Taking down the Papacy?

[Rebellious Waffle]

The Papal States are, to all appearances, immortal. I'm running a Byzantine campaign now, and I've controlled all the Old World provinces for almost forty turns -- I've systematically scoured the entire map with spies, assassins and a *huge* watchtower network, killing every last Papal agent, taking every Papal city, and killing every Papal army. Still, twenty turns after I got control of every region, the Papal States persisted.

And they're still at war with me.

Their diplomats never accepted a ceasefire; now all their diplomats died of old age or lead poisoning (lead is poisonous at high speeds) they have no priests, they have no navy and they have no Pope. But they're still kicking, somehow, some way...


EMPEROR IMBERT: Okay, guys, it's been almost a hundred years since you had a Pope. Perhaps it's time to throw in the towel?

PAPAL STATES: Buggrit, I told 'em. I TOLD 'em. Milennium hand and shrimp!

EMPEROR IMBERT: Look, you can move all the remnants of the Papal States to a nice apartment downstream of St. Peter's Basilica. You can live there with your ten cats and click rosaries to your heart's content.

PAPAL STATES: How's the mochachino?

EMPEROR IMBERT: Rotten. There's no Starbucks in the Middle Ages.

PAPAL STATES: We will never surrender!

EMPEROR IMBERT: You're crimping my reputation, dude. I'm still Despicable because of this "war" between me and the pigs in your yard.

PAPAL STATES: NEVER!