Divorce

[Lemur]

After giving landsharks their proper due: how does the Lemur rank divorce vs out of wedlock births (where there was no marriage from the get go) and the social impact?

I don't mean to be overly dismissive of landsharks—they are dangerous and ornery beasts—but I believe they pose more of a threat to life and limb than to marriage in particular.

Out of wedlock births, much like divorce, depend heavily on context, but on the whole I don't think they're net positive.

Examples:

• A woman leaves a physically abusive man and files for divorce. This is justified.
• A man leaves his wife 'cause the spark is gone, and he misses the newness of love. This is morally bankrupt and indefensible.

• A woman has a baby who will never know its father. To boot, she has trouble making ends meet, and has no real support system with her family. This is very bad news for the kid.
• A woman has a baby with the man she loves and lives with, but they choose not to marry. They have enough money and fortitude to raise the kid, and they have a good relationship with their extended family. This is very good news for the kid, and I have no real argument if someone wants to go this route. (Although I think a formal marriage bond is a good idea.)

It's all terribly context-dependent. Anything sane that promotes stable, healthy family units is net positive. Anything that encourages men and women to abandon their responsibilities/mates/families is a net negative. Single parenting is not an activity I would wish on my worst enemy.

Does this even begin to answer your question, or am I off rambling down a country lane talking gibberish?

The best answer to the question of wether or not to divorce is "Love her more." Love is an action verb men. Let your actions speak as loudly as your words.

Amen to that, brother.