Ideas for a First Date

[Drisos]

It depons on the girl's charactere, of course. But dinner/movie are options that almost can't go wrong. If she likes shopping, go shopping, if she likes dancing, go dancing, etc etc

It helps to just think of things you're planning to do, things you'd like to do, and then think of taking her with you on these occasions. You may just run into good ideas!

You don't even have to do anything special/go some place.. you could just ask her to come to your place. you can sit down and talk, watch some tv/movie whatever. do you have a dog? do you have some nature close to your own, go walk the dog together.. that can be nice as well. you don't have to be doing 'special things', you just want to get to know her etc.

Good luck!

[SeekerDK]

I personally found that the odd date are the usual winners. Take her to do something you have never done you self or hasn't done in a while.

If there is a ice rink near by, then take her ice skating (work particularly well, if are not that good at it you self), also rollerskating, horseback riding, golfing (minigolf) and so on. But mind you, that it works best for something that you do with compatible "expertise" (or rather lack of expertise). It shows that you want to do thing not just to show off or because it's your hobby. And it is fun to suck at things when you do it together.

I found ice skating to work particularly good, since I pretty much suck at it and can spend most of the time holding on to her (as she is usually better then me), without it getting clingy or weird and on the same time I show her, that I'm not afraid to admit faults and imperfections and that help her relax and get comfortable.

It's not guarantied to get you laid (due to all the broken bones and all that :), but it will provide a memorable date and a topic of conversation on the next one.

The main theme is bonding (which is different from bondage, mind you) and doing something together on equal terms. A movie is in fact a pretty rotten date, but works ok, since nothing really can go wrong (if the movie is good, you can talk about it and if its bad you can make fun of it). Dinner is ok, but it is so traditional and will probably not be one of thous dates that you remember for years to come.

Mind you, that this is a guide to a long lasting relationship. If you want a one night stand or a superficial relationship, you need a whole different strategy of asserting you self as the prize-catch and the flawless super being who has cast his pitty on her and given her a shot. And to all the feminist women's libbers now articulating their protests.. "I don't like it anymore then you!", but I'm sorry to say, that is how the real world works in most cases, even if that doesn't include yourself and/or your sister.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Depends on how well you know her. If it's only in passing ask her out for coffee, if that goes well at the end you can suggest dinner and a movie.

[Drisos]

And it is fun to suck at things when you do it together.

Good one!!!

[Vuk]

Okay, in the next couple of days(probably monday) I'm probably going to ask this one girl out. Originally I was planning on just going to a movie with her but it seems that there isn't a lot of good movies out right now.

So do any of you have an idea? I want to hear them all ; the simple ideas, the romantic ideas, and the zainy/crazy ones. Also, if there is a good first date movie out right now I would love to hear about it. Keep in mind that I'm 16.

Thanks,

Take her out to eat. Nothing works as well for a first date. After that you want to take her places where you can talk with her (and listen to her ), and get to know her.
GL
Vuk

[Husar]

I like that post, SeekerDK, sounds like you're having a lot of fun at dates.

[Prodigal]

[QUOTE=Beefy187]Flowers would be nice[QUOTE]

Don't do flowers until the next day.

If the date goes belly up, don't send them, if you're not sure how it went don't send them.

If you both had a good time, get some delivered, (if your budget can stretch to it). It is a major vote winner with the parents and girls love 'em, although her father will always think you're pond life, least all the fathers I met at that age did.

Bottom line, have a few plans, dinner, movies, bowling whatever, meet her, throw out a couple of suggestions if they get blanked, ask what she wants to do...Anyway have fun!

[woad&fangs]

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. Keep them coming.

[Vuk]

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. Keep them coming.

If it is appropriate, you could take her dancing. That is always fun.
The first time I went dancing with my girl, I had no idea how to, and neither did she. We had a blast. :P

Vuk

[SeekerDK]

And it is fun to suck at things when you do it together.

Good one!!!

Well yeah, the pun wasn't intended, but the equivocality seems rather inappropriate (or very appropriate, depending on standpoint).

I spirit of this lucky/unlucky mistake, might i suggest sharing a popsicle?

I like that post, SeekerDK, sounds like you're having a lot of fun at dates.

Alas, the hard part is not the date, but finding the right girl to take.

[Husar]

Alas, the hard part is not the date, but finding the right girl to take.

True, I found a few but apparently almost all of them so far had a very convincing date long before I met them...

[Louis VI the Fat]

Alas, the hard part is not the date

Good one!!!

I don't know what I find funnier, you sneaking in another pun right after claiming they're all unintentional, or their really being unintentional little Freudian puns.

[Vuk]

Good one!!!

I don't know what I find funnier, you sneaking in another pun right after claiming they're all unintentional, or their really being unintentional little Freudian puns.

u r a pervert

[Louis VI the Fat]

Hey, don't point at me. SeekerDK is posting all these vulgarities!

[Husar]

Yeah, Louis just makes sure that nobody misses them.

[Vuk]

Here is an interesting idea. There is going to be a videogame convention near us next week, so my girl and I are gonna go kick some *$$! :P
That is kinda exotic, and sounds like it could be a lot of fun.
If she likes to game, and there is an event like that in close proximity to you, you could try that. (Though first impression do count, and you don't want her to see you as a "gamer". This could be fun for later on though. )

Vuk

[SeekerDK]

I don't know what I find funnier, you sneaking in another pun right after claiming they're all unintentional, or their really being unintentional little Freudian puns.

Believe it or not, first one WAS unintentional (use the word "suck" on a regular basis, in my native tongue, with out it having anything to do with your mouth or a vacuum). Last one however, is an "old" standard joke (thou the last part of the sentence doesn't make it any less funny).

Lets see you find a pun in that!

[Drisos]

Well yeah, the pun wasn't intended, but the equivocality seems rather inappropriate (or very appropriate, depending on standpoint).

I spirit of this lucky/unlucky mistake, might i suggest sharing a popsicle?


Alas, the hard part is not the date, but finding the right girl to take.

Originally I didn't spot the 'mistake' either. I noticed it when reading back my post though.

ok, in the meanwhile, lets keep this thread axefree.

[AntiochusIII]

ok, in the meanwhile, lets keep this thread axefree.

"Axefree."

Drisos, don't tell me you share Lemur's fetish?

*ahem*

Anyway, I think SeekerDK's idea is the best. It's different enough to work but not in the geeky way (which is instant fail at 16).

[Kekvit Irae]

I'll throw up some good pointers for first dates. Sadly, I've been afflicted by bad dates because the other party decided not to go the road of common sense.

1. Do NOT talk about medical conditions or medications. Unless it's really obvious like an asthma inhaler, your date doesn't need to know you are a psycho that was just released from the hospital mental ward a week ago and are on six different medications at the same time. Total date killer.

2. If such a topic comes up, avoid correcting them. Rather, change the topic. This is the polite way of saying "STFU, n00b!"

3. Lay out your intentions from the start. If the date is supposed to be romantic, ask the other party if they kiss on the first date. This way you wont feel embarrassed or disappointed if they turn you down later on because you didn't ask and they didn't feel like it.

4. Being yourself is a good way of being single. Sad, but true. The first date is always supposed to impress, whereas the second date is where your true self can shine. However, do not overdo it. Don't go out wearing a tuxedo when your date is in blue jeans and a sweater. Keep a simple middle-ground between impressing your date (and saying "I'm the right guy for you") and being casual ( and saying "I'm just a laid-back guy"). Slacks, long-sleeve shirt, and a shave are all that's really needed.

5. SHOWER. Seriously, you don't want to know how many dates I've ended early because the other party decided to stink the place up.

6. Smile and make eye contact. It says to your date, "I'm friendly, and I'm interested in you." Don't overdo it. You don't want to look like a creepy stalker.

7. Tap your chin in thought when your date is speaking. This subtly tells the other party, "I'm interested in what you are saying and taking in every word."

[woad&fangs]

Thank you for the advice Kek. The chin tapping thing is something I have never heard of before.(although I might look a bit odd tapping my chin in thought while doing jumping jacks).

Maybe we should just start an officical thread for talking about dating/relationships instead of us always starting new threads(Me, Pever, Garci, and Husar have all had threads recently and Decker and Zain have been posting about their new girlfriends in the post celebration thread.)

Maybe we could call it the "official cake hunters thread" if it's okay with Husar.

[Husar]

7. Tap your chin in thought when your date is speaking. This subtly tells the other party, "I'm interested in what you are saying and taking in every word."

Good advice, she'll think you're listening while you're actually thinking about a good new strategy against the Mongols...

edit: Call it what you want, but note that my last thread was not one seeking for advice but an information for the endless people I sought advice from before.

Currently I don't feel the need for such a thread and the kind of advice usually given, the more I have to look at according to other people, the less comfortable I will feel. And that's never good. I've also got no specific cake I'm aiming at currently, or none you're supposed to know about.

[SeekerDK]

Great advise Kevit, just wanna add some commentaries.

1. Do NOT talk about medical conditions or medications. Unless it's really obvious like an asthma inhaler, your date doesn't need to know you are a psycho that was just released from the hospital mental ward a week ago and are on six different medications at the same time. Total date killer.

2. If such a topic comes up, avoid correcting them. Rather, change the topic. This is the polite way of saying "STFU, n00b!"

LOL.. Funny story. My last serious relationship started out with her telling me that she was borderline and me japing on about what a nerd i was. We stayed together for 1½ years and are still good friends today

But normally, yeah, it can be a real buzz killer, thou not something "normal" people make a habit of. To add to me previous post on showing your weakness, it a definite NO-NO, to talk about creepy/scary/disgusting stuff about you self. Bad habits can be a conversation starter, but there is a major difference between admitting that you bid your nails (don't bring it up on less she asks) and admitting that you bid you toe-nails, if you catch my drift.

3. Lay out your intentions from the start. If the date is supposed to be romantic, ask the other party if they kiss on the first date. This way you wont feel embarrassed or disappointed if they turn you down later on because you didn't ask and they didn't feel like it.

Ehhmm. It might be a culture thing, but in that particular question came up in a date in Denmark, it would be pretty awkward. Kissing a very natural part of a date and it would be sort of like asking the obvious. It can how ever be used if you are REALLY nervous and can't seem to get a chance to plant that first kiss. But defiantly not the best way to display you confidences in your self.

Thou I actually tried once, asking her if she had sex on the first date. She laughed and refused to answer, but it was defiantly not the worst question I asked a girl on a first date (and turned out she did :)
Mind you, that one only work with some girls and can easily back-fire. You might wanna save it till you turn 20 or something.

6. Smile and make eye contact. It says to your date, "I'm friendly, and I'm interested in you." Don't overdo it. You don't want to look like a creepy stalker.

7. Tap your chin in thought when your date is speaking. This subtly tells the other party, "I'm interested in what you are saying and taking in every word."

Great advise.
Additions:
Remember to blink!
If the eye contact gets wierd, there is an alternative to just looking away (which might not always be the best move, if the starring has already gone sour). Try a wink, a smile or if you have good facial muscle control in tight situations, a funny face - "sexy pout" or something (- not sure about that word.. Look it up in the dic, but have never heard it before).
Objective is to make her smile. If she doesn't, you failed: Look away and take a fast sip of you drink.

Follow-up questions are always a winner. I have most success with not telling anything about my self that she don't ask (other then SMALL anecdotes and personal experiences that fit the conversation), but it might just be a skill that I don't have (when I try, I usually end up talking about work, computers or M2TW :)

Anyway, I think SeekerDK's idea is the best. It's different enough to work but not in the geeky way (which is instant fail at 16).

Yeah! Freudian puns are the best

[Lemur]

For some reason, Kekvit Irae's post puts me in mind of a famous CraigsList posting:

I need an unstable woman for a drama filled relationship

Hi there,

I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

My name is Lloyd, I live in Chicago , I’m 27 years old, fairly well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I’m told I’m fairly good looking, but I’ll let you be the judge of that - I’m generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we’re lucky - both!

You should:

* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I’m getting excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best,

Lloyd

ps This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.

[Kekvit Irae]

When in doubt, you can always fall back on the time-proven method of naked jumping jacks.

[Rodion Romanovich]

1. Do NOT talk about medical conditions or medications. Unless it's really obvious like an asthma inhaler, your date doesn't need to know you are a psycho that was just released from the hospital mental ward a week ago and are on six different medications at the same time. Total date killer.

That is, if you're below 80. If you're older than 80, you should open the date not with "hi! you're looking terrific!" but "hi! I can see you've really taken your medication!"

3. Lay out your intentions from the start. If the date is supposed to be romantic, ask the other party if they kiss on the first date. This way you wont feel embarrassed or disappointed if they turn you down later on because you didn't ask and they didn't feel like it.

That is good. If you only look for sex, for example, just go around asking for sex. From what I've heard, all who tried it asked on average 20 girls before successful, at a cost of less than 5 slaps in the face.

6. Smile and make eye contact. It says to your date, "I'm friendly, and I'm interested in you." Don't overdo it. You don't want to look like a creepy stalker.

Here I must add, keep the eye contact relatively steady! Don't move the eyes around quickly, including turning away from the date and looking behind you. If you're worried about the voices behind you, bring a mirror that you can discretely hide in your palm!

7. Tap your chin in thought when your date is speaking. This subtly tells the other party, "I'm interested in what you are saying and taking in every word."

Yes, and I always find myself saying the "mmmhmm"s too close together that it sounds unnatural. Try to space the mmmhmms a bit more, and learn a list of synonyms to mmmhmm so that it doesn't sound too monotone. It doesn't matter if you're really listening - what matters if it sounds like you're listening. Nothing sucks so bad as if you're a really honest person that REALLY listens, and the date believes you're not.

8. for all eventualities, bring your spiked club. But don't make the common beginner mistake of keeping it visible! Hiding it in a long bag with the same shape doesn't work either! Try to hide it in a briefcase and don't look at the briefcase nervously at any time during the date!

[Kekvit Irae]

Trying not to turn this into a backroom discussion, another topic of discussion to avoid on a first date is religion. Unless you both go to the same place of worship and you both know what each other denominations are, avoid bringing the subject up. The first date is supposed to get the other party interested in you, not what you believe in. Once they are very interested in you, great differences like religions will seem smaller.

Take my own example as a date killer:
Them: "I go to a Church of Christ university. So, what church do you go to?"
Me: "...well my parents were Methodist, so I used to go to the First Methodist Church."
Them: "Used to? You don't anymore? Well, I'm afraid that I can't be involved with someone who is going to hell."
Me: "...check, please!"


Topics to encourage are random trivia facts. Use these to get a better judge of what kind of conversationalist your date is, and modify your conversation to suit. If your date is a History major, you've already got your foot in the door from going to a forum that is based around Total War. If your date enjoys movies, pop in a Casablanca (or other classic movie) quote or two, and your date will be swooning in no time (I know I will).
However, this is a double-edged sword as well. If your date is not exactly Einstein, modify your trivia to be more along the lines of something that everyday people can relate to, like local sports or such. The point of this is to not make your date feel intellectually inferior and to better get to know his/her habits and hobbies.

[Husar]

How about grammar?

[Marshal Murat]

Who grammar needs?

[Rodion Romanovich]

It's more ipmortannt wid speling!