Top 10 April Fools

[Lemur]

In honor of the day that is minutes away ...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Ten of the best April Fool's Day hoaxes: US museum

Mar 29 01:46 AM US/Eastern

From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.

Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.

-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.

-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.

-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.

-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.

Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.

-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.

-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.

-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.

-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.

-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.

[CountArach]

3 PM here, so already most of the way through. Faked a hacker on another forum I frequent.

Oh and most people believed it. We deleted the posts that picked up that it was April fool's Day

[KukriKhan]

A classic from 1994:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

From: Newswire Mailing
To: IS Daily News Services for Executives
Cc: Newswire Mailing
Subject: MICROSOFT: Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
Date: Tuesday, November 29, 1994 7:16AM


MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

By Hank Vorjes

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's
Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that
the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in
exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common
stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a
computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior
vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software
Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and
Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said
MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.

"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five
to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and
the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more
fun for a broader range of people."

Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service,
"we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time"
and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling
indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins,
receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all
without leaving your home."

A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro
language which you can program to download heavenly graces
automatically while you are away from your computer.

An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's
Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in
character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was
broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello
chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy
hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.

The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible
and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by
such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT
will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors'
access to these key intellectual properties.

"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy
scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take
the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before
the Catholics came on the scene."

But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a
common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more
successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame
theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the
Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while
Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now
touted by Christianity, lags behind.

Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive
competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to
Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in
various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with
Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today
Christianity is available from several denominations, but the
Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission
is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's
vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home".

Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable
religious architecture that will support all religions through
emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of
interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a
couple of different implementations," said Gates.

The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions,
according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist
Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position
in the increasingly competitive religious market.

KBviaNewsEDGE

Copyright (c) 1994 Knight-Ridder / Tribune Business News
Received via NewsEDGE from Desktop Data, Inc.: 03/07/94 19:20

[Csargo]

hAHAHAH

[AntiochusIII]

I feel...I feel...gravity!!!

lol. I wonder what they'll do this year. Hopefully not something asinine like some TV stations *coughAdultSwimcough* already do.

Edit: Thanks Kukri. Now I know where the whole "Pope Gates I" thing came from!

[Lemur]

Here's one for this year -- Gmail Paper.

Is it free?

Yes. The cost of postage is offset with the help of relevant, targeted, unobtrusive advertisements, which will appear on the back of your Gmail Paper prints in red, bold, 36 pt Helvetica. No pop-ups, no flashy animations—these are physically impossible in the paper medium.

[edit]

Another one, this time from The Register. Apple and Google team up to create ultimate phone.

In keeping with the iPod tradition, the "ID" has no power switch. In fact, there are no buttons at all. More surprisingly, Jonathan Ives' industrial design means there's no room for a SIM card, or any embedded cellullar radio circuitry.

As a consequence, the "ID" is incapable of making or receiving telephone calls - but Apple says this is a feature most of its target market won't miss.

"People said they wanted an iPhone above all, to make a statement about themselves," an Apple engineering source told us. "Let's face it, they don't like talking and most of them have no one to call anyway."

[KafirChobee]

I recall seeing the spaghetti one (was about the man that produced it), but it was an entire travel log thing as I recall - and I thought it was Italian farmers (the women had scarves and mustaches). Still, upon seeing it I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Thx for the memory - still makes me laugh to think about it.

The NY Mets player was by Pinkett (? am terrible with names - of 'Paper Lion' fame) - the player threw barefoot, he had to use a psuedo-name to pull it off because he had already pulled a number of April fools on NY'ers and sports fans in general (one about a QB that could throw a ball through a basketball size hoop at 100 yards, and another about 7'9" basketball player that ... well you get the picture). A number of my buds thought the BB player was real - they were arguing about whether he would have to wear shoes (they hurt his feet).

Is always a joy to see just how gullible we can be.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

http://www.google.com/tisp/

Free internet access

[CountArach]

OMG! Damn you Sasaki! I was about to post that.

[Kanamori]

April fools always makes me uneasy... I spend most of the day waiting for someone to throw some disheartening facade at me...

April fools is cruelty day.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Here's a link to the Spaghetti programme.

[Yoyoma1910]

Personally, my favourite April fools joke is the one where you put a badger in someone you love's sock drawer.





hah ah ahahah. Oh the memories.

[Hosakawa Tito]

A few of my favorites played at work from Fool's Day past:

Smear Icy Hot, a clear gel used for relief of sore muscles, on all the toilet seats in the Administration building (ladies included), especially the Superintendent's exclusively private commode.

The Captain's secretary keeps a bowl of "Jelly Belly" jelly beans on her desk. Our free-loading Captain grabs a handful on his way through her office to his every morning. I laced the bowl(after getting permission from her) with some "unusual flavors" that Jelly Belly puts out; Sardine, Vomit, and Booger. For some reason Herr Capitan don't like free jelly beans anymore.

A friend who just made Lieutenant has been coming in early to do PT with the DI's. He's about as scrawny a guy as I've ever met. After a couple of months he's been bragging about how ripped he's getting. So one morning while the Hulk is working out, I come in early and head down to the Quarter Master's supply room. We requisition a XX-SMALL Lieutenant's uniform, and borrowing the locksmith's master-locker key, we switch out our Hero's uniform with the XXS. Man, he's right, he is getting bigger.

Fortunately for my colleagues, I'm off on da Fools Day this year.

[Lemur]

Another kinda funny one. Pirate Bay gets a permanent hosting deal from North Korea.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Finally a permanent solution for the hosting.

Today we announce that we're moving some of our servers to the North-Korean Embassy in Stockholm, Sweden.

After lenghty discussions with the leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Il we have decided to start a cooperation.

Some of the reasons are the extremely good bandwidth agreement we get - redundant fibre links, redundant power with diesel to last for four years makes the colocation a very good deal for us.

We are also promised immunity against foreign copyright holders and all of the crew will get North Korean citizenships.

"One of the reasons that we're doing the move is also that the Swedish King still haven't granted us a visit with his daughter. This ignorance towards the cultural benefits of having a site like The Pirate Bay can not be ignored." says Tiamo, one of the founders of The Pirate Bay.

We would like to thank Kim Jong-Il for the opportunity and we would like all of our users to review their current feelings towards this great nation!

[Lemur]

According to the Economist, the Finns are the most enthusiastic April foolers. Unless the article is another April 1 joke ... oooh, the paranoia is getting to me. It's kind of like The Matrix, but without the squid robots, the virtual world or the human gel capsules. Or the hot babes in vinyl catsuits. Or the soundtrack. But beyond that, it's exactly the same.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Fools' paradise

Apr 1st 2007 | HELSINKI, MALABO AND PARIS
Finland leads the world in weird sports and pranks

THE Finns like a laugh. Famous for an annual wife-carrying competition, for regular success at the world air-guitar championship and record-breaking hurling of rubber boots and mobile phones, Finland can now claim another accolade: its citizens are reportedly the world’s keenest pranksters. Celebrated for a full week at the beginning of April in the capital, Helsinki, and for weeks at a time in rural areas, the traditional “spring joke” in Finland has been raised to a national art form.

This long involved young men trying to catch the eye of women, typically by donning fancy dress (in the cold war a favourite was the garb of Soviet border guards) or through good-natured abduction—often in combination. More recently motorists have learned to watch for fake road-safety signs, which frequently cause springtime gridlock and collisions. Diplomats are increasingly wary of water-bomb attacks at functions—one thin-lipped European ambassador lodged a protest after being drenched in 2005. Even political leaders indulge. In 2003 the government apologised after stating that Finland wanted Sweden expelled from the European Union during a row about pickled herring.

But Finland’s enthusiasm is not unique. Dr Is Poli-Savon, an anthropologist at the Paris-based Fairpooll Foundation, says that in many countries fooling is seen as a celebration of the end of winter. “In modern societies it serves as a rare chance for semi-subversive behaviour within safely defined parameters”, he says. Polls conducted by his team of researchers suggest that, despite suspicions to the contrary, many different cultures do share a common sense of humour.

A surprising number of German adults take part in April Fooling, along with many French (see chart) who mark “poisson d’avril” by sticking paper fish on each others’ backs. Most Iranian jokers choose April 3rd, the 13th day of the Persian calendar, for mild joking. But not absolutely everyone sees the funny side. Adults in Equatorial Guinea, an oil-rich speck of a country in west Africa, are reportedly the least inclined to find anything to chuckle about. Fooling by anyone over the age of 13 years recently became a criminal offence, with exceptions only for the president and his extended family.

[Kanamori]

You forgot about guns and swords and secret agents with viruses.

[zelda12]

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/art/news/...047565,00.html

"Tony Blair has agreed to resurrect his interest in acting when he leaves Number 10 after he was approached about a major stage role by his close friend, the artistic director of the Old Vic, Kevin Spacey, The Observer can reveal."

"Some MPs have, however, expressed concern. One senior cabinet minister, who did not wish to be named, said: 'An ambassador arrived at Number 10 the other day to find Tony dressed like a Puritan, waving a crucifix in the air and shouting about chasing out the devil. Fortunately the ambassador had studied The Crucible at UCL.'"

I do hope it was an April fools.