You may be right about the loss of hair Whacker. The large button with the purple/fusia icon (second from right) looks like the "shoot the stream of water so strong that is lifts me up off the bidet and I'm riding on top of the geyser" button. Fun and pain at the push of a button.

The "buttons" on the top look like those from a tape deck. I'd love to know what most of those buttons do, but most of all I'd love to know how you are supposed to be pressing the (right) buttons with your back to them...