You have two cows...

**KukriKhan** · 03-23-2009, 15:15

US House of Representatives:

You got 2 cows as a retention bonus. You can keep the left-rear haunch (10%) of one of them; the rest goes back to the taxpayer, you greedy cow-capitalist!!

**Reverend Joe** · 03-23-2009, 15:20

Just thought of another one (forgive me if this subject has been used):

Zimbabwe: You have 150,000 cows, but unfortunately they are the size of dust mites. Experts estimate it would take upwards of 300 trillion of them to equal the output of the average cow. You decide you would rather just drink your own pee and eat some sand.

**Rhyfelwyr** · 03-23-2009, 17:27

Lowland Scotland: You have two cows. You sell one for Buckfast, and then make the other one drink the Buckfast, and put it on rollerskates.
Highland Scotland: You have two cows.

**Jolt** · 03-28-2009, 22:31

Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

Zimbabwe: You have 150,000 cows, but unfortunately they are the size of dust mites. Experts estimate it would take upwards of 300 trillion of them to equal the output of the average cow. You decide you would rather just drink your own pee and eat some sand.

HAHAHA.

**Crazed Rabbit** · 03-28-2009, 22:55

You're a mathematician. You have two cows; both of them are spherical.

You're an engineer. You have two cows; their guts are all perfectly mixed.

CR

**Rhyfelwyr** · 03-28-2009, 23:06

SNP: You have two cows. One will make prime Aberdeen Angus, the other is imported. Why can't they just get along? "one Scotland, many cows" becomes your campaign slogan.
New Labour: You have two cows. One is used to pay for a local MP's HD TV. The other covers the bureaucratic costs of registering the two cows.
Conservatives: You have two cows. You do nothing.
Liberal Democrats: You have two cows. You feel their animal rights are being infringed, and so you trade them with Greenpeace for their weight in tofu, then go to protest about airport expansion.

**Subotan** · 03-29-2009, 01:05

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Two_cows

/thread

**Caius** · 03-29-2009, 20:42

You own two cows. In Soviet Russia the cows own you!

R:TW(From the site): You have two cows. You set them on fire and send them running towards the enemy elephants to make them stampede and run away from your army. They stampede into your army anyway and kill half your troops