Divorce

[JimBob]

I blame Hollywood, in all seriousness I do. TV and movies give us this picture of love and marriage. Two unhappy people, they meet, stare into each others eyes, fall in love, complete each other, and live happily ever after. When people's relationships don't play like Sleepless in Seattle people give up on them. How to change it I don't know.

[Lemur]

When people's relationships don't play like Sleepless in Seattle people give up on them. How to change it I don't know.

You could just as validly blame every fairy tale story in which the prince and the princess "lived happily ever after."

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I honestly don't understand why anyone gets married anyway. Only about 50-50 that you're not going to get divorced, huge acrimony if you do, the possibility you'll get seriously ripped off by divorce settlements, all for a few tax breaks.

What's the point?

[The Spartan (Returns)]

I honestly don't understand why anyone gets married anyway. Only about 50-50 that you're not going to get divorced, huge acrimony if you do, the possibility you'll get seriously ripped off by divorce settlements, all for a few tax breaks.

What's the point?

some people may not want to have sex until marriage, you pass down your bloodline (if you have a son), etc. i like the idea of waking up every day to the hottest woman ever.

i'm fanatically against divorce. when you marry a woman you are both one, to divorce is to seperate the two which is what God never intended. divorcing with kids, and then marry another woman creates huge problems.. etc. my religion kicks in.

so choose the right one and dont divorce!!

[rotorgun]

After twenty-one years of marriage to my first (and only) wife, and believe me that we have had our share of woes, I still can't think of living without her. Ever watch a good team of horses pulling a load? Sometimes one pulls more than the other, sometimes both pull together. Marriage is always best when both are pulling thier end of the load. (Men especially take note) I have seen many a good mariage go south because the husband gives up. It is hard work and takes guts and staying power. The best answer to the question of wether or not to divorce is "Love her more." Love is an action verb men. Let your actions speak as loudly as your words.

I believe that our over-reliance on materializm is a great factor in today's divorce rate. Keepin' up with the Jonses and trying to get instant gratification make poor bedfellows with marriage. If people would concentrate more on living each day as it comes, and giving to each other instead of taking so much, than divorce would be only for what it was meant for- a means of getting out of a marriage to an adulterous partner or an abusive one.

[Lemur]

After giving landsharks their proper due: how does the Lemur rank divorce vs out of wedlock births (where there was no marriage from the get go) and the social impact?

I don't mean to be overly dismissive of landsharks—they are dangerous and ornery beasts—but I believe they pose more of a threat to life and limb than to marriage in particular.

Out of wedlock births, much like divorce, depend heavily on context, but on the whole I don't think they're net positive.

Examples:

• A woman leaves a physically abusive man and files for divorce. This is justified.
• A man leaves his wife 'cause the spark is gone, and he misses the newness of love. This is morally bankrupt and indefensible.

• A woman has a baby who will never know its father. To boot, she has trouble making ends meet, and has no real support system with her family. This is very bad news for the kid.
• A woman has a baby with the man she loves and lives with, but they choose not to marry. They have enough money and fortitude to raise the kid, and they have a good relationship with their extended family. This is very good news for the kid, and I have no real argument if someone wants to go this route. (Although I think a formal marriage bond is a good idea.)

It's all terribly context-dependent. Anything sane that promotes stable, healthy family units is net positive. Anything that encourages men and women to abandon their responsibilities/mates/families is a net negative. Single parenting is not an activity I would wish on my worst enemy.

Does this even begin to answer your question, or am I off rambling down a country lane talking gibberish?

The best answer to the question of wether or not to divorce is "Love her more." Love is an action verb men. Let your actions speak as loudly as your words.

Amen to that, brother.

[Pindar]

Does this even begin to answer your question, or am I off rambling down a country lane talking gibberish?

My question was meant to contrast the societal impact of divorce vs. single parent families.

[Beirut]

I honestly don't understand why anyone gets married anyway. Only about 50-50 that you're not going to get divorced, huge acrimony if you do, the possibility you'll get seriously ripped off by divorce settlements, all for a few tax breaks.

What's the point?

Says the guy who's going to pull in 100K+ a year when he graduates and doesn't want to have to share it with da broads except one expensive dinner and hotel suite at a time.

(God, how I envy you.)

[Cronos Impera]

Well, King Henry's divorce was just a pretext for the emerging Anglican Church. He was forced to divorce by the more radical priesthood.And heads did fall later on, including the hotter spouse you're talking about.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

(I have some sympathy with ending no fault divorce provided divorce does not then become even more of a legal gravy train than it it)

Wouldn't getting rid of no-fault divorce just result in people perjuring themselves in order to show fault? If people want to get divorced, it seems to me they're going to, so you might as well try to preserve the integrity of the legal system.

[Ser Clegane]

Wouldn't getting rid of no-fault divorce just result in people perjuring themselves in order to show fault?

I think that was actually a main reason to introduce no-fault divorce here in Germany - to avoid all the mud-slinging (that was really great for the children) around determining who's fault the failure was.
Apart from that blaming the failure on just one of the two partners often does not really make that much sense.