In an effort to increase depression and misery, the Bush administration frequently causes many of the rainy days the average, powerless citizen is forced to endure. Why? Because Big Phrama is having a hard time making profits these days, and they need more cash. So they've raised the price of their anti-depressants and other 'feel-good' drugs. With depression and spoiled parades/weddings/picnics shooting up across the country, people are flocking to anti-depressants in record numbers, making George Bush's corporate overlords very wealthy indeed. How has the Bush administration done this? Darth Cheney has instructed his evil mistress, Gayle Norton, secretary of the Interior department, to use his top secret 'bad weather machine' (the same one he used to create Hurricane Katrina to kill black voters in New Orleans) on days when there a particularly high number of weddings, picnics and other events. Official denials from the White House of this nefarious plot were predictable, and frankly, only serve to confirm that which we who are brave enough to think for ourselves already know.
MAKE BUSH AND CHENEY STOP RAINY DAYS!!! NO CANCELLED WEDDINGS FOR BIG PHARMA!!!
* The preceeding has been one man's attempt at satire.
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