Shadows of the Past

[Dol Guldur]

I never seem to get the time to read - let alone write! - anything in these forums. So I will comment only on the first part :(

It is a well-written piece. Let's take a look at the first paragraph.

The hot wind howled over the Shomali plains with a malevolence, making the camel-hide walls of the tent to snap and billow like something alive. The hanging oil lamp swung fitfully, making the shadows dance. The man seated on the fur-lined floor inside was stern and unmoving, his face something like carved stone, weary with the weight of a hundred battles and scars they brought with them, victory or defeat. He was a foreigner to this land, a man of the great marble-hewn cities of the mighty western sea. His head was clean-shaven, and his cheeks covered in a day or two’s growth of stubbly beard. That he was lean and well-muscled was obvious even in the billowing shemagh robes of the desert nomads, and his hob-nailed sandals were worn with the untold miles they had trod.

A good opening generally but some small improvements could make it much better. Terminating the first clause after malevolence jarred my reading sense a little (not a good thing). I'm left thinking it should have continued, maybe to read something like: The hot wind howled over the Shomali plains with a malevolence seldom seen or (more graphically) The hot wind howled over the Shomali plains with the malevolence of a thousand evil spirits.

'Causing' is a much better word than 'making' at the beginning of the next part of your sentence. Making..to may be an Americanism (?) but it should probably be left out of literature that is not set in modern America.

The first three sentences, though good, all start with the same word and one of them - to my ear at least - needs to go. Merging the second and third sentence together might work best.

weary with the weight of a hundred battles and scars they brought with them, victory or defeat is confusing and needs reworking.

stubbly beard can probably just be stubble.

Try to describe the appearance more from within the context of action - in other words justify the need for the description - rather than just stating it directly.

For example your final sentence could have noted how his robe billowed (though try another word as the tent was already billowing) and then given an excuse to mention his well-muscled and lean body. Maybe he could have trod on something or stepped over something to justify the author telling the reader the appearance of his footwear.

Sorry I just have time to look at this first part. I hope I did not sound too critical. I'm not shy in saying that you have written some of the best writing I've seen on these forums.