Breed Glaciers In Captivity $45 mil

[Fisherking]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...logists_secure

FAIRBANKS, AK—Researchers from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration received a $42 million federal grant for a captive-glacier breeding project that will attempt to spawn three to five of the massive, slow-moving bodies of land-carving ice by 2020.

"As the number of glaciers worldwide is less than half what it was 40 years ago, it is evident that we must do something to improve glacial fertility or they will face imminent extinction," said NOAA chief glacier behaviorist Ingrid Boorstein at a press conference at the future site of the National Indoor Glacier Preserve in central Alaska. "We've already sent teams of specially trained climbers to collect the Aletsch Glacier in Switzerland, Vatnajökull in Iceland, and the Siachen in the Himalayas to establish mating pairs."






The NOAA has received heavy criticism for its past failed attempts to reintroduce wild glaciers into their former Ice Age habitats in Central Europe and on the plains of the American Midwest.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I thought that project had been put on ice?

[CountArach]

Oh that was cold BG, real cold.

[Gregoshi]

I thought that project had been put on ice?

Classic!

[Csargo]

Throw a couple of ice cubes in. It'll be fine.

[Adrian II]

Rearranging the icebergs on the Titanic?

[Gregoshi]

Classified ad for glacier dating:

Fridged female seeks cool icicle who won't crack under pressure, is deep as an iceberg and snows how to melt my cold, cold heart. Must like slow walks down the valley and sculpting the landscape. Ideal mate must not be afraid of a diamond rink in the future and growing old and blue together.

[Louis VI the Fat]

There's no point in trying to post anything funny and witty anymore after the grandmaster has spoken already.

I salute your brilliance, Gregoshi.

[Idaho]

There's no point in trying to post anything funny and witty anymore after the grandmaster has spoken already.

Yeah, you'd only get a frosty reception.

[Adrian II]

Yeah, you'd only get a frosty reception.

Gregoshi wouldn't cold-shoulder him.

[Gregoshi]

Yeah, I'd be 'ice to him. Humour is a good thing and should be encouraged - it freeze your mind from worry and sadness if only for a moment.

[Vladimir]

Born free, Free as the moun-tains...

No I'm not trying to compete, just singing.