Corporate Anthems

**Lemur** · 09-22-2007, 16:58

The corporate anthem is a neglected art form. I've been collecting samples for a while, and I wanted to share.

First up is the infamous Nixon/Peabody anthem, a tune so ear-bleedingly awful that the law firm has sued anyone posting the full song. A copy has survived, however.

Ernst and Young is, um, saving our souls or something.

Nothing says quality like investment banking rap.

KPMG seems to be channeling the bastard offspring of Journey and the Carpenters. Not as aesthetically offensive as the others, but evil in its own right. I dare you to listen to the whole thing.

The World Glaucoma Association ought to be ashamed of themselves. Who, in their right mind, creates a hymn to glaucoma?

Drupa is doing more of an Abba kind of thing. Good production values, but still, evil. Europop about the virtues of Dusseldorf and the paper industry ... I dunno.

Starbucks uses We Built This City on Rock and Roll to, um, get their message across. They lose points in the lemurs book, however, for not coming up with their own melody.

SAP software gets its gangsta rap on. This one's kinda horrible. More than most. "Whatevah, Oracle! We'll take care of your peeps over here!"

You think SalesForce.com is gonna take that laying down? Nuh-uh. "Cut my teeth on Java / Got it from my mama / I've got the dev life in my bloodstream / I'm living out the coder's daydream." Rawk on baby!

Anybody got any more? Or am I the only sick Orgah who collects these things?

**woad&fangs** · 09-22-2007, 17:17

Originally Posted by Lemur

KPMG seems to be channeling the bastard offspring of Journey and the Carpenters. Not as aesthetically offensive as the others, but evil in its own right. I dare you to listen to the whole thing.

Oh God, When Will It End!!!!!!?????

.... Finally it stops. Hah, I accepted your dare and triumphed!!!

**Lemur** · 09-22-2007, 17:34

I just realized, there's nothing political, religious or offensive about this subject. Well, it is offensive, but only aesthetically. I should have posted this to the Frontroom, and put it back here our of habit. My bad. Could some kindly mod move the thread, please? I want to share this evil with the widest possible audience.

-edit-

All I can say is that you're a braver man than I, woad&fangs. I never actually managed to get through the whole thing. I think my current favorite is SAP's offering. There's something horribly, terribly wrong with white boys rapping about software.

**Ser Clegane** · 09-22-2007, 18:13

I wonder if the anthem that a department of the company I work for "published" will make an appearance in this thread

**Lemur** · 09-22-2007, 23:28

Originally Posted by Ser Clegane

I wonder if the anthem that a department of the company I work for "published" will make an appearance in this thread

Don't just tease us, Ser -- share the goodies, if you've got 'em.

I was out with the kids and the wife all day, and damned if I didn't catch myself humming "Everyone's a winner at Nixon Peabody" more than once. I feel infected.

**Lemur** · 09-23-2007, 00:09

One new anthem, and an important update. I seems the song I posted was Drupa's 2004 song. I now have their 2008 ditty, and it's a wowzer.

Microsoft India has this little bilingual offering. I think I can safely say that this contains the least offensive rap about a GUI that I've heard.

As promised, Drupa's 2008 anthem. Still Europop. Less Abba-esque this time.

**Mikeus Caesar** · 09-22-2007, 18:27

It needs to be in here in case we get sued by Nixon Peabody.

**Louis VI the Fat** · 09-22-2007, 19:13

Originally Posted by Lemur

Drupa is doing more of an Abba kind of thing. Good production values, but still, evil. Europop about the virtues of Dusseldorf and the paper industry ... I dunno.

Wow - pretty clear where they took their 'inspiration' from...

Super Trouper - ABBA
Super Trouper - 1990's cover by the Abba teens
And now Supa Drupa.

As an aside, does this count as definitive proof of the degeneration of pop music over the last few decades?
Brilliant thread, btw. I never knew corporations had anthems.

**English assassin** · 09-22-2007, 19:25

I never knew corporations had anthems.

Nor did I. And now I feel pretty inadequate that my firm doesn't.

Hell, I'm going to get ahead of the game and get my firm a corporate odour. I'm thinking 40% old leather, 25% dust, 25% of a good roast coffee, and a subtle undertone of 10% bull [manure] should say "law firm" to just about anyone. I'm going to make all the assistants wear it, mwah ha ha ha ha.