When you start a campaign you always have an emissary and a ninja, but no training facilities for either. Do we assume that they went to correspondence school, or are they just self made men?
When I invade a province and the defender decides to retreat instead of fighting, facilities are still destroyed. Did the former tenants destroy them or did my men do it out of spite because they missed a fight.
The guy who reports crop returns always blames the peasents for bad crops, and praises my rulership for good crops. Is he a kiss-ass or what?
I it just me or do the Hojo's seem almost as annoying as, say---Kevin Costner. Not quite but almost.
The rebels always wear white. I thought that the bad guys wore black. Maybe they are the good guys.
Almost always, just before battle when those drums start up, one or two of my carefully placed defenders decide to shuffle off somewhere in spite of my explicit orders. Did they not pay attention in the pre-battle briefing, or are they dance crazy and just have to move ot the beat of the drum?
Instead of Super duper Geishas, why didn't the developers just give ninjas the G.I. Joe kung fu grip. (I may have to explain this reference to the kids. Back in the late 60's or early 70's ,Hasbro, who made the GI Joe dolls, introduced a line of them with spring loaded gripping hands which they called GI Joe with kung fu grip. It always sounded funny to me.)
After a successsful battle with a really good kill ratio, there is always one or two units that I feel deserve special commendation. Wouldn't it be nice if I were able to give them either special honor awards, milk and cookies, or at least an extra ration of sake and hookers.
Even when routing, the commander of any army (non-Diamyo) is 10 times harder to kill than the rest of his troops. He must be hopped up on crack or something because he just couldn't be that good.
This same general should be vulnerable to arrow fire like everyone else but nooooh! During a bridge attack, I once hammered a command unit that would not move with 4 successive archer units. The arrows killed every last man, but the general who was obviously immune. He finally shot us the bird, and relieved his bladder on a big pile of our arrows. I had the last laugh though, because later I surrounded his butt with about 300 men and stuck him like the pig he was.
The Portuguese and later the Dutch show up with Arquebusses and muskets. Now, if the Germans show up, we can have Mausers. Let it rain, baby. Let it rain.
I hope this nonsense doesn't bother anyone beacuse I find it therapeutic to write stuff about my favorite (non combat flight-sim) game, but if it does, just two words--bite me. Cheers.
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Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.
[This message has been edited by Forward Observer (edited 04-22-2001).]
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