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Thread: The Temple's Colouring Book

  1. #1
    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default The Temple's Colouring Book

    Poem. :p 'inspired' by the mention I got from a volunteer helping care for the homeless (Leamington Christian Mission) about people sending in childrens' colouring books with the pictures coloured in already to give to homeless children.

    Temple lit by moonlight, priest walks up the stair
    Lady at the window, face showing despair
    She looks pretty enough, 'Please pull up a chair.'
    Sympathetic eyes but he just doesn't care.

    Ragged child starving, the priest passes him by,
    Comforts shaken conscience with another lie
    Closes temple doors, and leaves the child to die
    'Please expire quietly, there's no need to cry.'

    Walks home, heart in silk purse, but drowning in sin
    Sees unhappy stranger, very tired and thin
    Knows at once his purpose, and greets with a grin
    Gives the temple's colouring book, already coloured in.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

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    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

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    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Another one, written in the boredom of waiting for exams to 'finish'. Written pretty much in the same style. Small fireworks-war comparison.

    Reflection (I)

    Grating sounds for garish faces, it gets old
    They spiral into deep night, die in the cold
    Their final bright explosions, radiant gold
    Burning out in night sky, for this they are sold

    Swallowed up by the night, open their hearts at height
    Unknown to man

    Crouches by the red stump, a match in his hand,
    Brushes fuse with flame, edges back in the sand
    Children scorn the clear night, all boring and bland,
    Powder touched, they go, they're all going as planned

    Going forth to excite, must make the evenings bright
    War known to man
    Last edited by Orb; 06-15-2007 at 11:48.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  4. #4
    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    A more general pointless one, with an execution theme. Again written waiting for the end of an exam.

    Mediocre Days

    Mediocre days, gone in a haze
    Open your eyes, open the lock
    Just try to lose time, still pantomime
    Sever all ties, shatter the clock

    Noone can refuse, blow out the fuse
    Escape this hall, escape the dark
    But all of the nights, electric lights
    Distantly call, destroy the spark

    The lead ceiling looms, in crowded tombs
    Beg for a friend, beg for release
    Just choking your life, twisted midwife
    Reveals the end, revels in peace.

    You can see the outside, more time to bide
    Wait 'til he says, wait for a sign
    The deadening air, electric chair
    Rotting for days, release is mine


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

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    Just your average Senior Member Warmaster Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Nice!
    The Throne Room: "Less a forum, more a way of life." Econ21
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    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    A very short romantic poem

    Lady of the Waves

    Lady of the waves, rising from the sea
    My lady of the waves, turn your eyes to me.
    Never let the cloud return again to this bright heart,
    Never let the shroud of a widow hide your face,
    Never let the moon over England see us part,
    Never let the tune of soft sobbing take your grace.

    Lady of the waves, I hear tapping feet
    My lady of the waves, your rhythm so complete
    Always let the words of Sinatra show the way
    Always let the birds in the morning sing above
    Always let the skies shelter, loneliness decay
    Always let the eyes of my lady tell our love
    Last edited by Orb; 06-18-2007 at 21:18.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Updated to my satisfaction.

    Seeing if my significant other likes it...
    Last edited by Orb; 06-17-2007 at 21:23.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  8. #8
    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Indeed she does :) Orb is t3h lucky :)

    Reflection (II)

    Stars in the night sky, the fish in the sea
    In the middle of deserts, lonely as can be
    Run for some shelter, fleeing from the sun
    My spotlight's lightless, but he's having fun

    Imitations, he screams but no control
    For an image, I sacrificed my soul

    Bathed in napalm, drowned in liquid hype,
    Unlike each other, but copying same type,
    Another lover, another night to rot,
    So long since sunrise, forgotten what he's got

    They follow movements, all pre-ordained
    He did it first, so my soul's not stained

    Give me your hands, I'll lead you in the dance
    Follow on, some tortured spectre of romance
    Be my doubles, perpetuate the great scam
    And when you die, your life ain't worth a damn

    And in a tragic moment, the individual falls
    Closed the only doorway, your talent no more calls

    ---

    A darker poem, with heavy progressive stylings (OK, well, written with heavier progressive music in my mind).

    Anyway, more feedback would be great, even if only a , or 'Poetry? Are you living in the 19th Century?'
    Last edited by Orb; 06-18-2007 at 21:17.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  9. #9
    Member Member Agent Miles's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Poetry is not for me,
    But you are the ace.
    Next time add a killer robot
    and a fiery car chase!
    Sometimes good people must kill bad people to protect the rest of the people.

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    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Quote Originally Posted by Orb
    Anyway, more feedback would be great, even if only a , or 'Poetry? Are you living in the 19th Century?'
    I am really no good at poetry, so I'll leave it at .
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Water's Edge

    Patient by the pond, tests the water with a paw
    Still waiting on the pillow, the perfume that she wore
    Is gone. Go on.

    Sleeping in the afternoon, lover of the sun
    Loves still more the night, passions overrun
    By the pain. Refrain

    From the mention of a past wound, sweetness in her eyes,
    From the thunder of an ancient day and hunger she denies,
    Because of what? Forgot

    -ten not all the mishaps that made the self complete,
    Looks with adoration, yet with caution obsolete
    In present times. Replayed rhymes.

    She's still at the water's edge,
    Still on a mountain ledge
    In her mind.

    ---
    Sort of improvised with a somewhat Floydian theme in the mind. The last verse was an entirely improvised addition (go figure) which just sort of came to me as I randomly tried to fit it to a tune.

    Miles, I don't know whether to thank you for that or to demand more updates to A Fox In The Desert.
    Last edited by Orb; 06-29-2007 at 22:42.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  12. #12
    Member Member Agent Miles's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    It's a 'thumbs up', so you are more than welcome. I'm trying to work in the part where Miles and the killer robot have a fiery car chase!
    Sometimes good people must kill bad people to protect the rest of the people.

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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Two things:

    1. In a few moments I'm going to update Water's Edge (maybe a little song-y, since I basically just added that on when thinking of a tune to it).
    2. I'm working on another slightly more complex and developed one at the moment. I hope it'll work out well, but Tales needs more attention than my usual 10-12 liners.

    And, just to fill the post, a major influence of mine deserves a mention:

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Sinfield
    Grass in your hair stretched like a lion in the sun
    Restlessly turned moistened your mouth with your
    tongue.
    Pouring my wine your eyes caged mine glowing
    Touching your face my fingers strayed knowing.
    I called you lady of the dancing water.

    Blown autumn leaves shed to the fire where you laid
    me
    Burn slow to ash just as my days now seem to be.
    I feel you still always your eyes glowing
    Remembered hours salt, earth and flowers flowing
    Farewell my lady of the dancing water.
    Lyrics to King Crimson's Lady of the Dancing Water, a truly beautiful song.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  14. #14
    Imperialist Brit Member Orb's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    A more sarcastic brief historyish one:

    Madness of Cambyses

    He ascended to the throne, once his father's, now his own,
    Lydians and Greeks his slaves, can't resist now from their graves,
    And wise Amasis, the king, whose praises Egyptians sing,
    Had dared to refuse to please, to send his daughter overseas...

    To Cambyses

    The Persian was now enraged, immediately engaged
    Whatever help he could find, traitors, Arabs, all entwined
    by oaths with blood, cloth and stones, shattered empire, shattered bones
    Psammenitus, on his knees, defeated with such great ease...

    By Cambyses

    It was then his fortunes turned, his ambition too bright burned
    For the Apis' bleeding thigh sent his steady mind awry,
    And the desert was too strong, fifty thousand men went wrong,
    And the day he once would seize, was filled with despondencies...

    Of Cambyses

    Soon he left his brother dead, watching from his sisters' bed,
    Sacred things he'd confiscate, using bloodshed shun his fate,
    But his brother's namesake rose, as he rode out to oppose
    Apis whispered in the breeze, 'Madness releases, death frees...

    Poor Cambyses.'


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  15. #15
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Well, a semi-breakthrough after a long pause of inspiration.

    Mindless

    I always wait on rainy days by the Styx
    And stay, until the divine light leaves the banks,
    To see the timeless ferryman wave to gilded eyes,
    I wait, the shades beg me to perform life for them, perform tricks,
    Like an animal at Circus, though they are without thanks,
    I perform. I leave my pride by the water, there it lies.

    The veilless, lifeless ladies draw me to the stream,
    And with a graceless art drain both halves to the dregs:
    Body. Soul. Lone bell's toll sings of my surrender -
    And I wonder if ever I fought against this dream,
    And if some terror truly seized and stilled my legs,
    Or am I forever fleeing, giving life back to its sender?

    It's warm by the river: fevers and sweating dreams give heat.
    The valley and perfumed hags, ash, sand and thorn-ringed vine
    Give it some humid appeal, squalid moment, bones, sore.
    I wait, and wait. Feeling sickened, aware of the deceit,
    But trailing weeds worship me, 'Great Self!' I resign,
    and sit down. Knowing I should go, I wait a moment more.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  16. #16
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    A shorter conversational one:

    Muse

    Enter, severally, discordant.

    Poet: Lady, will you give to me that which I desire?
    Muse: Sir, what could compel you to retire?
    Poet: The green, tormenting kiss that once I felt, rejection.
    Muse: And why should I subject you to such dejection?
    Poet: Give me that strength, I'll go to any length...
    Muse: To do what, sir? My hatred would be unmeant.

    Poet: My pen is tamed to stab words and mutilate them on the page,
    oh please don't let this burning flame be caged.
    Muse: Why, sir, do you not simply turn again your pen to other arts,
    Reconcentrate, and write of fluttering hearts.

    Poet: That's not my style.
    Muse: Pure self-denial.

    Poet: I do not care for the lighter thoughts,
    Wit, and swift off-hand retorts.
    Muse of mine, recarve the scars,
    And raise my arts to higher stars!

    Muse: Sir, your thoughts are futile, infertile ground,
    You'll never pen another violent sound.
    Another path, sir, has been laid out for your feet,
    Romance, joy and our eternity so sweet.

    Exeunt, together, blessed.

    I wasn't quite sure how to present it, it's currently in play format, but that could change.


    'My intelligence is not just insulted, it's looking for revenge with a gun and no mercy. ' - Frogbeastegg

    SERA NIMIS VITA EST CRASTINA VIVE HODIE

    The life of tomorrow is too late - live today!

  17. #17
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Nice .
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

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    Just your average Senior Member Warmaster Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    Indeed. The play format works well.
    The Throne Room: "Less a forum, more a way of life." Econ21
    Don't hesitate to visit the Mead Hall! A little more reading, a little less shouting, please.
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  19. #19
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Temple's Colouring Book

    I like your poetry, especially the Prose/Play one. One thing you might want to keep in mind is watch for the rhythm. Sometimes simply changing word endings and order can make all the difference. For example:

    Quote Originally Posted by Orb
    Temple lit by moonlight, priest walks up the stair
    Lady at the window, face showing despair
    I'd change to...

    Quote Originally Posted by Orb
    Temple lit by moonlight, priest walks up the stair
    Lady at the window, her face shows despair
    As "-ing" endings have a caesuric effect on the rhythm.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

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