Dear Pizzaguy (Bad news today) and forum board

[Budwise]

Good question because its 6:41 am and I only slept for two hours. The truth is computer gaming helped for a while but not so much anymore. Thats been my problem is that I wrap myself up around a girl and start to like what she likes. For instance, I am really into the cambodian dancing and music but I won't enjoy going without someone whos cambodian.

Its sad, I can't really answer that. I am just the type of person who works hard to build a family/future and believes in working together to achieve that.

[Odin]

Good luck Budwise

[Per Ole]

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

The thing that got me to get over her was to cut off *all* contact with her. Was kinda hard, cous she wouldn't leave me alone and I had to say some stuff that really hurt her, but sometimes you have to think about yourself first, and it was the only way for me to get over her.

Don't drink alcohol, don't go after a new girl yet.

Another thing that's important. Friends *always* comes first when you have a girlfriend. However unlikely it will seem that you two will break up, friends you have forever (I know this thing myself, as I never though me and my ex would break up).

You'll get through it matey. Just clear all contact, and if she works the same place as you (I go to the same school as my ex), you can try to do what me and my ex do, just ignore eachother.

I'm also like you, quite sensitive, don't like to hurt people and very forgiving (even forgave my ex kissing some other dude while she was drunk), but you just have to bite your teeth together and push all that aside for now, only thing that worked for me.

[Beirut]

Best of luck there buddy. Just don't question your self worth. It's intact. Unlike some other people's.

[Budwise]

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

To tell you the truth, after talking to my grandfather and realising that even he has become scared of how I was acting lately. I have decided to just cut her off completely. What she wanted was to end peacefully without hurting me and she did it the wrong way, she should have told me the truth.

I went to her house early to pick up my digital camera and although his car wasn't there I wasn't allowed in the house and (we slept in different rooms and I slept in the part on the other side of the garage) I was taken to my room and we talked for a few minutes as she was trying to hurry me out the door. Anything I wanted in my old refrigerator, my spare blankets that were hers and not mine as well as the stand she used for HER tv she gave to me, no questions asked. I realised then on the way home that she had him in the house and picked him up last night like she used to do me to sneak me in the house and not let her kids know I slept over.

We have been pretty much done for a year now but going through the motions. She said she was on her period again, third in a month and a half, but she still wanted to have sex once in a while if I asked her.

All in all, I am happy for her but I just wish she was honest, I think I will lose my job for what I did yesterday though but I am mostly hurt because she couldn't be honest with me.

[El Diablo]

Sorry to hear the news Budwise. A break up is never a nice time.

However as most of the board has said a full break is probably the best way and if that involves you looking for a new job as well then so be it.
A smart guy like yourself should be okay. Just use this as a kickstart on yourlife. Be positive about what you can put behind you and what will (in the future) make you a stronger/better person.
Pick the old chin up off the floor buddy, dust of your clothes and get back into life. Just move on pal. It looks like pain and anguish is all the you were ever going get from her.

She will realise her mistake, it might take a week a moth or a year but she will know that she messed up. That is now HER luggage. Your job is to get someone WORTHY OF YOU not someone who you think you are worthy of.

There is a difference there. A significant one.

Good luck pal - it take guts to be this open on a message board even with "virtual anonmity".

ED

[Budwise]

She will realise her mistake, it might take a week a moth or a year but she will know that she messed up. That is now HER luggage. Your job is to get someone WORTHY OF YOU not someone who you think you are worthy of.

There is a difference there. A significant one.

Good luck pal - it take guts to be this open on a message board even with "virtual anonmity".

ED

I know she feels bad, I can see it in her face but she think she loves this new guy. Wait for things to get tough and then lets see. The question is why the hell do I want her back for? I was miserable in the house, I wanted to leave for a while, I just stayed because it was a great house and I enjoyed talking to her.

I think she will really miss the good things that I did when the time comes up and either leaves the jerk or lets me help with Nga (girl in Vietnam). Stupid name though, if shes my wife we will have to change that too.

[HoreTore]

All in all, I am happy for her but I just wish she was honest, I think I will lose my job for what I did yesterday though but I am mostly hurt because she couldn't be honest with me.

Why would you lose your job?

[naut]

Man that sucks. I feel for you. Best of luck.

[Budwise]

Weird question.

She claims that her boyfriend and her think that me having sex with her still isn't a big deal because I was with her first, I really don't miss living with her that much and the idea makes the breakup seem easier as long as I came first after the shower due to him cheating with her for a while and if he had something I would have it now too, any comments? My opinion is that this a-hole knew I was with her and slept with her anyways, payback is a bitch.

I asked her to leave him and she said never but I asked if I could help with that girl in Vietnam and she said I have a 1% chance if I change to, in her words, not be so crazy. I acted a little irrational I admit to prevent her in becoming what we called a "slut person" - her words and she became one anyways. And shes mad about me dirtying up her best drycleaned Cambodian dresses, killing her garden, and making a huge mess in my old room when I FOUND OUT SHES BEEN CHEATING WHEN I SAW HER WITH THE GUY.

She says that their is 100% NO CHANCE of fixing our problem and we are done forever. She says she wants to still be my friend but if this guy dies, she still won't be with me. That hurt. THe times have been hard, I admit but now that shes about to lose the house because I am not there to work the second job and she had to quit and TIMES ARE GETTING BETTER, she leaves me for this a-hole.

She tells me she loves him and he loves her but its only been a month. I will find out tomorrow for sure because if we do have sex and she still says it after she gets there a few times, we will see - thats when she usually loved me the most.

I could really use the feedback this time, I thought I was over her today but when I found out she felt bad because that a-hole didn't contact her all day long, I got back to crying on the phone again at 2:30am.

[Budwise]

Why would you lose your job?

Because I have been completely insane lately and I told this one girl that her husband was having an affair with my boss and how I am sick of cheaters. THey really are having an affair but I got reemed badly and called a lier several times.

Oh, I got a "Last Chance" agreement. Basically, if I so much as screw up this way again, I am fired.

[Budwise]

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

Damnedest thing though, I am almost completely over her as long as I don't see her laughing or loving this new guy. I don't miss living with her, going out with her or anything other than our talking and the sex and the new arrangment I get that. I feel really weird sharing but I think this guy will faze out and who knows, I also love her neice from what I know of her and I hope this will let me help her come over if I stay close to Lien. Plus, I kinda want him to be annoyed with it later and hurt as bad as I do. Sounds completely FUBAR but hey, the only other single girl interested at this time is 240 lbs and kinda dumb, also white. (I AM ALSO WHITE, I CAN SAY THAT.)

[Budwise]

1. Don't drink alcohol, don't go after a new girl yet.
   
2. You'll get through it matey. Just clear all contact, and if she works the same place as you (I go to the same school as my ex), you can try to do what me and my ex do, just ignore eachother.
   
3. I'm also like you, quite sensitive, don't like to hurt people and very forgiving (even forgave my ex kissing some other dude while she was drunk), but you just have to bite your teeth together and push all that aside for now, only thing that worked for me

.

1. First, my dad was a severe alcoholic so I won't drink to get drunk for anything.
   
2. Second, I don't want to ignore her and not be around her, shes still my best friend and I value that. I am just hurt because the love isn't there anymore and I hurt because I don't want to lose our friendship either.
   
3. Third, I know.