You know you're [country] when...

[Kekvit Irae]

You know you're Deep South American when...

1) You can't marry youre childhood sweetheart because there is a law against it.

2) Your family tree has no branches.

3) Your wife has hives on her beer belly and you find that sexy.

4) You come back from the dump with more than you take.

5) You've been involved in a custody battle over a pig.

6) You hit on girls in the VD clinic.

7) You give your family items of livestock for christmas.

8) Your wife is also your mother/sister.

[naut]

This is one I heard somewhere:

You know you're Aussie when... you take a BBQ to a race riot.

[CountArach]

This is one I heard somewhere:

You know you're Aussie when... you take a BBQ to a race riot.

HAHA! It's so true. Living about 10 minutes from Cronulla that one seems particularly applicable.

In response to Hepcat:
You know you are a New Zealander when your wife can't stop saying "Baa"

[Hepcat]

In response to Hepcat:
You know you are a New Zealander when your wife can't stop saying "Baa"

Here are some more,
You know you're a Kiwi when:
- You think World War I was a terrible tragedy, where incompetent British generals sent New Zealanders to be slaughtered at Gallipoli.
- You think World War II was a just war, where Britain suffered terribly until the New Zealanders defeated the Germans at El Alamein and turned the tide.

Although I think there are more Kiwis who know that we got slaughtered at Monte Cassino than who know we fought at El Alamein. We seem to have a national mentality of commemorating glorious defeats.

[Beefy187]

You know you're Japanese when

-You got a robot dog
-You play with the robot dog for more then 2 hours
-You stay calm when you see our police station turning in to Robot
-You have conversation with your Robot car
-You like zoids
-You start staring anime characters and having wierd thoughts about it

[Kaidonni]

I'll pitch in here...

You know you're French when you keep losing to the English *cough*Rugbyandconkers*cough*.

[Ronin]

You Know You're Portuguese When....


Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name.

You have a rooster napkin holder.

Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, José ,Antonio, or João㯮

You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining room, living room, bedroom--on all your tables.

You decorate your walls with plates.

Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and Jesus as your church itself.

You're 25 and still living with your parents. (Extra points if you're married and living with your spouse in your parent's house)

You warn other drivers of police on the highway by flashing your lights, even though one of the drivers might have just robbed a bank.

You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never go to church except for weddings and funerals.

You think all university graduates should be called "Doutor" (Doctor) and like to be called so if you are one of the chosen few who have managed to finish college.

You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the person standing there to please move away.

You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but think twice about going to the dentist.

You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.

You spend your holidays in Spain instead of in Portugal because it is cheaper.

If you are a woman, you have been to see a "curandeiro" (healer) or have had your fortune told.

You insist you wouldn't be caught dead buying Spanish olive oil even though most of the olive oil consumed in Portugal comes from Spain.

You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos (people from a region in the south of Portugal) but get angry to know that the same jokes are told in Brazil about the Portuguese.

You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful "gripe" (flu). And don't let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them.

You get a letter from your doctor saying you can't work because of an "unspecified, ongoing medical condition" and then go on a two-week holiday.

Your child's teacher misses two weeks (because of a letter from his or her doctor) and you don't complain because you also will use the same doctor when you have to miss two weeks from your work.

If you are from Porto you don't like people from Lisbon and call them Moors. The reverse is also true but they don't call you a nice word like "Moor".

You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese.

The last major military victory you can remember your country having was the Battle of Aljubarrota in 1385.

You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign languages.

Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of money in the States.

Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family

You go crazy for the World Cup

You refer to Portugal as "O Continent"

You've walked in "as paradas" longer than you can remember

You have grape vines in your backyard

You earned over $10,000 for your first communion.

To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau(codfish) au braz, baby!

A barbecue does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardines?

You've had your license for a month, but your $20,000 car has been "hooked up" for a year. I'm talking rims, tints, a system...

A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had to duck so you wouldn't get hit with flying shoes.

Your parents anticipate that you'll marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.

When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical marine school.

Nothing beats a buttered papo-seco.

Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm.

You think that 2am is too early to go to bed and that 11am is to early to get out of bed.

Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.

Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.

You're proud to be Portuguese- and you pass these jokes on to all your Portuguese friends

[naut]

You know you're Aussie when...

You know that some people pronounce "Australia" like "Strayla".

You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent, and for some bizzare reason, think that they invented pavlova. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations.

You know that Sydney should be the capital because Canberra is a hole.

You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of good ol' Johnny Howard

You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.

You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don't know what "girt" means.

You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.

Sausage rolls and meat pies. Period.

You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, "she'll be right, mate".

You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of goon... but you can't remember. ()

You've ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL

You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.

You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alchohol. God bless the queen and her 4-day birthday.

You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like cat piss.

You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.

[John86]

Gee, its great how this turned into an America bashing thread. Lets keep it focused on the Canadians, boys.

[Sarmatian]

You know you are a Serb when:

1. you have a low mark in history, but you know how big Serbian Empire was and you can name all serbian medieval rulers

2. you make jokes about Montenegrins and the size of their country

3. you recognize only one third of guests on your own wedding

4. your mother still makes up your bed

5. there is at least one relative to with whom your parents aren't speaking

6. the amount of alcohol in your house surpasses that of a night club

7. you use slivovitz as a drink, cure and a massage oil

8. your father claims he is not a rasist but insist that entire world should speak serbian.

9. you think battle of kosovo is the most important battle of all times

10. you insist that that ottomans would have overrunned Europe if serbs didn't slow them down.

11. think that interesting sports are only those in which serbs are winning