Ellen

[Bijo]

The Ellen DeGeneres Show is truly a terrible product. From what I know of it (which is little BUT sufficient), let me summarize its programme (and you may correct my explanation or add to it):

* she appears while dancing
* stupid stuff is done
* she disappears while dancing

To elaborate:

* she appears while dancing

-- she dances as the show begins and it takes reasonable time
-- while this occurs she will supposedly act... "cool" while her ignorant silly audience applauds her
-- the audience might even dance with her
-- she might for the sake of... "attempting to be cool" grab somebody's stuff
-- etc.

* stupid stuff is done

-- she talks rubbish with guests
-- she talks with people and says stupid things
-- she makes stupid sarcistic jokes
-- she tries to be funny, but she isn't
-- she looks as if she doesn't know what to say (which may be part of her attempt at being... funny)
-- she might dance again when she's out of jokes or other stupid/sarcastic remarks
-- she might dance
-- she might dance with a guest or an audience member
-- typical BAD poppish music is played
-- the shows looks as if it revolves around dancing
-- etc.

* she disappears while dancing

-- when the show ends she dances again as she leaves
-- typical poppish BAD music is played
-- the audience (of course consisting only of females) applauds her
-- she tries to act cool as she disappears

What a cheap, unpalatable, silly, amateuristic show. It must cease to exist.

I bet (and I think I noticed as the audience was shot(!)) there are even women in the audience who wouldn't mind a little ehhh... ooh là là with her behind the scenes, if ya know what I mean.

In any case, this show is horrible. Arrrgh! I can't stand it! Not anymore! It pains me to even talk about it here! It's enough! Where's that rope! Put me against the wall and give me that bullet!

The horror.... the horror.........the horror....
[/rant]

[ShadesPanther]

Wow who dropped the hate pills into your coffee today?

[Caius]

Bijo, I notice today you woke up with some critisism.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I think we need to get you laid.

[Beirut]

I think we need to get you laid.

Yeah, I think we can arrange that.

[Bijo]

I think we need to get you laid.

Then you have thought wrong :P

[The Spartan (Returns)]

God I love your rants, you should make a vid.

[Gregoshi]

In any case, this show is horrible. Arrrgh! I can't stand it! Not anymore! It pains me to even talk about it here! It's enough! Where's that rope! Put me against the wall and give me that bullet!

No bullets or ropes are necessary Bijo. See, I just press the "channel up" or "channel down" button on the remote and Ellen goes away. I hear this also works with Bugs Bunny, the Police Academy movies, etc.

Why do you torture yourself so? Cheer up bucko!

[Devastatin Dave]

You can't "hate" Ellen, that would be a hate crime. You must embrace her show and be more open to her abilities as a woman, a lesbian one at that, and realise that your existance as a man is equally as despicable as your hatred for her. Shame...

[naut]

You want to see truly bad comedians a) watch Rove from Australia, the guy sucks some major or b) watch Cobert, he is the worst comedian I have ever seen and I turned it off 10 minutes in.

[HoreTore]

Yeah, I think we can arrange that.

Please, let it involve dancing and a chick named Ellen...

[Gregoshi]

Please, let it involve dancing and a chick named Ellen...

Now that is wickedly funny HoreTore!

[Odin]

You can't "hate" Ellen, that would be a hate crime. You must embrace her show and be more open to her abilities as a woman, a lesbian one at that, and realise that your existance as a man is equally as despicable as your hatred for her. Shame...

[Lemur]

The Ellen Degeneres show? Didn't that go off the air a decade ago? How on earth are you seeing it now?

Oh, wait, followed the link, I see she has a talk show now. Nevermind. Please continue.

[Bijo]

To Dave:

I do not hate her: I simply... wish her show to not exist (and if possible she should not exist either unless she engages in quality shows/films/etc.)

Ellen, hah! Ellen, Schmellen.

I have a friend named Ellen. She is uglier looking than she of the DeGenerate DeGeneres Show, but she sure as hell is funnier and not so silly.

The show must cease to exist.... and you will all help me:

[hypnosis]You will aid me in providing nullification to the show that is so low in quality. You will commence by forming an armed force, voyaging to the location where her show is filmed, and kidnap her to demand ransom to facilitate finances for these good efforts to rid the world of this evil. If you do not comply, you will feel terrible pain.... terrible pain.... terrible pain.... *turns up the hypnotizing memory erasing button to maximum*
[/hypnosis]

[The Stranger]

her face basically annoys me so I never stop to watch

[Samurai Waki]

I'm within Molotov Cocktail range of her studio...

[El Diablo]

Original Posted by Rhymthic

"You want to see truly bad comedians a) watch Rove from Australia"

We have him over the pond here in New Zealand, the only thing I did not realise that he was supposed to be funny. The one or two times that I have been forced into watching it it was like watching some disadvantaged youth struggle with life really.

He does have the kind of sneery smile that even his mother would slap though.

As for Ellen - well she was even annoying when she was a voice over in a Disney movie (Nemo?).

The internet is great huh. We can (annonmously) state our feeling about people that we do not really know all that well and yet feel satisfied about it.

[The Stranger]

thats what u get for being annoying on television...

[Hepcat]

Original Posted by

"You want to see truly bad comedians a) watch Rove from Australia"

We have him over the pond here in New Zealand, the only thing I did not realise that he was supposed to be funny. The one or two times that I have been forced into watching it it was like watching some disadvantaged youth struggle with life really.

He does have the kind of sneery smile that even his mother would slap though.

As for Ellen - well she was even annoying when she was a voice over in a Disney movie (Nemo?).

The internet is great huh. We can (annonmously) state our feeling about people that we do not really know all that well and yet feel satisfied about it.

Yes Rove is annoying, but I agree with Bijo that The Ellen DeGrenes is painfully pathetic and I think it's much worse than Rove. One time when I was bored stupid because I was sick and home from school. I got up and decided I would watch tv because I just couldn't be bothered doing anything requiring me to think.

I switched on tv and something had just finished, then this show came on and it was ... mind numbingly painful ... but for some reason it was like a car crash, you don't want to see it but you can't look away.

But now, no matter how lazy I feel, I never watch daytime television during a weekday. So I haven't seen it since that first terrible encounter.

[CountArach]

b) watch Cobert, he is the worst comedian I have ever seen and I turned it off 10 minutes in.

OMG! Colbert is awesome! Jon Stewart is better, but Colbert definitely has his moments.

[Innocentius]

I've never watched Ellen (I consider her to be dramatically un-funny), but the description of the show sounds like any of the "Night"-talkshows (of which Leno is by far the un-funniest and O'Brien the only funny one at all).

[edyzmedieval]

I'm within Molotov Cocktail range of her studio...

That was class!!

@Bad comedians...

Jon Stewart, though I watch him sometimes.
Benny Hill - don't judge me harsh, I hate that guy.

[Gregoshi]

I highly doubt we Orgahs are part of the target audience for Ellen, therefore it isn't surprising that many of us don't care for the show.

[Martok]

The thing is, I don't understand how *anyone* can appreciate her. I'm sure she's a nice person and all; but as Innocentius put it, she's dramatically unfunny. I realize that many comedians are only funny in stand-up and don't do well in a talk show format, but I don't even find her stand-up routines amusing. I just don't get why people think she's hilarious.

[Xiahou]

You want to see truly bad comedians a) watch Rove from Australia, the guy sucks some major or b) watch Cobert, he is the worst comedian I have ever seen and I turned it off 10 minutes in.

Absolutely obnoxious.