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Thread: The Cadaver Calculator

  1. #31
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    3900$ It seems its better to stay alive since selling my corpse doesnt sound like business.
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  2. #32
    Grand Patron's Banner Bearer Senior Member Peasant Phill's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    My body is worth: $4975

    I'm not really impressed.
    I think I'm going to convince my girlfriend to mummify me and tour the countryside whith my remains when I kick the bucket. I, I mean she, ought to get at least that tenfold. (Isn't ego a wanderful thing?)
    Quote Originally Posted by Drone
    Someone has to watch over the wheat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TinCow
    We've made our walls sufficiently thick that we don't even hear the wet thuds of them bashing their brains against the outer wall and falling as lifeless corpses into our bottomless moat.

  3. #33
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    $4350

    Now i have to figure out how to transfer my brain into the body of another person, so i can sell my body and buy a new PC.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  4. #34
    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Quote Originally Posted by currywurry
    $4350

    Now i have to figure out how to transfer my brain into the body of another person, so i can sell my body and buy a new PC.
    Why not sell the body of the other person?
    That also solves Kage's business problem...


    "Topic is tired and needs a nap." - Tosa Inu

  5. #35
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Congratulations, your dead body is worth $3425!

    But!

  6. #36
    Robot Unicorn Member Kekvit Irae's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Congratulations, your dead body is worth $4325!

    Damn you, cigerettes

  7. #37
    Philologist Senior Member ajaxfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Early 20's, never smoked, never drank, no tanning, serious surgery or diseases, no chemical exposure, no psychosis, no diabetes, and I've even got a decent head of hair . . .

    A measly $4290

    Where did I go wrong? What have I done to my poor corpse? Is it all in the poor eyesight? The mediocre diet?

    Ajax

    "I do not yet know how chivalry will fare in these calamitous times of ours." --- Don Quixote
    "I have no words, my voice is in my sword." --- Shakespeare
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." --- Jack Handey

  8. #38
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Did you lie about having elephantitis?

  9. #39
    Robot Unicorn Member Kekvit Irae's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Quote Originally Posted by ajaxfetish
    Early 20's, never smoked, never drank, no tanning, serious surgery or diseases, no chemical exposure, no psychosis, no diabetes, and I've even got a decent head of hair . . .

    A measly $4290

    Where did I go wrong? What have I done to my poor corpse? Is it all in the poor eyesight? The mediocre diet?

    Ajax
    The eyes are actually one of the more expensive organs on this calculator, so yes, perfect eyesight helps increase your dollar amount.

  10. #40
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Quote Originally Posted by ajaxfetish
    Early 20's, never smoked, never drank, no tanning, serious surgery or diseases, no chemical exposure, no psychosis, no diabetes, and I've even got a decent head of hair . . .

    A measly $4290

    Where did I go wrong? What have I done to my poor corpse? Is it all in the poor eyesight? The mediocre diet?

    Ajax
    We have the same profile, except that I'm almost 30, drink alcohol on a regular basis, have bad eyes and have had a hernia.

    Yet my body is worth $ 635 more than yours...
    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

    Ja mata, TosaInu

  11. #41
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Whoo, I got a new high score! $8,275! I picked out a gigantic, bodybuilding albino with perfect vision, a healty diet, minimal drinking, and otherwise perfect medical record.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  12. #42
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Quote Originally Posted by Andres
    We have the same profile, except that I'm almost 30, drink alcohol on a regular basis, have bad eyes and have had a hernia.

    Yet my body is worth $ 635 more than yours...
    If it's for a medical school they'll probably like to see some strange things to study them. What occasional drinking does to you liver, your eyes, etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  13. #43
    American since 2012 Senior Member AntiochusIII's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Actually, that calculator is pretty simple. Drinking, smoking, tanning, etc. ruin the "integrity" of your body and lowers its value (not to mention its condition) -- presumably medical researchers can't do much with a ruined body affected by too many external factors to accurately measure "you." However, disorders and rare(ish) diseases and conditions increase it. If you have an extreme body structure (very small, very large, bodybuilder...) it also increases its value; "exotic animal," simply put.

    I think it's just an arbitrary random quiz though. Not to mention I totally worth more than 5000$

  14. #44
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Cadaver Calculator

    Quote Originally Posted by AntiochusIII
    Actually, that calculator is pretty simple. Drinking, smoking, tanning, etc. ruin the "integrity" of your body and lowers its value (not to mention its condition) -- presumably medical researchers can't do much with a ruined body affected by too many external factors to accurately measure "you." However, disorders and rare(ish) diseases and conditions increase it. If you have an extreme body structure (very small, very large, bodybuilder...) it also increases its value; "exotic animal," simply put.

    I think it's just an arbitrary random quiz though. Not to mention I totally worth more than 5000$
    Ah, figured it was something like that. Thanks for clearing that up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

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