Help, if you can be bothered - ^

**pevergreen** · 10-13-2007, 10:31

Wow. End of the year is coming. Once again i find myself in a spot, where i have no idea what to do.

Situation:

Semi-Formal tomorrow night.

Awsome, some might say.

Anyway, people are asking people to go with them, as you would expect. So I figure, what the hell, and ask a good friend (who I am IT Steward with, see back a month or two for that story) that I asked out, and got rejected by, to go as friends. She has a think and decides not to with reasoning along the lines of: She doesnt want to conform, doesnt think it is worth it, doesnt want to go to the thing in the first place.

I think that is fair enough. But now i find out she is going with another guy.

I found myself thinking: why?

I came up with three options:

1. She lied about not wanting to go with anyone
2. she doesnt trust me when i say i dont like her like that anymore (which i dont) and probably thinks i will make a move on her (which i wouldnt)
3. she lied to me and already had someone to go with

3 is unlikely, due to time, but even so

So my question is: What do i do? Am i being narrow-minded? Am i missing blatantly obvious things because i am epicaly crushed?

*Insert Ichigo's DVD Rewinder here*

**InsaneApache** · 10-13-2007, 11:01

Women mate, women. Can't live with 'em....etc, etc...

Sounds like your well shut of her.

**doc_bean** · 10-13-2007, 11:05

The real question is: Do you care about the why ? Really ?

She isn't going with you. She is going with someone else.

If you're interested in her as more than a friend she probably picked up on that (women tend to be good at that sort of thing, better than men anyway). She doesn't want to be more than friends. Too bad. Move on.

Just ask someone else and have a good time. Life is long, nothing that happens in High School will matter in a few years time.

**pevergreen** · 10-13-2007, 11:12

I dont want to be more than friends with her.

But i dont think that this is starting a year of a close working relationship very well.

EDIT: Do i care about the why? Yes. i want to know why. I hate not knowing why something happened.

**CountArach** · 10-13-2007, 11:20

Being on the recieving end of this answer a couple of times, I can tell you that she has someone else in mind - or, and I don't mean this to sound harsh, but she may just not want to go with you. That one hurts.

**woad&fangs** · 10-13-2007, 13:14

I believe that girls have an inate tendency to not want to hurt others feelings. Unfortunately, they don't seem to realize that most guys(or me and Pever at least) prefer blunt truth. Basically I'm in the same boat as Pever but with some slightly different complications. She probably either wanted to go with the other guy or just not go with you and was either to stupid or cowardly to just say it to your face.

**RoadKill** · 10-13-2007, 13:18

Originally Posted by Waldinger

I believe that girls have an inate tendency to not want to hurt others feelings. Unfortunately, they don't seem to realize that most guys(or me and Pever at least) prefer blunt truth. Basically I'm in the same boat as Pever but with some slightly different complications. She probably either wanted to go with the other guy or just not go with you and was either to stupid or cowardly to just say it to your face.

What he said.

**Drisos** · 10-13-2007, 17:23

Originally Posted by Waldinger

I believe that girls have an inate tendency to not want to hurt others feelings. Unfortunately, they don't seem to realize that most guys(or me and Pever at least) prefer blunt truth. Basically I'm in the same boat as Pever but with some slightly different complications. She probably either wanted to go with the other guy or just not go with you and was either to stupid or cowardly to just say it to your face.

Good stuff!

I think option 2 would be the best bet.

I've had the same situation rather recently. I think it's best to make it very clear to her for one more that your 'old feelings' are over. Then just let it rest, just be friends, and she'll one day realise. A more simple way is to tell her about your new crush

(if you have any!)

**The_Mark** · 10-15-2007, 12:29

Originally Posted by Waldinger

I believe that girls have an inate tendency to not want to hurt others feelings. Unfortunately, they don't seem to realize that most guys(or me and Pever at least) prefer blunt truth. Basically I'm in the same boat as Pever but with some slightly different complications. She probably either wanted to go with the other guy or just not go with you and was either to stupid or cowardly to just say it to your face.

What he said.

**doc_bean** · 10-13-2007, 15:23

Originally Posted by pevergreen

I dont want to be more than friends with her.

But i dont think that this is starting a year of a close working relationship very well.

EDIT: Do i care about the why? Yes. i want to know why. I hate not knowing why something happened.

Well, don't feel bitter about it, she probably didn't know how to tell you she was going with someone else, or, she was actually telling the truth and didn't want to go but then the guy she has a crush on asked her and she just couldn't refuse.

Honestly, don't make it about you, what she said and why she said it probably has more to do with her and her situation than with you.

Perhaps you can ask her why, but then that would probably lead to uncomfortable situations. If you just want her as a friend you should be able to shrug this off. Friends shouldn't threat eachother like crap, but occasionally, when something shitty does happen, it can be better to just let it slide.

Besides, this is a dating occasion here, you shouldn't expect priority as a friend over a potential lover.

EDIT: What I would do is probably mention it to her and then tell her it's no big deal she's going with someone else, that I really did ask *just* as a friend and that I'm happy she found someone. All said with a dose of humour so it doesn't sound pathetic.
Of course, this only applies if you just want to be friends. Most advice here seems to be focused on her being a love interest.