You know you're a Kiwi when:

  • You're not a republican. You only notice the Royal family when one of their scandals hits the covers of the papers, or when one of them pays a visit.
  • You go to church for weddings and funerals, and possibly have a vague belief in God, but anyone talking excessively about religion is suspected of being mentally unstable.
  • You probably learnt a bit of French, German or Japanese at high school but everyone speaks English nowadays, so what's the point of learning foreign languages?
  • The date comes before the month: 6/2/1840, and you know what happened on that date.
  • You used to hear about the military only when the wings fell off their planes or the Army couldn't shoot a wild dog. Now you get touching images of peacekeepers in a place you couldn't find on the map.
  • The nationality people most often makes jokes about is the Australians.
  • The only times when it's acceptable to show up at someone's place without prior arrangement are when you've had a car accident or your spouse has thrown you out of the house.


And I found these statements about how NZers percieve the world. None are meant to offend but are just poking fun at some of the funny ideas we have of other folk.

-You think of the French as villains who explode nuclear bombs in your neighborhood (neighborhood being defined as "same ocean") and beat you at the rugby ()
-You think the English are emotionally repressed snobs who feed weird stuff to their cows instead of plain grass.
-You think Americans are grossly obese, nauseatingly sentimental, arrogant sex maniacs. You've gained this impression via careful study of the Jerry Springer Show, Full House, and Dallas.
-You think that Australians are even more arrogant than Americans, but slimmer. They're constantly taking credit for New Zealand stuff, everything from Russell Crowe to pavlova. They have strange fashion sense, favoring pink shirts and gold jewelry, at least for men.