Napoleon Dynamite:
You have two cows, one has a 5th nipple and the other gets shot in the head by an old farmer.

WW2 FPS:
You have two cows, they were both killed by artillery and will make for really good cover.

Star Wars:
You have two cows, one is cut open for warmth and the other is transport.

NASA:
You have two cows, one to test till it dies on the Earth and the other to send over the moon.

Dennis Leary:
You have two cows, one is the Great Cow Guru (cow satan), and the other will fight for bovine freedom while it holds it large head high.