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Thread: News of the Weird

  1. #1
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Thumbs up News of the Weird

    I think I'm going to consolidate all of my "news of the weird" posts into a single thread, along the lines of the "Backroom Video" and suchlike. I see way too many odd stories that I want to post, and I don't want to be accused of cluttering up the forum. Just an idea, anyway.

    Here's for starters: I'm not the only person who wants to become an elf. Huzzah for elfectomies:

    Accused knicker nicker says he was in bad elf

    Wednesday, March 7, 2007

    A man accused of robbing a Belfast lingerie shop at knifepoint has fallen back on a time honoured defence – namely, his claim that he believed he was a female elf at the time.

    Belfast Crown Court was told by the prosecution that 45-year-old Robert Boyd from Broadlands, Carrickfergus had held up the shop, Orchid, while disguised in a wig, hat and sunglasses. He allegedly made off with bras, knickers, stockings and suspender belts.

    However, Boyd's defence maintain that at the time, Boyd believed that he was a elf, having been playing the cyberpunk role-playing game Shadowrun.

    More specifically, he believed that he was a female shaman (meaning a natural magic user) elf named Beho, and that he thought he was armed with a samurai sword. Boyd admits that he may have 'blurred reality and fantasy'.

    He also claims that he can not remember the details of the incident.

    While Boyd maintains that he is innocent of the crime, he admits that he can't be sure that the metahuman Beho did not plan to rob the store.

    The prosecution are sceptical of these claims, and suggest that Boyd/Beho is 'using this memory loss scenario to avoid answering very difficult questions.'

  2. #2
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    I think this is a great idea for a thread - though it might mean we loose out on some entertaining threads about odd incidents. Hmmm. Can't hurt to try.

    Mind if I occasionally post a crazy story or two? I love the one about the elf by the way, and I can't wait to see how it turns out.

    CR
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    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  3. #3
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Nice idea Lemur, but you started it off by consolidating someone else's thread - the elf story was already posted here by Insane Apache.

    Gotta move fast with News of the Weird.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Bump

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070314/...x5kmCGIfkuQE4F

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    BILLINGS, Mont. - A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post — it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.

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    Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.

    A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.

    Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  5. #5
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    I'm layin' this track down for my main man DJ Banquo G. Russian man grows penis on arm.

    I'm still trying to live down the shame that I started this thread with a dupe ...

  6. #6
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3423881.stm
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Drunken elephants die in accident

    By Subir Bhaumik
    BBC correspondent in Calcutta

    Four wild elephants drunk on rice beer have been electrocuted in the north-east Indian state of Meghalaya, wildlife officials report.

    The elephants are known to have a taste for rice beer brewed by tribal communities across north-east India.

    But this is the first time some of them have died after consuming the drink.

    A herd of about 20 to 25 elephants went on the rampage in a remote area in the West Garo Hills district earlier this week after getting high on the beer.

    As panicky villagers fled for cover, leaving behind their freshly brewed beverage, the elephants drank to their heart's content.

    The inebriated elephants then struck an electric pole and brought it down.

    But their trunks took the brunt of the shock from the high-tension wire.

    Four of the elephants were killed instantly.

    Assam's elephant expert Kushal Konwar Sharma, a lecturer, said these elephants frequently consume rice beer and cause devastation when they become intoxicated.

    Wildlife officials say in the last two years elephants have killed at least 180 people in Assam and Meghalaya.

    And more than 200 elephants have been killed by angry villagers during the last six years in the two states, in what is developing into a fierce conflict between man and beast.



    None of this would have happened if they had gotten fingerprints first...
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  7. #7
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    So binge drinking isn't just a human problem...
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  8. #8
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    I'm layin' this track down for my main man DJ Banquo G. Russian man grows penis on arm.
    Extraordinary.

    The field sir, is yours.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

  9. #9
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Pedophile endorses Obama after rating candidates' kids for "cuteness." I dunno if this is News of the Weird or just Weird News.

    Obama's lawyers contacted the pedo and demanded a takedown of the pics, which has apparently happened.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070324/...Y3i8Ax4p8uQE4F

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    SAO PAULO, Brazil - A Brazilian housewife was convicted and sentenced to 19 years in prison Friday for killing her husband, chopping his body into small pieces and frying it. Rosanita Nery dos Santos, 52, drugged her husband in his sleep, then stabbed him to death two years ago in Salvador, about 900 miles northeast of Sao Paulo, said police spokesman Idmar Bonfim.

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    She then hacked Jose Raimundo Soares dos Santos' body into more than 100 pieces, which she boiled and fried before hiding in plastic bags beneath a staircase in her house, Bonfim said. He said police discovered the body parts after receiving an anonymous phone call.

    Bonfim said the killing was either part of a black magic ritual or an attempt by the wife to collect life insurance worth about $34,000.

    Citing testimony from the woman's relatives, he said she may also have committed the crime "to avenge many years of humiliation from her husband." He did not provide further details.

    Santos denied killing her husband but said she chopped up his body, Bonfim said.

    "She claims masked assailants entered her house, killed her husband and then forced her to cut up the body and fry it because that would prevent the stench of a decomposing body from alerting neighbors," he said.


    MMMM everything's better fried.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  11. #11
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Funny thing: a (former) faculty member at my school, a person known to me, made the official News o' the Weird list back in 2001 for sexual deviancy - namely, he pled guilty to luring a minor to his house for sex - though he just wanted her to kick him in the balls repeatedly cause he's a pervert. Unsurprisingly, he neglected to mention his past as a sex offender when working for the university, a couple years after his jail stint. But after he invited some college girls to his hotel for 'self defense classes' - consisting of them kicking him in the balls for hours, the school did a background check and fired his fat ***.

    Heh, just checked, and he's still got his facebook page. But his list of friends is slowly decreasing.

    Crazed Rabbit
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    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  12. #12
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Crocodiles swarming across northern Australia are heading for a victory — people are to be fined for getting in their way.
    and my own personal favourite...

    Only a politician could believe that a fine was a greater disincentive to swimming than a crocodile.


    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1555657.ece
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  13. #13
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Another oddity. Texas A&M Coed Killed, Chopped Up And Grilled On Patio by Boyfriend. "The smell was awful," say neighbors.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Neighbors react to alleged slay-grilling

    By MONICA RHOR, Associated Press Writer Sun Mar 25, 6:16 PM ET

    HOUSTON - For at least two days, neighbors at a city apartment complex noticed an acrid aroma, black smoke and leaping flames coming from two barbecue grills on the balcony of a second-floor apartment.

    What, neighbors at the Red Oak Place apartments wondered, was going on in the unit where 27-year-old Timothy Wayne Shepherd lived? What was he burning at all hours, for days at a time? The answer turned their stomachs.

    According to law enforcement officials, Shepherd dismembered, and then burned the body of his former girlfriend, Tynesha Stewart, a 19-year-old Texas A&M University student. Nothing remains of Stewart's body, Harris County Sheriff Tommy Thomas said at a press conference Saturday.

    "I just don't know what to think about it," said Louis Evans, whose balcony faces Shepherd's in the quiet tree-lined enclave in northern Houston. "I thought he was a nice normal person. I guess you never know what your neighbors are doing."

    Authorities said Shepherd has confessed to strangling and dismembering Stewart, a college freshman who was home on spring break, because he was angry that she had started a new relationship.

    Officials first thought Shepherd had disposed of her remains in a large commercial trash bin that had since been emptied, launching an intense debate in the area about whether the Sheriff's Department should conduct a massive and expensive search of area landfills for Stewart's remains.

    Stewart was last seen March 15 and was reported missing March 19. The next day the Harris County Sheriff's Office homicide division launched its investigation.

    On March 16, neighbors said they first noticed the unusual activity — and the unpleasant odor — on Shepherd's balcony.

    "The smell was awful," said Evans, who also became alarmed after seeing a blaze shoot out from the grills. "I was wondering: What is he burning? Not cooking, but burning. There is a difference."

    At times, Evans said, the flames from the grills leapt dangerously close to the roof of the balcony. Evans says he called 911, but when firefighters arrived, the flames had calmed and Shepherd assured them everything was under control.

    A leasing agent at the apartment complex also noticed the thick dark smoke and the intense flames and asked Shepherd what he was doing, Evans said. Another neighbor, 18-year-old James Hebert, told The Houston Chronicle that he often cooked out with Shepherd, and even left his grill at Shepherd's apartment. When he wasn't invited over, he asked his neighbor what was going on. Shepherd replied that he was cooking for a wedding, the newspaper said.

    Dionne Whitaker, 31, who lives in the complex, said she saw Shepherd carry the grill and smoker to a garbage bin a day or so later, the newspaper said.

    Human remains generally require extremely high temperatures to destroy, and authorities have not said how it is possible that Stewart's remains could be completely burned on a patio grill.

    "This certainly turned out to be one of the most heinous crimes I've ever seen in my 38 years (in law enforcement)," Thomas, the sheriff, said Saturday.

    Shepherd, who is charged with murder, is being held on $250,000 bond in the Harris County Jail. Telephone message left with his attorney, Chip Lewis, were not immediately returned. On Sunday, the door to Shepherd's apartment was covered with plywood boards.

  14. #14
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Hmm. Times are tough in the Palestinian enclave at Gaza, but you still need to kill the crocs before they can be used as handbags.

    EU snaps up Gaza croc woman.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    A Palestinian woman was found to have three live crocodiles strapped to her stomach when she was stopped by EU officials at Gaza's border with Egypt.

    The reptiles, each around 40-50cm (15-20 inches) long, were taped to the woman's body beneath her dress.

    But despite her loose fitting robe, suspicions were raised by her girth, an EU spokeswoman told the BBC.

    The woman told border guards she intended to sell the crocodiles to a zoo in Gaza City.

    She was stopped last week but later released.

    The reptiles were sent back to Egypt.

    EU spokeswoman Maria Telleria Chavarri said the discovery had caused amazement among border officials.

    She said border guards have in the past foiled attempts to smuggle exotic birds and two lion cubs into Gaza.

    "It's illegal to smuggle such animals. Crocodiles are protected under UN regulations," she added.

    The EU's Border Assistance Mission has been assisting with security in the area since November 2005.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

  15. #15
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    If there's on thing the world needs, it's a fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot with frickin' laser beams for eyes. And it should menace incoming aircraft.

    Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot

    03/27/2007 4:00 PM, Yahoo! Music

    Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

    The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

    It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

    If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

    It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

    Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

    "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

    On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."
    Last edited by Lemur; 07-01-2013 at 16:02.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Senior Member Fisherking's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Of all the things no one would want (except MJ) this has got to be on the top of the list...

    Maybe he is angling for Vagus to pay him off for not building it???

    Any bets?


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  17. #17
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    So, does this baby break the land speed record, then?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Wis. couple have baby at nearly 100 mph

    March 23, 2007

    ASHLAND, Wis. --Jereme Tauer Jr. was born at almost 100 mph as his parents hurtled down U.S. Highway 2 in northernmost Wisconsin in a Dodge Neon. His parents, Jereme and Lisa Tauer of Hurley, managed the birth without a doctor, pain medication or even stopping the car.

    "We were just shocked," said the baby's grandmother, Billi Tauer of Hurley. "When (her son) called, he was so excited, and we thought it was just over the birth. He's like, 'Ma, ma, ma, we have a boy! We have a boy, we have a boy -- and, and, and, you're not going to believe -- he was born in this car!"

    Lisa Tauer's contractions started about 3 a.m. Tuesday. Her husband took their 16-month-old daughter to his parents' home and then returned to take her to the hospital.

    "By the time he came back, I was standing on the street and waiting for him to get in my car," she said. "By then, my contractions were 10 minutes apart. So I'm like, 'OK, we have time.'"

    But as Lisa, a 28-year-old manager at Fashion Bug, and Jereme, a 29-year-old carpenter and mason, sped toward the hospital, her contractions became more frequent and her water broke.

    "I felt like I needed to push, and he was telling me, 'Don't push, just breathe,'" she said. "I was like, 'I can't just breathe. The breathing's not working anymore!'"

    She pushed "a little bit" and felt better. Then Jereme turned on the car's interior light, and the surprised couple saw the baby's head.

    "I was like, 'I better push it all the way out,'" Lisa Tauer said. "So he was holding onto the head, while I was trying to push."

    She reclined her seat as much as possible.

    "I was like really high up, so the baby landed right on the seat," Lisa Tauer said.

    Her husband was driving at 90 mph to 100 mph and trying to keep an eye on the road.

    "I just kind of cradled him as he came out, and watched him, watched the road. Watched him, watched the road," Jereme Tauer Sr. said. "There wasn't even time to stop, to hit the brakes and stop."

    With the six-pound, 13-ounce boy in the car, the couple spotted a squad car. Jereme Tauer flashed his lights, pulled over and explained the situation. The officer escorted them to Memorial Medical Center in Ashland, about 220 miles northeast of Minneapolis.

    Jereme Tauer said one good thing about the experience is that he won't forget the moment his son was born.

    "I had a good look at the time, because it's right by the dashboard," he said. "It was 4:35."


    CR
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  18. #18
    Evil Sadist Member discovery1's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    If there's on thing the world needs, it's a fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot with frickin' laser beams for eyes. And it should menace incoming aircraft.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot

    03/27/2007 4:00 PM, Yahoo! Music

    Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

    The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

    It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.

    If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

    It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.

    Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

    "Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

    On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."


    This makes me sad. I hope it's not built.


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  19. #19
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Why wouldn't you want a 50 foot Michael Jackson in the desert? How awesome would it be to do a drive-by shooting on?
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  20. #20
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    If there's one thing the world needs, it's a fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot with frickin' laser beams for eyes. And it should menace incoming aircraft.
    Only in Vegas. I love it. Let him have his robot.
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  21. #21
    probably bored Member BDC's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    It'd be like having a big sign saying "your children are not safe here!"

  22. #22
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    I've watched movies and this Michael Jackson robot sounds like step #1 in a world take-over bid. If he builds it, I'd call in the Science Patrol* to destroy it.

    * from old TV show Ultraman
    This space intentionally left blank

  23. #23
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Man gets involved in saw mill accident involving his penis. The weird part:

    A spokesman for Parafield Gardens Saw Mill said: 'He got caught in the log moving mechanism on one of the saws.' The spokesman maintained that the man's injuries were not serious.

    I'm sorry, but when you combine the terms "saw mill" and "penis," it's kinda serious.

  24. #24
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    First thought: was it crosscut or ripped?
    Second thought: does it really matter?

    This space intentionally left blank

  25. #25
    Headless Senior Member Pannonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Anyone who can get BBC should watch this coming week's episode of New Street Law.

    From the Radio Times
    Wednesday 4 April, New Street Law, 6/6
    Jack and Laura defend a man accused of killing a burglar, while Charlie's client is suing his next door neighbour because her dog bit off his testicle.

    The writer is someone called Matthew Hall, which I suspect is the RL name of Banquo's Ghost.

  26. #26
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi
    First thought: was it crosscut or ripped?
    Sounds like more of a ripping action.

    The man, 30, was working at the Parafield Gardens Saw Mill at about 1.50pm when his crotch and penis became caught in the chain of a piece of machinery.

    He was taken to the Royal Adelaide Hospital. It is believed his injuries are not life threatening but he initially suffered uncontrollable bleeding.

  27. #27
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Bulgaria goes into debt to buy its cash-starved medical system a fleet of Porsche Cayenne ambulances. Definitely weird.


  28. #28
    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Recent posts have been insufficiently weird for my tastes. I shall be complaining to the management.

    In the meantime, here is a four legged duck.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/h...re/6520965.stm

    Also, and I know we do do this every year but it bears repeating, there is still good time to get in training for this year's cheese rolling: http://www.doctordanger.com/other/Cheese.htm

    But as they say:

    A word of warning: YOU WILL BE INJURED!
    Coopers Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake is dangerous and can easily result in serious injury or possibly death. When we had a go in 2002 it seemed someone wound up being karted off in an ambulance after almost every run - and considering only 15 people participate in each run the odds of being injured are not favourable.

    Spectators have been known to be injured as well. One year a spectator caught the round of cheese in his head and sent him tumbling down the hill where he received treatment from the paramedics.
    Given that each race lasts about 30 seconds, giving a 1 in 15 chance of hospitalisation, does this make cheese rolling statistically the most dangerous sport on earth?
    "The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that Navaros is claiming that Satan gave Man meat. Awesome." Gorebag

  29. #29
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Perhaps not weird enough for EA but silly nevertheless....

    A man with no legs was asked to prove he was disabled before being allowed on to a bus in Manchester.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...er/6521979.stm

    I used to get the #17 bus down Rochdale Rd. to visit my grandad.

    This reminds me of the old joke about a guy with no arms, one leg and three ears waiting for a bus......

    When the bus arrives the conductor says...

    Hello, hello, hello, you look harmless enough, hop on!
    There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.

    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”

    To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.

    "The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."

  30. #30
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: News of the Weird

    Re: the cheese rolling - these folks aren't very sharp.
    This space intentionally left blank

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