England: Turn by turn (links provided here)

[Askthepizzaguy]

askthepizzaguy - IIRC means If I Remember Correctly, which is not to different to If I Recall.

That does it. I'm going to start inventing my own acronyms.

TDIIGTSIMOA!!!

(that does it I'm going to start inventing my own acronyms)

Pronounced "t-DIG-z'mowa". Use it in everyday language.

[Askthepizzaguy]

EDIT: first few images lost... see below for some.

[Askthepizzaguy]

The images and the rest of the story are hidden... How will you ever find them?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The next target is Bordeaux. Then Spain, then Africa, then Newfoundland, then the world! Also, Rennes has been sacked. In order to expand as fast as possible, I will need to figure out a way to snap up those French cities before I get excommunicated. Methinks ballistas are the way to go...



Heading to Caerbannog, home of the Killer Rabbit... I mean Caernarvon.



Seiging Bordeaux, sending reinforcements from Rennes.



Used the navy to transport to Dublin, sacked it after a bloody battle, and shipped off straightaway to Wales.



Laying seige to the Rabbit. Don't think those reinforcements will make it in time.



Just as I sacked Bordeaux, Sicily invades!!! Oh no! Oh woe is me! Curses and Drat! How will I ever survive? Answer: send a diplomat to make nice with the idiots, and crush them later.

[Askthepizzaguy]

England: The saga continues. Clicky the button.

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Caernarvon has been sacked... most of Scotlands army is away from Scotland. I seem to have beaten them to the punch, and now they are wide open and I can beat them to a pulp. Oh what horrible jokes...
Get used to them! Bwahahaha!!!


Sicily lays seige to our castle Sire! We're totally defenseless! Our crappy archers just won't cut it against those treacherous Norman fiends!!! Wait... aren't we Normans too?
P.S. the computer backstabbed me first. Now they are going to get it.


Heading to Belgium for some waffles. Caen produces ballistae.


To Edinburgh! Look how foolish those Scots are, Sire! They have left themselves with a single undefended city, and they are already beginning to reek of death!


Diplomat makes nice with those Norman fools. They accept like the spineless, gutless, brainless zeroes (and ones) that they are.


Turn 8: Diplomat reaches Rome and makes nice with the Roman Senate... I mean His Pontificating Pontiff, or as the French call him, 'le Pope'. I urge his Holy-moleyness to call a crusade against the Moors. But first a stop in Bruges and Antwerp. Those 'Twerps fight like twerps. WHAT THE HECK are the Scots doing in Caen??? That's it... I'm declaring war. I get angry easily.


Here I come you mangy Scotch git. I'm warning you!!

[Askthepizzaguy]

The saga continues... click

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

This is for all my homies in Bruges. Those Scots act like they need a friend or something. I took out Bruges with some Ballista so I could take it this turn. Next: The fall of Antwerp.



All too easy. Call me an oppurtunist.



This stack of troops needs a general... and those Moors need to die... Whatever should I do to solve both problems simultaneously?



For some reason, Scotland isn't attacking my helpless undefended settlement. I guess they want me to spare their lives... (this is the first part of the epic tale of Scots in Ireland, a musical opening on Broadway this week. Get your tickets now before they sell out.)



'Twerp has been taken. Those Belgian waffles were delicious. Heading to Spain now.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Here's the part where I conquer Scotland and really begin crusading.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Inverness is the last stop on my tour of the British Isles. Apparently, that is what I named them, even though my King is a Norman. They should be called the English Isles, as my faction is English... or Norman... or maybe they are Communist. I don't know anymore. At least I'm not Welsh.


Here I come you Moorish... uh, Moors. France joins the crusade, apparently.


After wiping the Moors off my boot, and promoting captain Whats-his-name to a full fledged member of my royal family, I invite him to join the crusade.


Others join the crusade as well. The French are trespassing on my land, therefore they must die.


The remaining forces in England join as well. Inverness is MINE!


Turn 12. 5 crusading armies make their way south. Meanwhile, I use the sudden monetary gains from not paying for my troops to... gain more troops.


Zaragosa will be mine. General whats-his-face arrives by ship.


Eddie Canmore says that after he kills me, my entire family will be next. He never makes good on this threat. Instead, he and his entire army stand perfectly motionless for the next 50 turns.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Here's the part where I betray my allies, the French.

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I lay seige to Eld Cid the Victorious and his band of merry men. Other stack camps in Holy Toledo. It looks like France will get to the target before I will... those treacherous swine!


Mine armies of Christ continue to move south of the border. I bet those Spaniards wish they had a fence. Oh, the irony.


My armies move into position, preparing for the crusade to end ever so quickly. Frenchmen inside of Paris prepare to surrender like the monkeys they are.


My army of peasants needs a brave general to lead them to victory against the infidels.


Those French may have some fight in them yet. But once they are inside those city walls, they are doomed... DOOMED!

Why fight the moors when you have brave Frenchmen ready to die for you?
Meanwhile, a general lands in Algiers and lays seige.


Onward Christian soldier!


I recruit and recruit and recruit until there are no such things as florins.

Okay, twelve. But I'm saving those.


Ballistas + Horsies = dead Frenchies. This is for accidentally traspassing into my holy land, which is Caen apparenly. Caen you understand the words that are comming out of my mouth?


Frenchies sack Cordoba, I sack Algiers. Meanwhile, I betray those Portugese who live not in Portugal. Not for long, that is.


Not sure why I took this photo. Those are some nice dirt roads. Paris is under seige way off in the distance. Oh, how I need a girlfriend.

That's 40 photos so far, the turn number is 15, and I own the British Isles, half of France, a third of Spain, and Algeria. Not bad for a Welshman.

More photos are coming, so stay tuned. Also feel free to comment.