Squid overlords of the future

[Mikeus Caesar]

After much googling and messing about yesterday i stumbled upon this documentary called 'The Future is Wild'. It basically shows where the evolution of animals would go once we're all fossils, in 3 different time periods - 5 million years in the future, 100 million years in the future and then 200 million years in the future. Well, 200 million years in the future shows the most disturbing evidence yet of Octosquid plots - Squid monkeys!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RVb8VWZ26bs

At 0:25 you can see them, swinging through the trees. And their description on Wikipedia is utter proof of their plot to inherit the Earth from us!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squibbon#Squibbon

But on a serious note, what does the .Org think of the premise of this show? After all, on an infinite time scale, anything can happen, including air-breathing squid that will inherit the Earth, or 120 ton turtles.

[Banquo's Ghost]

What do I think?

I think that this will be my last message. After learning about squibbons, I am heading to the mountain fastnesses of MacGillycuddy's Reeks to my pre-stocked bunker where I shall await the armageddon to come - in a treeless landscape.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

As for the potentials of evolution, it largely depends on the environmental and selectoral pressures pertaining at the time. All I know is that termites (or terabytes as in your article) will still be around.

[Navaros]

In my view evolution is nothing but complete hogwash either way. "Backward-looking" or "forward-looking" evolution = all hogwash.

[Rodion Romanovich]

I just got a wonderful idea: let's BREED genetically manipulated octosquids, and in each generation select the largest ones and most capable of living close to the surface. After a while, we keep selecting for size, but also for those who can stay above the surface for as long as possible! Then we select those that start evolving lungs too, and finally, we will have an army of octosquid overlords!

There is no use resisting, because this will happen anyway, so we might as well let it happen sooner!

[The_Mark]

What do I think?

I think that this will be my last message. After learning about squibbons, I am heading to the mountain fastnesses of MacGillycuddy's Reeks to my pre-stocked bunker where I shall await the armageddon to come - in a treeless landscape.

Watch out for the megasquid expeditions, though.

[Ironside]

I just got a wonderful idea: let's BREED genetically manipulated octosquids, and in each generation select the largest ones and most capable of living close to the surface. After a while, we keep selecting for size, but also for those who can stay above the surface for as long as possible! Then we select those that start evolving lungs too, and finally, we will have an army of octosquid overlords!

There is no use resisting, because this will happen anyway, so we might as well let it happen sooner!

Breed them? Bah, for barbarians.

I hold the octosquids' genome right here (holds up a paper with very, very small text)!

Now if we change that sequence and that, and that, etc, we'll have have that octosquid army within a few decades!!

[Gregoshi]

Gimme a break. The octosquids are a spineless threat.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Blasphemer!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Gregoshi]

Come on Legio, get a backbone and admit that they are spineless.

[Rodion Romanovich]

I'm not good enough at English idioms to make any suitable pun in return, I'm afraid But you will regret your sacrilege when the octosquids come, I tell ya!

[Conradus]

I may be seen as a heretic now, but I'm sure that the squids won't rule the world in the future. At least, not all of it.
They'll rule the oceans, but they'll have made a pact with the giant squirrels who are going to enslave us and put us in their nut mines. Just as Dilbert predicted
the truth about squirrels

[Gregoshi]

I'm not good enough at English idioms to make any suitable pun in return, I'm afraid But you will regret your sacrilege when the octosquids come, I tell ya!

Sorry Legio, I guess I have an unfair advantage. Not to worry, you'll have the last laugh when the octosquids come and I have nowhere to pun.

(how's that for a little gift Legio? I turned the pun on myself to level the playing field. )

[Gregoshi]

...they'll have made a pact with the giant squirrels who are going to enslave us and put us in their nut mines.

Good thinking Conradus! Their nut mines will be where we make our last stand. They wouldn't dare kick us in their nuts.

[English assassin]

Clearly the only hope for humanity is to start an intensive double nosed andean tiger hound breeding programme immediately. Those octosquids may be clever, but no way will they be expecting an army of two nosed dogs.

well, apart from the ones that read the org, that is.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Clearly, the only hope for humanity to survive is to submit to your rabbit overlords and become laborers in our vast vegetable gardens.



Crazed Rabbit

[Conradus]

I've always wondered, how does a rabbit type?

[Gregoshi]

I've always wondered, how does a rabbit type?

Very rabbitly and without paws.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I've always wondered, how does a rabbit type?

We dictate to our servants.

Crazed Rabbit

[Kralizec]

In my view evolution is nothing but complete hogwash either way. "Backward-looking" or "forward-looking" evolution = all hogwash.

When did you learn that phrase?

[Conradus]

We dictate to our servants.

Crazed Rabbit

So are you a real rabbit or which poor human being that has been enslaved?


Gregoshi, your puns are really good. I've almost died a few times reading this thread

[Mikeus Caesar]

For those of you saying we should be fearing our less spineless rabbit and squirrel overlords, i am afraid the version of the future presented predicts mammals, and ultimately vertebrates (except fish, which replace birds), going extinct altogether. The last mammals will be some sort of hamster in 100 million years time, used as a sort of miniature cattle by some sort of spider in Australia.

[Caius]

in 1000 year, we will be elephants. Then, 2000 year later, we will be Octosquids.

Post-Teory of the Human Evolution , by GvI