly lost with sexual innuendo and smutty references.

King Edward is a type of potato.
Click me to gain potato knowledge!

King Edward Potatoes

A white skinned potato with a pinkish tinge and a creamy, pale yellow floury flesh. King Edwards are suitable for mashing, roasting and baking.

I love me spuds, I do!

[Banquo's Ghost]

Or, to be more specific, that is how much sense your post makes to me.
I tried Wikipedia, but I can't find anything of relevance. What is 'a King Edward'? Why is it funny?

Oh dear.

The "King Edward" is a popular variety of potato.

King Edward II of England was famously slain by the insertion of a red hot poker into his nether regions.

No, it's not funny or clever when one has to explain.

[Gregoshi]

Why are they all lining up to take pictures of that goat from behind?

Because all the men in the picture like goatease? Just kidding...

[Gregoshi]

Oh dear.

The "King Edward" is a popular variety of potato.

King Edward II of England was famously slain by the insertion of a red hot poker into his nether regions.

No, it's not funny or clever when one has to explain.

So King Edward was a hot potato? Or a poker chip...

You can always try to make the explanation funny BG. Actually, I'm even more impressed now that you've explained it. That's cleverness right up there with your fairy mound (forget the word) pun awhile back that sailed right over my head but was absolutely brilliant upon explanation.

[Louis VI the Fat]

No, it's not funny or clever when one has to explain.

It is wonderfully clever. Alas, that were just two cultural allusions too many for me.


Is this then what Gregoshi has been doing with all those weird and inexplicable posts of his?

[InsaneApache]

Yes.

[Gregoshi]

I feel acutely obtuse now.

[InsaneApache]

No, I think this opuns a new door for you. Just to give a pundits view of it, I see it as a new dawn in Franco-Punssian relations.

I gotta go, my dinners in the opun.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun

[Louis VI the Fat]

I feel acutely obtuse now.

I fear it is me. I am having major communication difficulties with the whole of the English speaking world at the moment.

In this thread and elsewhere. My nonsense is taken seriously, my serious posts are considered nonsense.

Either you have all been kidnapped and replaced by aliens. Or just when I think I have the Anglos down, whatever I say is misunderstood and whatever they say is lost on me. Gah! I should've learned Chinese, a far simpler language and a less perplexing culture.


Only direct, short and simple statements from me from now on. (At least, for as long as I can manage, which is, knowing myself a fair bit, probably not very long)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The joke was: G posts 5000 hilariously funny puns. Puns deliberately exploit confusion between similar-sounding words or conflicting concepts for humorous effect.
L reads them, laughs at them for years. Then one day, L asks to have a pun by B explained. B's pun went completely over L's head, owing to unfamiliarity with British history and British potato brands.
B's joke is explained to L. L understands why it was funny. L now makes joke: 'so do you mean to say that G's posts are constructions of this kind too? That the confusion of his posts caused by similar-sounding words is deliberate for humorous effect?'.

Cue laughter, since of course L understands that G's posts are puns.

ShadesPanther - thanks for your earlier explanation. I shamefully forgot to thank you in my previous post.


Edit: what am I talking about. I shouldn't have learned Chinese. I should've learned Punjabi.

[InsaneApache]

The joke was: G posts 5000 hilariously funny puns. Puns deliberately exploit confusion between similar-sounding words or conflicting concepts for humorous effect.
L reads them, laughs at them for years. Then one day, L asks to have a pun by B explained. B's pun went completely over L's head, owing to unfamiliarity with British history and British potato brands.
B's joke is explained to L. L understands why it was funny. L now makes joke: 'so do you mean to say that G's posts are constructions of this kind too? That the confusion of his posts caused by similar-sounding words is deliberate for humorous effect?'.

Cue laughter, since of course L understands that G's posts are puns.

By Gad sir, you are indeed a sport, I'd take me hat off, if I were wearing one.

[Gregoshi]

The joke was: G posts 5000 hilariously funny puns. Puns deliberately exploit confusion between similar-sounding words or conflicting concepts for humorous effect.
L reads them, laughs at them for years. Then one day, L asks to have a pun by B explained. B's pun went completely over L's head, owing to unfamiliarity with British history and British potato brands.
B's joke is explained to L. L understands why it was funny. L now makes joke: 'so do you mean to say that G's posts are constructions of this kind too? That the confusion of his posts caused by similar-sounding words is deliberate for humorous effect?'.

Cue laughter, since of course L understands that G's posts are puns.

What the L? So my initial reaction missed the punchline. Man, I just got punked by L.

[The Celtic Viking]

Worshipping a golden calf is a sin and it makes god angry, but worshipping a golden BULL, now THAT'S going to save the economy!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Here's a CBN source if you need it. I went with the blog because of the nice little picture, and I like the socialism gag.

http://www.cbn.com/700club/guests/bi...obs102008.aspx

[InsaneApache]

A 32-year-old man who dumped a blow-up doll and sex toys at the side of the road has been fined £75.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_west/7708155.stm

I think the whole thing was blown up out of proportion.

[Louis VI the Fat]

So an 83-year old nun, a priest and another nun walk into a bar...

Nuns 'in Italy restaurant brawl'

A priest and two nuns have allegedly beaten up a restaurant boss in the village of Rutino near Salerno in southern Italy. Antonio Esposito, 49, was taken to hospital with neck and stomach injuries allegedly after a dispute concerning the restaurant lease.

Italian police said the restaurant was left looking like a scene from a "wild west saloon".

The priest and nuns deny the allegations, their lawyer says. "Let's be realistic here, all three have a combined age of 160 so it's not very likely they are going to attack a 49-year-old man," said the lawyer, Gaetano Di Vietri.
The restaurant is owned by the local religious order who want the property back and claim it is being occupied illegally. All three have a combined age of 160 so it's not very likely they are going to attack a 49-year-old man

Mr Esposito told police that the priest hit him over the head with a chair and the nuns followed by kicking him.

[Lemur]

A little something for election day in the U.S.:

Nudist Group Wants Clothing-optional Polling Site

A nudist community on Florida's west coast wants to establish the first clothing-optional polling site. The Caliente Resorts, located in Pasco County north of Tampa, has approached election officials about the idea.

Nothing in state law would prohibit it, but the supervisor of elections says he is opposed to creating any new precincts before redistricting in 2010.

[Gregoshi]

Nudist Group Wants Clothing-optional Polling Site

What's an election without claims by some group of a coverup?