The MOST WHACK battle you ever fought!

[Tyfus]

Ok so recently I just fought a ridiculous battle in my Mak campaign. I recently crossed the Agean and started pushing the Arche back where they came from.
So the battle happend after I took ipssus (sp?). They hadn't built a wall yet so I was able to just attack. there were alot of whittled elite units in there and i came out with substantial casualties. Right after that a large AS army attacked and I had to fight as there was still no wall.

Their army was about 7 medium phalanx units and a general
I had 2 pezhatairoi units and 2 levy phalanx units all at half strength, 3 well experienced slinger units and about equal to a full unit of heavy cavalry along with my general.

I set up the troops to block the streets and when the phalangites were all engaged I brought the cavalry and slingers in from behind.

the slingers being the badasses they are, shot the AS General's pony unit right in their pretty little bums and killed them all . meanwhile my general and other cavalry were carving through about 4 of the phalangite units as most of my foot troops were wasted by this point. the sneaky bastards sent a couple units around the outside and tried to take the town square by the timer but I was having none of that wanking . All the cavalry died including the body guard, except for my general I used him to keep the town square neutral while bringing up the slingers to try and scare the last two enemy units off. With their last set of ammunition I charged and luckily they broke.

I chased every one of those dirty dogs down with my general alone and thus broke the back of AS power in the area for a few years at least.

in the end I had three half strength slingers and my General. one of my craziest battles ever.
I'm sorry I have no pics but hopefully next time. Please tell your awesome war stories of victory or close defeat and post some pics too.

[Ravenic]

I fought a large battle with the Koinon Helleon as Epirus just five minutes ago. Plenty of those evil Spartan Bodyguards running around and screwing with me, but I finally made the majority of their army rout.

The last three or four units had taken up random positions all over the battle field, so I had to walk back and forth about four times to get everything and finish the battle.

Then a couple battles before the above, my general died while chasing down a unit of slingers from behind, with no chances of Friendly Fire...I just reloaded that battle >_<

[Tyfus]

Then a couple battles before the above, my general died while chasing down a unit of slingers from behind, with no chances of Friendly Fire...I just reloaded that battle >_<

that is whack

[Geoffrey S]

One beautiful battle was two armies of mine (Makedon) against two Ptolemaioi armies. My two armies outnumbered their main army but was qualitatively worse, and the enemy reinforcements would far outnumber both. It was a really tough battle grinding down the main force, and then their reinforcements hit... gruelling, a very close defeat. I've never seen the AI keep a line so solid with such good use of reinforcements, either before or after.

[noosh]

As Armenia I had a ton of exciting battles where my cavalry archers after empting their quievers would charge elite phanalax and eventually through sheer will break them.

[Musopticon?]

Most whack battle ever was in 0.74, when the Crimea was still a nest of overpowered peltastai. I had to face a fullstack of nearly nothing else except HA and Peltastai and had to spent the whole freaking battle finding hidden peltastai wannabe-kryptoi from the long Crimean grass. I felt sorry for my "bananashields"(as Obelics calls them), my pandotaphoi phalangitai, because they had to run all over the battlefield, uncovering nests of sneaky peltastai, then stand in phalanx and take their javelins without breaking and then mow down the bastards without dying. My two units of Skuda HA had died ags ago and my general was so weak from long marches in wintry storms that I had nearly nothing but phalangists and some light infantry mercs. Two hours of hunting peltastai and I finally won. Then a wondering Skuda army attackeed my poor Pontic troops when I was sieging Chersonesos.

Craziest battle ever.

Most memorable EB campaign ever(would be most memorable RTW campaign, if it weren't for RTR's Armenian migration to Iberia and Africa), even if I got obliterated by Hai.

[Redmeth]

Huge battle in the wasteland, innumerable AS silver shields aided by archers and cataphracts vs my HA army (mostly light Aorsi and Sarmatians only the general had a truly powerful charge) and 2 units of Thanvare Payahdag. It was truly wild arrows showered from everywhere, it started getting very exciting when the quivers were empty and the archers were trying to keep the phalanxes busy long enough for my cav to charge but there were so many... Finally their general fell...
And the last 2 phalanxes were charged by my general (the only unit left) more than 6-7 times each, in the end my general and 6 of his bodyguards remained (he was a faction heir and started with quite a few).
The magnificent seven were born...

[Centurio Nixalsverdrus]

Just yesterday I (Mak) had a really cool heroic victory. My forces consisted of 4 units of mistophoroi phalangitai, 2 units thureophoroi, 2 pheraspidai with 30 men each (played on huge), one unit Agrianians with 40 men, plus 2 units of Cretan archers of about 100 each, and finally one unit thessalian cavalry with 25 men and thrakioi prodromoi with 45. The enemy (AS) had over 3000 men, of whom were 1400 Thorakitai, 700 klerouchikoi phalangitai, 100 Pheraspidai, one unit Thureophoroi and a general and 200 hetairoi, plus additional crap.

My forces were situated on top of a large dune, Thureophoroi at the flanks. First attacked their Hetairoi my Thureophoroi on each flank, but were beaten back with the help of the Agrianians and eventually routed by the Thraikioi Prodromoi. Then they attacked me at the right wing, mostly their Thorakitai hordes. I brought the reserves of Agrianians and Pheraspidai in a line to fight them. Then I marched the Phalanx around their flank. They could fight downhill while ramming the enemy. A single Phalanx unit was attacked by the general, but the general was killed by the Thrakians again. Then the Seleukid Pheraspidai attacked this unit, but were beaten back and destroyed by the Phalanx with help of the Cretans, who are very good in melee. Then I turned the Cretans and let them charge the side of the enemy, and they managed to rout the main forces. The rest was only terminating some Thorakitai units who reorganized in the distance after their flight.

I didn't loose that many men, even my Pheraspidai corps and the Agrianians were still alive. The only disappointment was that Captain Sosias was not promoted man of the hour.

[PenguinLobster]

around 500 troops. 3 units of archers, 1 native phalanx, 1 native spearmen, my Bactrian general and some hellenic spearmen. All missing different amounts of men.
VS
2300 seleucids. mostly native phalanxes and spearmen attacking Persepolis.

I manage to light every ram but one which breaks the gate and my men form a ring around the opening. After slugging it out for awhile a few seleucids start wavering and theirs big holes in the line for my archers to fill with fire arrows. One unit breaks and the chain effect routs the entire army. Final casulaties where all but 64 seleucids and 300 bactrians. Strangely the general leading still had the 'bored' trait after this.

[paullus]

I've had two battles that qualify rather equally, and for the same basic reason:

Battle 1) KH @ Thermon - outnumbered by about 800 soldiers, and intimidated a bit by the epilektoi hoplitai in thermon. there was a massive pileup outside of the gate to the city (it started at the gate, but they pushed me outside), and I charged my cav bodyguard (old EB build) to try to break the enemy. In the course of the fighting the cav bodyguard was whittled down to the FM and one guard, who spend much of the battle around the second rank of my lines, giving the trumped call when possible, and occasionally charging into battle themselves. I eventually won the battle, after suffering about 60% casualties (over 4000 casualties between the two sides in the battle).

Battle 2) Getai @ Tylis - smaller scale battle than the first, but in this one, vicious combat against the Galatai left my army in this state: 1 FM (no guards alive), two units of 20 and 34 getikoi stratiotai (on huge size), 12 drapanai, and 45 of an as-yet-un-previewed Getic infantry unit. The constantly dwindling army formed a sort of shield wall at the base of the hill toward the town square, and with the bonuses provided by a skillful general, managed to hold off more than a thousand galatai off--while I finished them off at the town square with little more than 100 soldiers, I'd been down below 200 for more than five minutes before that. Their tenacious defense of their position inside the town was amazing, and to have the FM all by his lonesome was something else.

[blank]

I was defending Ankyra (as Arverni) against AS. I rallied with 5 units of Lugoae. They had a general, 2 units of slingers, 1 unit of misthophoroi thureophoroi, 1 unit of merc hoplites, 1 merc phalanx, 2 units of skirmishers and 1 unit of mad asabara.

In the end i won, with a total of about 25 Lugoae remaining

[Swordmaster]

Hah, not really a battle, but pretty whack nonetheless: Four units of Accensi were marching to somewhere in northern Thrace to garrison a recently conquered city and were ambushed by an army of about a dozen Dacian shock infantry. I didn't put them on skirmish mode and manually ran them around, once in a while firing a volley and killing tens of those unarmoured Dacians. Heroic victory with zero casualties.

[Jolt]

In 0.72. I was Makedonia and I was already fighting Arche Seleuka and its huge legions. I was attacked and lost a fight against a hugely superior AS army, and the only ones to get out alive were like... 40 Pezhetairoi and my general with 12 or so of his followers, since my armyhad lost, they retreated a little bit and I was engaged once again by the same army. They had like 400 elite soldiers. I had 50. So I thought "What the heck. Let me try and kill their General, the very least." So the battle loaded, and I went trying to circle with my General and my phalanx around the army to kill the General. (He had 30 or so bodyguards) Basically their entire army started marching towards my two units and while I managed to keep a fair distance with my General from any on-coming units, one of their cavalries started making out for my phalanx. So I turned my unit to face the cavalry, lowered the phalanx and the cavalry charged against the spearwall. Now this is where all gets wierd. The rest of the armies were still some 10 seconds form reaching my phalanx, and only the cavalry and my phalanx were engaged. Then, out of nowhere, their entire army begins retreating (Their Cavalry hadn't broken yet)
I was like "Yay! The 40 men phalanx who turns away an army!" I didn't even bother persuing, in case they would change their minds and return to kill my units. And so they left happily and my General happily lived.

(P.S. I later reinforced my General with another good army, and he died fighting that very same army who retreated. :( )

[KARTLOS]

in my caziest ever battle i won with only one single scythian horse archer.

as the haysadan i was betrayed by the sweboz and they laid seige to one of my cities nw of the black sea. they had two generals, 3 heavy inf and one jav cav. i had 1/3 unit of slingers 3 hellenic skirmishers and 3/4 strength unit of scythian horse archers. i sallied once and was able to wittle down some of their infantry but unfortunately their horses caught my horse archers and i was left with about 13. they attacked the next turn. i was able to reduce their infantry further with my ranged troops whilst they approached the walls, but once breach had occured defeat seemed inevitable. then in a stroke of good fortune i managed to cause their horses to rout off the map. this meant they had no one who could catch my horse archers and no ranged troops.

i ended the battle with literally 1 single horse archer being chased around the town square by their generals for about 5 minutes. i won the battle by time out and the next turn i was able to bring in reinforcements and go on the offensive.

[Janius]

My most impressive battle was this one:

Campaign Situation in 212BC:



In 210BC I engaged this Koinon armada with 2 full stacks, the result:



Note that my second army and garrison troops did not take part in this battle. Yet their presence did cause some prehistoric lagg

That same turn I annihilated the last remaining full stack

[Tristuskhan]

My whackiest battle was not with EB, but with RTR 6.3.
I had a full Seleucid elite stack (something like ten elite phallanxes, four imitation legionnaries, two archers, two horse archers, one heavy cav) lead by a green general. It had to fight, on the same turn, twice two full roman legionnary stacks and one single. I won but my army had to withdraw from the province it was defending and wait for reinforcements. Killed more than 8000 legionnaries in three battles and went from 2000 men down to something like 350.

[jerby]

what are "imitation legionnaries"?

for me, I beat a wacked full-stack insta-spawning Eleutheroi army with Lusotanna being outnumbered 2:1 or so Don't recall the exact number, but it was 300-something versus 800, I really can't grasp why the AI decided sending in one unit after another would be the right way...

[Tristuskhan]

what are "imitation legionnaries"?

Post-Marian Roman-style troops available for a few factions in RTR.

[Mattius]

Closest defeat I ever had was as Sweboz, attacked some rebel settlement (gawjam something) took me almost the whole time limit to get up to the plaza, and I had about 30 seconds left and my whole remaining army had to defeat a few spearmen...

At the end of the timer 1 guy was left. The rebels got a draw, healed millions of casualties, and I did not have the strength to attack again. I almost had a stroke. It's kinda like the reverse of what KARTLOS did.

[Ravenic]

That's why you play with No Battle Time Limits *wink*

[russia almighty]

Whack ? Fighting non-stop uber......



thats right



you heard me



you won't believe this



no I really mean this uber



full stack Parthian armies as Rome .

[Musopticon?]

Pfft, try full stack Hayasdan armies as Getai. Freaking Neo-Assyria, lead by a Samutic(begot from Samus the Ugly) dynasty, most of whom were intoxicated around the 24/7 and still managed to best my barbarian battle barges over pear-bright Pontic("'Ere we go, 'Ere we go...") just because horse archers can cause immense casualties.

[Ignopotens]

I just fought a pretty strange battle last night

As Getai, I was attacked in Ionia by a full stack Ptolemaic army, it had about 4 phalanxes, and oh..... 15 slingers. Fortunately my army was in a forested area, so I set up my Heavy Phalanxes on the farthest end and lined the path to them with my 4 Drapanai, 11 HA, and 2 Getic Med Cav, and had them hiding.

When the phalanxes advanced towards mine I just sent all my cav units charging into the slingers, routing them like nobody's business. My phalanxes held theirs for a bit while my Drapanai got around em. In the end it was a total rout, something like 1100 of their losses to my 74.

[Spoofa]

the most whack battle's are one's when i have a phalanx, since the enemy chooses to run his entire army around one of my flank's, so i have to keep rotating my lines for all eternity! until i decide to make a move i suppose. (defensive battle)

[Casaladow]

My most strange battle ocurred in my recent campaign with the romans -

I was besieging a town that had stone wall, on the last turn the defenders left the town to attack me. After some fight I repelled the defenders forcing back toward the city, and then, when I try to take advantage that the gates were opened and tried to enter the city it happened:

My units where a bit too tired, and not all could come close to the gate in time, in fact only my general did and soon he crossed, the gates closed behind him He suffered several loses, from both oil and arrows, but him, now only with 9 bodyguards, survived. I quickly take him to a safe street.

Note that the gates were not conquered so remains in enemy hands.

After I did that, I tried then to use the ram to storm the gate, but the ram catch fire before came close (and yes, I did bring only one ram, big mistake). Now literally, my general was separated from his army.

To my luck, no more than four or five defenders along with their general where alive inside the town. So with the remaining bodyguard had to captured the town.

[Spoofa]

My most strange battle ocurred in my recent campaign with the romans -

I was besieging a town that had stone wall, on the last turn the defenders left the town to attack me. After some fight I repelled the defenders forcing back toward the city, and then, when I try to take advantage that the gates were opened and tried to enter the city it happened:

My units where a bit too tired, and not all could come close to the gate in time, in fact only my general did and soon he crossed, the gates closed behind him He suffered several loses, from both oil and arrows, but him, now only with 9 bodyguards, survived. I quickly take him to a safe street.

Note that the gates were not conquered so remains in enemy hands.

After I did that, I tried then to use the ram to storm the gate, but the ram catch fire before came close (and yes, I did bring only one ram, big mistake). Now literally, my general was separated from his army.

To my luck, no more than four or five defenders along with their general where alive inside the town. So with the remaining bodyguard had to captured the town.

heh, if that was a valued general I'd be a little scared for his safety, Lol.

[helenos aiakides]

If you turn battle time limit off, is there still a time limit to simulate the fact that night would come

[Spoofa]

nope, the only thing that changes is the weather

[Rundownloser]

Sorry, the specifics have been blurred a little bit by time (roughly a year and a half, if not more). Seeing that it's a long post, you can get the gist of the thing by looking at nothing besides the summarizing emoticons.

Anyway, I was playing a Gaulic campaign in the original RTW (as they were my favorite faction). I had a pretty sizable empire spanning all of France, both sides of the Pyrenees and the Alps, and some of Western Germany. Most of my attention was diverted by rampaging Romans and Germans, and I left Narbo relatively unprotected as I thought that my full stack west of the Pyrenees would catch anything coming out of Spain. Not that I expected anything considering Spain were long time allies who had benefited greatly from my continued generosity (that said, I really am not too good at making or maintaining alliances - bit of a warmonger myself).

Anyway, a full stack of Spanish troops slipped right past my border garrison and headed strait for Narbo. I didn't even see them until they sieged the town, whose walls were non-existent, namely because I am a fool.

They brought some game: couple units of bull warriors, one unit of light cavalry with their captain, and a hand full mid-level infantry, with the rest filled out by their cheapest infantry. I on the other hand had one unit of celtic archers, and two celtic warbands, one of which had my captain.

I set up the archers at the mouth of one of the streets leading to the center of the town with warbands at the end of said street. They took the bait and decided that the best way to proceed was to cram every single unit through that little street. I was able to shoot up the bull warrior units and their cav. unit some before my dudes had to withdraw down the street. The cav. unit came crashing into my warbands while they chased after the archers. Before their infantry could arrive, their captain was dead and the unit murdered to a man.

Eventually they arrived, and in force, led in by the waves of junk troops. I had the high ground, so they were losing (I believe my warbands might have had a chevron or two, I can't remember). I broke two or three units right there, using the archers to use up the rest of their arrows on the more elite units behind the front lines.

However, I lost about somewhere between half and two thirds of my men performing this little trick. So I used the spent archers as a rearguard while I withdrew the warbands to the center of Narbo. However, the archers didn't last as long as I needed them to, and they fled, allowing the Spanish to catch-up with my retreating forces, causing the warband not led by my captain to break as well.

My captain held out long enough for my shattered forces to regroup at the center of the town, and then broke himself, losing most of those brave souls in the pursuit. Then the Spanish hit the center of the town, but because of the flow of the battle, the constricted nature of the streets, and the stop and the leapfrogging skirmishes, their best units were still behind a layer of crap.
but maybe these will get 'ed
After about minute or two of brawling at the center of Narbo, I had only two archers and my captain left. My captain, who had somehow managed to fight off the platform then broke and fled. Magically, he made it back and...

regrouped.

He charged back into combat and smashed some conscript right in the face, killing him outright.

Suddenly, the entire Spanish horde broke and simultaneously fled like they saw the maddening glare of Cthulhu and I was obliged to chase the thousand or so left right out of Narbo with three men screaming words in Celtic I hope are never translated.

Heroic victory with a few more than two kills per man.

But...

no man of the hour.

[russia almighty]

I still think fighting a super power parthia was probably the most whack .