Bad Movies

[Hepcat]

Well I have a friend who's dad collects videos and dvds from ANYWHERE! And almost any video or dvd he can get his hands on. They have enough videos in their how to start up a video store. They don't have a tv aerial since they have brought so many videos and dvds they don't need to and they also don't have to watch ads.

Anyway so I often borrow videos off them and one of them that I was told I should watch because it's so cheesy is Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

I had to watch it in 2 sittings because I just got sick of it. I actually didn't watch tv for a week after watching half an hour of it then finally I decided I had better finish watching it just so I can say I had done it.

The second one which is the worst film they'd ever seen and said it wasn't worth wasting the 2 hours of your life to watch was called Howard the Duck. But of course curiosity got the better of me and after half an hour of hearing them complain I decided (stupidly) to take it since I couldn't understand how something could be any worse than Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

It wasn't as bad in my opinion as AotKT but I admit that I regret wasting my life watching it.

So if anyone ever offers to lend you these two films RUN!

[edyzmedieval]

Napoleon Dynamite is a waste of time. I can never get back those 2 hours I've wasted.

Also, The Ladykillers. HORRIBLE. WIth Tom Hanks, but it was an incredibly bad movie. No plot, no dialogue, no nothing.

[Gregoshi]

I think some of you don't really know what a bad movie is. I can see were many of the above mentioned movies would be in the "I didn't like that at all" category, but I find it hard to believe they fall into the "bad". From Bijo's first post:

...this thread is only about bad movies. And I mean REALLY bad movies. B-movies and lower than that, that you've seen or know of. Movies of which you might think they shouldn't even be in existence. Or movies you haven't seen (yet), but know they're worthless because you've seen the front poster (and it says a lot about them).

Surely we can do worse than The Hulk, Spiderman, 300, etc...

Another movie that stinks up my bad movie list is a turd called Sorceress from 1982 - a fantasy film trying to cash in on the Dungeons & Dragons craze of the time. It starred Playboy playmate twins in the leading roles. Now, you'd think this in itself would give the movie a couple of pair of redeeming points, but you'd be sadly mistaken. The movie opens with an exciting horseback chase scene. All is well until, about 10 seconds into the movie, the first actor opens his mouth and delivers a line worse than most 8 year olds could do. My buddies and I immediately looked at each other and mouthed "Oh no!" To backup my claim, here is another reviewer's opening comments to a review on this movie (from IMDB.com link above):

I initially purchased this movie, along with two others, in a used bookstore's `Our Owner Is Dead Sale,' for the hefty price of one dollar. One must beg the question, of whether perhaps I got ripped off.

Sorceress is bad. Astronomically bad. Not the kind of bad that we're used to. No, not mediocre Hollywood bad. It's so bad, it's almost a religious experience.

[Bijo]

That's what I mean yeah :) The REALLY bad ones.



Here's another: Barb Wire.
This movie is just plain rubbish. Pamela Anderson's bad acting, and the bad story, etc., and her big boobs are in it only to show off and distract from the bad quality picture it actually is


-Any Beatles film ever made is BAD QUALITY. I mean-- it's just-- just... I mean it's..... arrrrgh! They were good music people, but they were lousy actors and those scripts were so cheap and inferior, even.... eh... EVEN UWE BOLL COULD MAKE A BETTER PICTURE.


-Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!



-3 Ninjas
This is just rubbish. No!! It's rubbish -10. Actually, if you multiply the value of this movie by 20 the outcome is -40 000.

-You Got Served
Arrrrgh!


-Any cheap comedy with bad actors

[edyzmedieval]

What's wrong with You Got Served?

[Bijo]

What's wrong with You Got Served?

Do you even need to ask?!

[edyzmedieval]

Yes, because I enjoyed it. Not an extremely awesome super duper movie, but enjoyable at least...

[sapi]

What's wrong with You Got Served?

Mental Institution's down the street, eddy.

Seriously, that has to qualify as the worst movie* that I have ever seen. No plot, no acting, no hope. Pathetic.

*I hesitiate to use the term 'movie' here, as You got Served honestly doesn't deserve it.

If you ever consider seeing it, or your friends do, or even your children - do all of you a favour, and reach for the 4b2

[Blodrast]

That's what I mean yeah :) The REALLY bad ones.

Here's another: Barb Wire.
This movie is just plain rubbish. Pamela Anderson's bad acting, and the bad story, etc., and her big boobs are in it only to show off and distract from the bad quality picture it actually is

You got it all wrong, the boobies ARE the movie - the *rest* is just filling, 'cause they couldn't just show a close-up of her boobies for 90 minutes... Uhm, actually...

[R'as al Ghul]

Signs with Mel Gibson.

[mightilyoats]

Dead or Alive. It is a completely shallow look alike of the Mortal Combat series (And I am guessing it is also based on a game).

Admittedly it features some pretty women in skimpy outfits, but it also features:
- Bad acting
- Bad fighting scenes
- A hastily slapped together story line...

It reminded me of shows like baywatch where the creators try to get away with casting a bunch of uber sexy people and not much else.

[HoreTore]

Sin City. The only movie I've ever thought about walking out of the movie theater.

It was just plain bad.

[Conradus]

Are you kidding? I thought Sin City was one of the best movies I've ever seen.

Some movies I wouldn't want to see again: 'Or, mon trésor' and 'Le fils'
Three hours of darkness, without the smallest ray of sunlight.

[Dutch_guy]

Sin City. The only movie I've ever thought about walking out of the movie theater.

It was just plain bad.

That may be your opinion, but was it really K v C bad ?

[Kralizec]

I thought Titus was pretty good too.

I thought of mentioning Street Fighter myself, but it was the only one I could think of at that moment...

I picked up Miami Vice as a bargain DVD a couple of days ago. I didn't know what to expect of it, but I liked the old TV series, so there you go. Watched it with a friend yesterday, well...they probably could have made it even worse, but that would have taken some effort

The fact that Colin Farrell reminded me off that guy in Dodgeball didn't help.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

School of Rock. 'nuff said.

[Magraev]

School of Rock. 'nuff said.

That is a fine film, surely not in the same (low) league as some of the more crappy ones mentioned above! And to mention Sin City here is a sin in itself...

Maybe the problem is that some of us old timers remember some truly awful 80's movies that put modern crappyness to shame.. Now that I think about it Mad Max 1 was quite poor, even though it made Mel Gibsons career.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

School of Rock. 'nuff said.

That's a fantastic movie.

[HoreTore]

That may be your opinion, but was it really K v C bad ?

IMO it was just as bad, but with more money. If K v C had a budget in the 100 mill region, it would be like Sin City.

Oh, and another extremely bad movie, The 13th Warrior. The fighting stuff aint that bad, but the storyline as well as some of the acting is just horrible. Oh, and the "Viking" girls at the start is supposed to be speaking the native tongue... But they speak norwegian, more specifically, they speak the dialect of western oslo... Which you can compare to the english of the nobility/upper class...

[doc_bean]

Weird science isn't that bad. It's in the same genre as American Pie and related and other coming of age and trying to be funny movies. In a crappy genre it certainly doesn't stick out.

[doc_bean]

Argh, double post

[HoreTore]

OK, I just saw truly HORRIBLE movie last night. Or at least, I saw the first ten minutes, and decided to quit, instead of watching on and having to pluck out my eyes afterwards.

The movie was The Three Musketeers, starring Charlie Sheen as Aramis, Kiefer Sutherland as Athos(!), Oliver Platt as Porthos and Chris O'Donnell as d'Artagnan. If that didn't scare you, read on....

The movie starts with "Captain" Rochefort(damn yanks, can't understand titles), disbanding the musketeers. Oh yes, cardinal Richeliou is a complete bad guy, and seeks complete power of France. Next, we see Richeliou arguing with King Lious XIII, portrayed as a child! He was around 30 at the time, and looks like a 14-year old!! After that, we see d'Artagnan on the way to Paris, and gets into a fight. But not with Rochefort at an inn, instead he assaults the queens 2 bodyguards when they are out riding, as he thinks they are bandits trying to rob 2 ladies. Apparently, queens at the time liked riding around with protection one man could kill.. But that's not all, Madame Bonaciuex turns out to be the queens guard. Next, we see the cardinals guards trying to arrest Aramis, Athos and Porthos, as they refused to hand in their swords. They argue a little with Rochefort, and informs us that Rochefort once was a musketeer himself, but was discharged due to bad behavior... Oh yes, did I mention that Rochefort wears an eyepatch? And I always thought he had a scar... After that, we see d'Artagnan in his duel. They are interrupted by the cardinals guards, and they decide to fight them. They kill the first guards, however, a new group comes, and they now decide to flee, except d'Artagnan, who attacks Rochefort, but fails and is arrested and put in the bastille. He manages to escape from his cell, and overhears a conversation between Richeliou and Mylady. I quit watching this movie when Richeliou started hitting on her...

One has to wonder, did they even read the book? The only thing here in common, are the characters names.... The Cast is horrible, Kiefer Sutherland as Athos is, well, blasphemy. The guy playing Rochefort is good though, he actually looks like a french noble of the time. Except his eyepatch.

EDIT: I read a comment on IMDB about this movie, and it summarizes it very well:

"What they've done is the equivalent of turning James Bond into a teetotaler who abhors violence and respects women for their personality."

[Fragony]

Sin City. The only movie I've ever thought about walking out of the movie theater.

It was just plain bad.

Yeah, it wants to be cult, it fails miserably. Leave cult to the small productions, it just tries to hard.

[Abokasee]

I Don't wacth films, I play on the PC and Wacth internet Animation and YouTube (Search for Thomous the tank engine vs 50 Cent )

[Lemur]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned Trog, which features Joan Crawford and a man in a cheap ape mask. I have video to prove it.

"This is blue ... blue ... blue ..."

"Trog!!!"

It also features a long, long speech by Ms. Crawford about Darwin's theory. If that isn't weird enough for you, nothing is.

[Shaka_Khan]

I don't like horror films unless it's science fiction. They're not written badly, but I don't like to see people suffering. At least in movies like Aliens, the characters have a chance to defend themselves.

[Fragony]

I don't like horror films unless it's science fiction. They're not written badly, but I don't like to see people suffering. At least in movies like Aliens, the characters have a chance to defend themselves.

Can't stand sadism for the sake of sadism. Movies like Hostel, nono. Sick bah. Don't mind violence but it has to serve a purpose.

[doc_bean]

Can't stand sadism for the sake of sadism. Movies like Hostel, nono. Sick bah. Don't mind violence but it has to serve a purpose.

Hostel wasn't too bad. For true sadism you have to look to the oriental cinema. Ichi the Killer or Ebola Syndrome, now those are cruel movies...