Being a three-eyed giant with lots of hair on the back, I have two eyes in the front and one in the back. By giant I mean as in giant from a faerie tale. I am able to march through cities and destroy buildings as I pass, while picking off aircraft from the air.

The army is ineffective: their pitiful attempts to hinder and seize me are futile, with their tiny bullets and rockets not doing any harm to me for I possess a magical shield around me deflecting it all and this shield cannot be disabled. It is even capable of withstanding nuclear, biological, and chemical attacks of any strength. It is only a matter of time afore the whole world shall perish before me.


Okay okay: I'm of average height and weight (but I do possess psychic powers (telepathy, remote viewing, distant physical-natural manipulation, etc.) and this is no lie, truly. I am communicating the absolute truth )