You have two cows...

[Caius]

Rome:Total War I
You have two cow standarts. Romans will want to recuperate the cows asap.
Rome:Total War II
You have two cows. One is offered to the enemy so they surrender, buy a bull from the Spanishards, and you have denarii forever!


(I know, they suck)

[Gregoshi]

Hysterical stuff Moros & Kek!

If you have two cows, why would you need an utter? And don't say "be cud".

[Pannonian]

That reminds me of the wise adage:

"To err is human, to moo bovine."

[Marshal Murat]

RTS:
You have 2 cows. You set 1 to gathering wood, the other builds a barracks. You then run out of gold, so you have to buy another cow, but you can't since you reached you pop. limit.

Tour de France:
You have 2 cows. Both are removed from the race because they took steroids.

Ancient Sparta:
You have 2 cows. Both are trained to be warriors, so you have to subjugate the goats and horses. When the Chickens attack, you pronounce you are defending an extremely limited form of 'Freedom'.

Indian Economy:
You have 2 cows. You build a call center, give the cows a language course, and then you start selling mortgages and credit cards.

[GeneralHankerchief]

RTW: You have two cows. Then the Romans get Marius so your enemy has two moose.

RTW: You have two cows. The EB team comes in and produces a document saying that cows were not introduced to the ancient world until 107 AD. They leave your cows out of the mod.

RTW: You have two cows. The peasants in Corduba, Tarsus, and Jerusalem (to name a few) riot despite low taxes, a full garrison, and tons of happiness buildings, and the cows die in the riots.

M2TW: You have two cows. The Pope issues an edict saying that cows are unholy and you must get rid of one or you'll be excommunicated. You have one cow. The Mongols come and slaughter it.

[naut]

My favourites:

"Surrealism: You have two green cows, which you place on the inverted staircase next to the horseradish-festooned vacuum cleaner lamp."

"Stalin: Your cows never existed."

[Fragony]

Sicilian model, you have two cows, it would be a shame if somehting happened to them.