Well, I'm totally drowning in it now... again I just don't know how the **** I should go on. I have some syntax knowledge and principle understandings from many prog languages if I sum it all up from back then until now, but I can't do jack with it! If I read another book or tutorial that goes over the basics again, the syntax, pointers, types, etc., I'm gonna go CRAZY.

That's what I mean: following it step by step and easy with some guide is comfortable, but you can't do jack, so it becomes uncomfortable. And then to actually start something thinking you will learn by doing, it doesn't go. Means I go back to conventional learning with a book, but find out once again I can't do jack.... rinse and repeat