Yes it was only a matter of time until the "You have two cows" joke thread was to come by one Abokasee , so here we are
(This one was written by me and is proberlly the longest you have 2 cows ever )

Spore

You have 1 cow, it is 2d and 1 ridiculously small but it some how survives and becomes a slug like cow, which eats 10 blades of grass and gets 2 long legs at the back and 2 decent ones at the front and a mouth with 3 tentacles, you then some how find 9 other cows witch look exactly the same, you then call for 1 female cow and “make love” with it in the open, then 3 farmers come and try to take the eggs, but your fellow cows kill them, the eggs hatch and you decide that you cows now jump like frogs and have 10 claws and a pair of mandibles, you then become a baby version of this cow along 4 others, you then grow up and get a better brain, and become a tribe which has 14 other cows you have 1 barn and some drums out side, and you buy a spear rack and go and kill some other cows, the other tribe of cows now has only 5 of the 10 they originally had, whilst your village now has 49 cows, you become a small city, all your cows make milk out side of the city and decide to go take over some other cow cities, you take over all the other cows with 12 Legged cow mechs and cow helicopters, your total population of cows is 12412 cows, you get a UFO and fly out of orbit and you abduct 12 sheep and then go over a moon and make some volcanoes and make a massive hill and create a new city on there and they complain because there is no milk, so you drop the sheep on the planet, 4 die because there is no atmosphere but the of 8 just land in time for there to be atmosphere, you then genetically enhance these sheep so they can make milk and milk them selves at the rate 152 cows and have 50 necks each having 4 mouths at the end, you discovered there are no plants so you make a new plant which populates the entire moon, you then discover 4 of your cow cities have just been destroyed by wolfs, causing the deaths of 1442 cows you now have 2124521 cows and 5153 super sheep and you decide to kick the invading wolfs off the planet and you atom bomb a few of the wolf cities and you also create a few more cow cities on other planets (one of them looking like a giant wolf so you make it look a cow) the wolfs destroy one of your planets, you now 42411215 cows, so you destroy the a whole solar system populated entirely by wolfs, the wolfs make peace, you ally with octopi who have 1241212421 octopi, and you decide to make a planet from scratch, it has massive hills, with a atmosphere and 1 big river, and place a monolith on it and populate entirely with goats, you log off and drink some larger, you log back on and find the goats on the planet have evolved into to super goats which can jump from one hill to another and now control over 24 planets, while you have 125, wolfs having 95, and the octopi having 214, you have 10241511251 cows, 245215 sheep, the goats have 21141 goats the octopi have 241521215121521512 octopi, a war breaks out between the wolfs and the goats, the goats win and the wolfs are now slaves to goats and will become extinct in 2 weeks, the sheep on your planets suddenly evolve and a war breaks out (there are 12412421215412 sheep, and 104415112151 cows) and then octopi go to war with Spartans, the Spartans have 300 planets and 300,000,000 Spartans the super saiyan octopi have over 9000 planets and over 9000,000,0000000 octopi, the Spartans win and then go to war with everyone, everyone dies, you have 1 cow, the Spartans have 300 Spartans, you can guess the rest.

So you post yours, try not to say rude stuff