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Thread: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Exclamation Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Or so says some new research from Johns Hopkins. The more partners you orally pleasure, so they claim, the greater your chance for cancer of the throat or mouth. That pesky HPV virus is to blame. Looks as though everybody may need to be vaccinated someday.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Oral sex could be more dangerous than cigars

    Looks bad for Clinton either way

    By Lewis Page, Published Thursday 10th May 2007 14:09 GMT

    Painstaking academic research indicates that promiscuous oral sex can carry a higher risk of throat cancer than smoking or boozing.

    A report based on a hospital study of 100 oropharyngeal cancer sufferers and 200 controls, carried out by Johns Hopkins scientists, appeared today in the New England Journal of Medicine. In it, the splendidly-named Dr Gypsyamber D'Souza and her co-authors make some noteworthy conclusions.

    "A high lifetime number of vaginal-sex partners (26 or more) was associated with oropharyngeal cancer," the boffins wrote. It's hard to say what that really means in terms of rumpy-associated risk; but El Reg suggests that it does offer at least one piece of concrete info. Namely, that if you are a Johns Hopkins scientist, chances are you have done it with significantly less than 26 people.

    According to the scientists, oral sex is a vastly more dangerous business than plain-vanilla rogering, with just six or more partners required to increase the danger of throat cancer. Again it seemed that the Johns Hopkins crew had perhaps led relatively quiet lives, as they considered that half-a-dozen was a "high" final score.

    The increased multipartner-jigjig throat cancer risk was due to the likelihood of becoming infected with human papillomavirus (HPV), thought to be implicated in various kinds of cancer including the cervical variety.

    The study appeared to suggest that throat-cancer risks from booze and cigs were insignificant compared to those from getting too frisky. Of course, that doesn't mean that drink and baccy are safer than the other things you might - in this context - put in your mouth. Oral sex doesn't (as far we as we know) cause liver failure or lung cancer. So don't log off that swingers' site and rush out for a sixpack or 20 Bensons just yet.

    On the face of it, however, this really is excellent news for cigar fanciers, who seldom breathe the fumes of their chosen weed into their lungs and so avoid many of the risks faced by aficionados of the smaller, more economical paper-wrapped smoke. One of cigar-lovers' primary risks is that of cancer in the throat or mouth; and it now appears that this danger is actually insignificant.

    Of course, certain circumstances leap to mind in which this might not be true. It seems possible that former US President Bill Clinton may be reading the New England Journal of Medicine with close attention this afternoon.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

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    Στωικισμός Member Bijo's Avatar
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    Default AW: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Grrr, so all these women I've-- ARRRRGH. And I even quit smoking months ago!
    Emotion, passions, and desires are, thus peace is not.
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriends now ;)
    Common Unreflected Drinking Only Smartens

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    Jillian & Allison's Daddy Senior Member Don Corleone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Before I fire off the witty quip I had in mind, I need to remember that Prole's back from Australia and surfing along.

    I don't know what any of you are worried about. Somehow, I doubt any computer geeks hanging around a gaming forum are going to rack up 26 target-acquisitions in their lifetime. Oh wait, there is Beirut... uh dude, time to find out just how good that amazing Canadian health-care system really is...
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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Sjakihata
    I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriends now ;)
    I trust you were a gentleman and returned all favors. If not, I really do feel sorry or your girlfriends.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

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    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: AW: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?

    Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.
    Last edited by Big King Sanctaphrax; 05-10-2007 at 16:30.
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    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Well, this is a blow.

    HAH. Beat Greg to it, yippeee
    "The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that Navaros is claiming that Satan gave Man meat. Awesome." Gorebag

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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: AW: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?
    Here's the full paper, perhaps you'll find more helpful info.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

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    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by English assassin
    HAH. Beat Greg to it, yippeee
    Well, I saw this thread before anyone had posted in it and decided to walk away. Too many sex based threads have me punning in the gutter lately. I'm feeling like a dirty old man. Gotta clean up my act a little and get, you know, respectable-like and all.

    Besides, I agree with BKS, the article is blowin' smoke...

    I am pathetic.
    This space intentionally left blank

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    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Very good, now there's a bigger market for full-body covering rubber overalls

    Can't say I'm surprised - the HPV virus is quite common these days and a safe method of acquiring it, if you wish to, is through practising oral sex.
    Under construction...

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    Hand Bacon Member ShadeHonestus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    We need to nip this press release in the bud!

    If there was ever a reason to appoint an official Orgah proganda minister to control such things...this is it!
    "There is a true glory and a true honor; the glory in duty done and the honor in the integrity of principle."

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    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    If we stop all sexual contact now we can wipe out such health problems as this in one generation.
    "The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom.” -- Milton Friedman

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    Hand Bacon Member ShadeHonestus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Well lets start with my daughter's generation, she's never going to be allowed intercourse anyways.
    "There is a true glory and a true honor; the glory in duty done and the honor in the integrity of principle."

    "The truth is this; the march of Providence so long, that of the individual so brief, that we often only see the ebb of the advancing wave. It is history which teaches us to hope."

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    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: AW: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.
    Hahahahaha



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    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Looks bad for Clinton either way
    So they do have a sense of humor
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    Have you just been dumped?

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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: AW: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?

    Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.
    Nominated for post of the week, possibly month.

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    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Smells fishy to me....
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito
    Smells fishy to me....
    There's no need to 'piss' and 'moan' about it though!!!




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    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    I'm dead.

    They were all women, though, I swear on it.
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Sucky news like this is kinda hard to swallow.....

  21. #21

    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    I trust you were a gentleman and returned all favors. If not, I really do feel sorry or your girlfriends.

    Hahahahaha! Hahaha...oh, that's good.

    ...ahahahaha.

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    Member Member Alexander the Pretty Good's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer



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