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  1. #1
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    BKS is correct for very formal occasions such as Her Majesty's Garden Parties, but this is not the occasion.

    Hats are no longer required for ladies in Her Majesty's presence, nor gloves. Indeed, over-dressing on a less formal occasion is seen as terribly middle-class and non-U.

    Smart attire appropriate for the occasion is the way (if outdoors, welly-boots and smock may be too casual, though the Duchess of Devonshire is famous for her disregard in this matter, and your mother wouldn't want to get mistaken for her, trust me).

    If your mother likes hats and wears them well, a low-key choice may be appropriate. I would advise to avoid however, as she will appear arriviste.

    As econ21 noted, a good guide is that she should dress in the manner she might adopt if the president were coming to dinner or a outdoor event, but not over-dress. Garish colours are not a good idea, of course.

    If she is introduced to Her Majesty, it is permissible these days for women to make a small bow from the neck rather than curtsey. The latter is an acquired skill that can make one self-conscious and look foolish in a stressful situation. Best to bow, take the hand if offered (rare) smile and answer questions if posed. Speak only if spoken too. Her Majesty is extraordinarily good at putting people at their ease, so don't worry. Smile and enjoy. Do not ask for an autograph.

    The rules are very much more relaxed than they used to be. Your mother should not worry unduly.

    econ21, Helen Mirren's portrayal of the Queen was damn near spot on. I've been hunting at Balmoral and the picnics portrayed are just right. Lady Ghost was appalled that Her Majesty served herself sandwiches etc, but then she's foreign and the Russian aristocracy are big on servants.

    If the invitation does mention dress code, feel free to come back to us (or PM) with details and we can advise.
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  2. #2
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    I think you can relax Don.

    According to the Court Diary, Her Majesty is not due to visit Cumbria this week.

    It will be the Duchess of Cornwall. So same rules apply, but she's not Queen yet, and don't call her "Your Majesty".

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    Jillian & Allison's Daddy Senior Member Don Corleone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    You guys are the best. It sounds like my mom is fine, because she's actually wearing the dress she wore when she took Laura on a tour of my Dad's shipyard. Shame that Her Majesty won't actually be there, especially now that we know the hat is not required, but c'est la vie. If you don't mind my asking, how does one address the Duchess of Cornwall? Your Highness? And when you say same rules apply, is the curtsey still 'required'? How about the 'no speaking unless spoken to' part?

    If anybody wants a laugh, I'll give the story of yours truly (along with Mrs. Corleone) going on a mad dash around what few stores we have in the greater Portsmouth area looking for ladies hats. I think a couple of the sales ladies actually thought I was being coy and wanted them for my 'routine', at least until Mrs. C and Jillian arrived on the scene.
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    Viceroy of the Indian Empire Member Duke Malcolm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    "Your Highness" or "Ma'am" (mainly the latter) is acceptable. The same rules (no speaking unless spoken to, curtsey/bowing, et cetera) are also required.

    On a similar note, I'm off to meet the Duke in the Palace of Holyroodhouse to get my gold Duke of Edinburgh's Award in July. We've been given a dress code, though.
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    Voluntary Suspension Voluntary Suspension Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke Malcolm
    "Your Highness" or "Ma'am" (mainly the latter) is acceptable. The same rules (no speaking unless spoken to, curtsey/bowing, et cetera) are also required.

    On a similar note, I'm off to meet the Duke in the Palace of Holyroodhouse to get my gold Duke of Edinburgh's Award in July. We've been given a dress code, though.
    Congrats, never finished my Gold, final exped fell through, plus I did myself an injury on Dartmoor during the practice.

    Yeah, Pompey is grim, I think it just keeps getting worse. The harbour and the new shopping centre are okay though.
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  6. #6

    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    Right, Newby bridge is down at the southern tip of lake Windermere with Bowness on windermere and Windermere itself a mere 7 miles away from Newby Bridge. You will find a number of shops at Windermere and Bowness on Windermere such as Adini ladies fashion wear, Anna Rayna fashions and Anne Wilson ladies fashions plus the usual Dorothy Perkins high street shops etc. There should be plenty of choice.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    Royalty are well funny. They are like living antiques of the 18th Century in today's world. I respect them, but also find them amusing.
    I support Israel

  8. #8
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    Quote Originally Posted by Don Corleone
    You guys are the best. It sounds like my mom is fine, because she's actually wearing the dress she wore when she took Laura on a tour of my Dad's shipyard. Shame that Her Majesty won't actually be there, especially now that we know the hat is not required, but c'est la vie. If you don't mind my asking, how does one address the Duchess of Cornwall? Your Highness? And when you say same rules apply, is the curtsey still 'required'? How about the 'no speaking unless spoken to' part?
    The Duchess of Cornwall (I'm sure you know, but just in case, is Camilla, the wife of Prince Charles) and should be addressed in the first instance as "Your Royal Highness, and thenceforth as "Ma'am".

    The curtsey is still correct (but trust me, though etiquette still recommends it, it's not a manoeuvre one should attempt without practise) or that handshake is fine - but only if offered.

    When I note that one should only speak when spoken to, this makes it easier for all concerned. The Duchess is likely to have many people to meet and thus is unlikely to want to engage in sustained conversation. It makes life easier for all if one responds to questions, but does not question back - there are of course moments when it may be polite to do so, but mostly the Royal Family is skilled in posing questions that elicit short responses.

    So yes, if she asks, by all means respond, but don't expect to follow up with "Oh and did you see the Channel 4 documentary on Princess Diana?"
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
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  9. #9
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    On a similar note, I'm off to meet the Duke in the Palace of Holyroodhouse to get my gold Duke of Edinburgh's Award in July. We've been given a dress code, though.
    Don't forget the gyros.

    So yes, if she asks, by all means respond, but don't expect to follow up with "Oh and did you see the Channel 4 documentary on Princess Diana?"
    You naughty, naughty man.
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  10. #10
    Insomniac and tired of it Senior Member Slyspy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    Quote Originally Posted by Don Corleone
    You guys are the best. It sounds like my mom is fine, because she's actually wearing the dress she wore when she took Laura on a tour of my Dad's shipyard. Shame that Her Majesty won't actually be there, especially now that we know the hat is not required, but c'est la vie. If you don't mind my asking, how does one address the Duchess of Cornwall? Your Highness? And when you say same rules apply, is the curtsey still 'required'? How about the 'no speaking unless spoken to' part?

    If anybody wants a laugh, I'll give the story of yours truly (along with Mrs. Corleone) going on a mad dash around what few stores we have in the greater Portsmouth area looking for ladies hats. I think a couple of the sales ladies actually thought I was being coy and wanted them for my 'routine', at least until Mrs. C and Jillian arrived on the scene.
    I live near the orignal Portsmouth and have a similar problem finding ladies.

    And hats.

    Edit:

    Well done on the award Malcolm.
    Last edited by Slyspy; 06-07-2007 at 21:08.
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  11. #11
    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    If anybody wants a laugh, I'll give the story of yours truly (along with Mrs. Corleone) going on a mad dash around what few stores we have in the greater Portsmouth area looking for ladies hats.
    You would have had no more luck in the original Pompey. Its not just grim up north.

    Not knowing any better, I took the (at the time) future Mrs Assassin on our very first weekend away to Portsmouth.

    Lets just say I don't think Brighton need worry about losing its status as the traditional south coast venue of choice for a dirty weekend....
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  12. #12
    Insomniac and tired of it Senior Member Slyspy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help from British friends

    You don't get dirtier than Pompey. Or grubbier either. Still, if your idea of a romantic weekend is a visit to HMS Victory then go for it! We also have a great big tower which, on good days, offers views for miles around. That way you can see where you'd rather be!
    "Put 'em in blue coats, put 'em in red coats, the bastards will run all the same!"

    "The English are a strange people....They came here in the morning, looked at the wall, walked over it, killed the garrison and returned to breakfast. What can withstand them?"

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