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Thread: Just a quick friendly reminder...

  1. #1
    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Camels stink.



    (man I love that pic )

    Also, friends don't let friends drive camels. Ever.

    This message brought to you by D.A.R.E., Dromedarys Are Really Explosive, a watchdog group dedicated to bringing awareness about the extreme dangers of camel usage due to methane emissions.

    Be Safe. Be aware. Camels are everywhere!


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    Guardian of the Fleet Senior Member Shahed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Lol !
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    Minion of Zoltan Member Roark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Camels: when you absolutely, positively have to freak out expensive enemy cavalry!

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    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Moderators : 2

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    Someone is looking for teh .


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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir
    Someone is looking for teh .
    Ye though I charge through the subforum of the guild of heresy, I shall fear no Mods. For my artillery art with me. My arquebus and musket, they comfort me.


    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    I dunno, I've never had camels stop me.


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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Maloncanth, that screenshot is a thing of beauty.

    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
    that which is his due."
    - Justinian I

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    Camel Lord Senior Member Capture The Flag Champion Martok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Clearly, Whacker hasn't spent enough time cleaning the stables lately; looks like we'll have to rectify that straight away.

    I've assigned Cambyses II as your overseer. If you ask him *real* nicely, he might even give you a small trowel to use instead of just your bare hands.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roark
    Camels: when you absolutely, positively have to freak out expensive enemy cavalry!
    "MTW is not a game, it's a way of life." -- drone

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    Sir Loin of Lamb Member General Dazza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Maloncanth
    I dunno, I've never had camels stop me.
    In my crusader states campaign the enemy's camels can't even get near me. My Turcopoles have them spinning in ever diminshing circles until my mounted sergeants and knights templar move in to make with the hammer and anvil.

    In the second battle of Odessa my king sat on a hill overlooking the slaughter. "Men," he yelled to his expectant knights, "I tell you that these bedouin camels are are like young men at a dance - so busy trying to organise their stupid feet that they forget to engage the enemy!"

  10. #10

    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    An army of (cheap) Camels emerges like a mirage from the wind swirls and sandy hills and preys upon the exhausted (and expensive) Franks; bathing in their diminishing sweat, hotcheeked and ultimately a laughing stock in their tin can armour, they fall to their deaths by the firm hand of the Bedouin that hits fast like the desert lightning mounted on its sturdy, prudent and steady beast that knows no tiredness, no thirst, no fear.

    May the Christian God show some mercy on them in the afterlife - for Salahadin will show none in this.

    Noir
    Last edited by Noir; 05-11-2007 at 02:27.

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    Sir Loin of Lamb Member General Dazza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Noir
    An army of (cheap) Camels emerges like a mirage from the wind swirls and sandy hills and preys upon the exhausted (and expensive) Franks; bathing in their diminishing sweat, hotcheeked and ultimately a laughing stock in their tin can armour, they fall to their deaths by the firm hand of the Bedouin that hits fast like the desert lightning mounted on its sturdy, prudent and steady beast that knows no tiredness, no thirst, no fear.

    May the Christian God show some mercy on them in the afterlife - for Salahadin will show none in this.

    Noir
    Nice Noir!

    But then, it's all in the prespective...

    An army of cheap Camels lurches like a mirage, all windy smells and bandy legs and prays to the assorted (and expensive) Franks; berating the dimwitted, sweaty, pox-cheeked foe, ultimately a laughing starts amongst the dinkum armour, before they call to their deaths the infirm band of the Bedouin that *hits itself fast in the desert like lightning, mounted on its dirty, imprudent and smelly beast that knows no tiredness for dirt and fear.

    May the Christian God show some mercy on them in the afterlife - for Salahadin will show none for this.


  12. #12
    Minion of Zoltan Member Roark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...



    But seriously...

    Camels own. Period.

    Allah-hu Akhbar!!

  13. #13

    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok
    I've assigned Cambyses II as your overseer. If you ask him *real* nicely, he might even give you a small trowel to use instead of just your bare hands.
    The last "men" you sent me have now died from exhaustion so... just in time. As to the trowel, I'm not sure about that... I think the special 1" scraper with "and you thought camels stank?" engraved on the handle might be more fitting. I may also allow him a fly swatter, not that it will help a lot.

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    Second-hand chariot salesman Senior Member macsen rufus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    I think the special 1" scraper with "and you thought camels stank?" engraved on the handle might be more fitting. I may also allow him a fly swatter, not that it will help a lot.
    Too generous, I think chopsticks would be more fitting....
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    Clan Takiyama Senior Member R'as al Ghul's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    It's time again:



    Who said Camels stink? I can smell only Gunpowder....

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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok
    Clearly, Whacker hasn't spent enough time cleaning the stables lately; looks like we'll have to rectify that straight away.

    I've assigned Cambyses II as your overseer. If you ask him *real* nicely, he might even give you a small trowel to use instead of just your bare hands.
    But But but but but!!!!

    An army of cheap Camels lurches like a mirage, all windy smells and bandy legs and prays to the assorted (and expensive) Franks; berating the dimwitted, sweaty, pox-cheeked foe, ultimately a laughing starts amongst the dinkum armour, before they call to their deaths the infirm band of the Bedouin that *hits itself fast in the desert like lightning, mounted on its dirty, imprudent and smelly beast that knows no tiredness for dirt and fear.

    May the Christian God show some mercy on them in the afterlife - for Salahadin will show none for this.

    Muaahhaah!!! That's what my special all-purpose amphibious extra-omgwtflole high-accuracy trebuchets are designed for! Whacker's Amphibious Trebuchets©! When you absolutely, positive, have to kill every camel on the battlefield!

    It's time again:

    *hilarious pic)

    Who said Camels stink? I can smell only Gunpowder....
    I love that pic! You know the thing that always comes to mind when I see that. Remember Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? When they just escaped the zeppelin and Sean Connery was in the back shooting at the FW-109s? And he hoses up the tailplane assembly? Tilt the gun in that pic down about 33 degrees....

    "I'm sorry Saladin! They got us!"

    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
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    - Justinian I

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    Member Member Vytautas Lietuva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Heh, I remember when I spread my hobilars out into a 1-horse thin formation, and charged down at some stationary Bedouin camels. It was the best damn charge I ever saw, really.

    The only reason your cavalry haven't been flogged by camels is because you don't know how to use them correctly, period.
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    King of Randomness Member nara shikamaru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    This is a very interesting thread, but I don't like horses more then camels and vice versa. This is because if i can have both on a field, and work in tandem perfectly together, then the enemy is sunk.

    One tactic i remember trying was the battle for Jerusalem as the French, it was a crusade, and before the crusade moved out i bought some merc Bedouins, at least i think they were. I had about 3-5 camels with me along with alot of hobilars and I got me 4 Knights templar, and various other foot units equalling about 5500 men, compared to the Turkish 2000 or so waiting. Well I found one thing worked, the Sultan's 1st wave was mostly horse units, Turcoples, and the such, and well I had all the camels out 1st, I had them charge at the enemy horses, who surprisingly broke formation, before impact. I then sent some Hobilars, and the 2 of the templar units around the enemy and did a pincer of sorts.

    It was a great victory, my camels helped to disrupt the enemy units, and my other cav and inf came in to get them in the classic hammer and anvil. One other surprise is, of the bedoiun mercs i had, i lost more from desertion then to the actual battles to take and hold Jerusalem.

    Point to the mini story? Don't knock a unit that can make the enemy run in terror. Also the greater point, all units are great, and deserve reverence, even a unit of urban militia can spell the difference between defeat, and victory.
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    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by nara shikamaru
    Also the greater point, all units are great, and deserve reverence, even a unit of urban militia can spell the difference between defeat, and victory.
    I would like to heartily disagree with that statement. Peasants have NEVER been a momentum shifter for me. I mean really, is there a unit in the game they can beat? I've gone and beaten 1,700 peasants with a mere 320 men in battles for some of those Russian provinces. In fact, it wasn't even a real battle. It was a total laugher, I lost about 18 soldiers to their 800. The rest of the peasant fled in fear before I could even get a chance to fight them! Not to mention, I've had peasants route when they are flanking an enemy unit, because even when flanking they still get their butts kicked.
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  20. #20

    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    The stats for peasants are c 4/a -2/d -4/a 1/m -2. This equates to a unit with a decidedly average charge and very poor everything else. There is simply no reason to commit peasants to battle in MTW - but the AI seems to think otherwise. The only solution IMHO is to mod them out of the game. I have played MTW with peasants modded out for years and could never go back to fighting battles against peasants again. In my games peasants only appear occasionally in rebellions and not otherwise.

    When it comes down to it even vanilla archers (c 1/a -1/d -2/a 1/m -1) can beat peasants in melee. The peasants may get a few kills in on the charge, but after that it's in the archers' favour.

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    Master of useless knowledge Senior Member Kitten Shooting Champion, Eskiv Champion Ironside's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a quick friendly reminder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cambyses II
    The stats for peasants are c 4/a -2/d -4/a 1/m -2. This equates to a unit with a decidedly average charge and very poor everything else. There is simply no reason to commit peasants to battle in MTW - but the AI seems to think otherwise. The only solution IMHO is to mod them out of the game. I have played MTW with peasants modded out for years and could never go back to fighting battles against peasants again. In my games peasants only appear occasionally in rebellions and not otherwise.

    When it comes down to it even vanilla archers (c 1/a -1/d -2/a 1/m -1) can beat peasants in melee. The peasants may get a few kills in on the charge, but after that it's in the archers' favour.
    Adding in the muster field from VI works quite well to.

    The weakest unit that still got a use is thralls imho. Peasants with spear and shields can take archer fire and cav charges without a slaughter. They still operate as a speedbump but a somewhat working one.

    Did lose a 4k vs 800 men battle of peasants and UM (jihad remains for fun) vs mostly steppe cav. While the UM did ok, all the peasants did rout at enemy contact.
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