Zombie Defense Station?

[ICantSpellDawg]

I just don't understand why laser guns haven't been discussed. Rechargeable batteries and endless ammo

[Ronin]

I just don't understand why laser guns haven't been discussed. Rechargeable batteries and endless ammo

when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?

[Louis VI the Fat]

Are you guys even keeping up? I, for one, know that today's generation of zombies have only one thing on their tormented minds: tuwrtelz.

I always carry a few handy pocket-sized turtles with me, just in case I need to placate some zoms.

Moat filled with flesh eating fish.
Then one with spikes.
Electrify the door knobs of the house.

Meh, and there I was, thinking Aussies simply smoked any zombie they come across...

[Uesugi Kenshin]

when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?

From a Gerbil powered electrical generator in my basement of course!

And I think a fire poker would be a pretty good improvised hand to hand weapon.

[Lemur]

It has begun. In Vancouver, no less.

[Mikeus Caesar]

Once i can afford it, my plan, which would not only zombie apocalypse but all forms of apocalypse, would be to make sure i live outside of a major population centre - i'd build a bunker entrance on a slight mound to my lair below, while surrounding this slight mound would be a dry ditch, with 12ft high walls to prevent them climbing up. Just camp there until the trouble is over and they've all starved.

Bring on the apocalypse once i've actually built this thing!

[Ironside]

After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground. Make it cover enough area to grow some food+ some water storage/well and you're set.

As for optimal equipment to get there, the big anti-zombie kit should be bite proof armour with helmet and mask (albiet a bit more mobile than Kagemusha's suggestion, the mask is to prevent bad luck with splashing blood or saliva), police shield and a mace aswell. A katana or a very sharp one-hander can also be useful as extra equipment. This is for the melee of course.

Short range is a shotgun, and for longer range an AK:4 (I agree with Horetore that a larger caliber should be more useful).

What I personally got home is a bit poorer, winterclothes, a bat and knives. Running is probably a good option as I doubt I can take more than 1 at a time tops without getting bitten. Luckily, if the winter is here when they come, they're somewhat limited in movement. Hard for them to move when frozen.

BTW ever noticed how good equipement the medieval people had for zombie defense? Big castles, thick armour excellent zombie killing melee weapons... Hardly a coincidence.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground. Make it cover enough area to grow some food+ some water storage/well and you're set.

As for optimal equipment to get there, the big anti-zombie kit should be bite proof armour with helmet and mask (albiet a bit more mobile than Kagemusha's suggestion, the mask is to prevent bad luck with splashing blood or saliva), police shield and a mace aswell. A katana or a very sharp one-hander can also be useful as extra equipment. This is for the melee of course.

Short range is a shotgun, and for longer range an AK:4 (I agree with Horetore that a larger caliber should be more useful).

What I personally got home is a bit poorer, winterclothes, a bat and knives. Running is probably a good option as I doubt I can take more than 1 at a time tops without getting bitten. Luckily, if the winter is here when they come, they're somewhat limited in movement. Hard for them to move when frozen.

BTW ever noticed how good equipement the medieval people had for zombie defense? Big castles, thick armour excellent zombie killing melee weapons... Hardly a coincidence.

For all the advantages of medieval armor and weaponry in close-quarters fighting their ranged weaponry was ineffective when used in zombie killing, the fire rate of a longbow and its accuracy are both too low to really be effective, and even if you go into battle in full plate with a light mace and kite shield if a little blood gets through your helmet and into your mouth you're still just as dead and twice as dangerous to a castle.

I still think the Federal Vampire Zombie Agency is the best organized and equipped force for fighting the undead, despite their occasional tactical errors. http://www.fvza.org/

[Gregoshi]

After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground.

A castle provides good protection during the day, but what about the knights? Zombies rule the knight, you know.

[Kekvit Irae]

As an avid fan of zombie apocalypse movies and comics, I should throw in my two cents.

Find yourself a Super Wal-Mart or similar department store. Firearms, ammo, mattresses, canned food, bottled water, TVs, internet, and anything else you need to hold off on the year long siege. Wal-Marts have glass entrances, but can be protected by their metal cages that descend from the ceiling. Bring with you family, friends, and other survivors to barricade and clear the store.
Once you secure the store, send out convoys to the local National Guard armories for weapons, and find specialists who can operate nearby powerplants and water treatment facilities. Hopefully you wont need to do this, but every little bit helps.

[ICantSpellDawg]

when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?

Maybe recycled zombie parts? or fear? They are de-salinizing water, I'm sure they could figure out some way to hook that up

[woad&fangs]

since zombies have a well documented weakness for fire can I recommend Hell as a possible Hiding place?

Edit: Ironically this was my 666th post.

[Lemur]

I'm putting my faith in the Zombie Squad. They'll know what to do.

[Louis VI the Fat]

It has begun. In Sydney, no less.

That's not Sydney, that's Vancouver. Are you trying to make us flee to the wrong place?

Hmm, you are also the one who opened this thread. Prying for information about our defense methods. Egging us on to reveal ever and ever more. Yet - I noticed that you yourself haven't come up with a single defensive measure....

I must say that the little 'nocturnal creature' clue - 'Lemur' - was a good one.

What would you put together for your zombie defense station?

Ladies, gentlemen, the zombies may already have infiltrated the .org. I urge you to not to reveal anything more.
In fact, I think it is time for us to run.

[Lemur]

What a fanciful thing to post, Louis! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am laughing at your witty, nonsensical statement.

Please remain in your current location. I have it on good authority that some friends are coming to meet you. For lunch.

[woad&fangs]

Posted By Lemur in another thread
You have been misinformed! human flesh tastes just like pork. They even call human, as a dish, "long pork." And as we all know, pork is the other white meat.

[Lemur]

Oh, you witty, silly humans. I mean Orgahs. Let's not derail this thread! Remember, we're supposed to be talking about our plans for zombie defense, not the sweet, succulent taste of still-living human flesh. We all know humans taste wonderful, but that should be its own thread.

Let's talk about how our physical location affects our plans for defense. For instance, Waldinger, where do you live? Exactly? And how does that bear on your plans to defend yourself from, say, a small strike force of zombie assassins?

[woad&fangs]

Another freaky Lemur Quote
When I'm getting ready for a date, I have a few essentials:
Clown suit
Plastic tarps
Chainsaw
Full-sized van
Pre-dug pit in forest preserve
Five spools of copper wire
Oh, wait, I haven't been on a date in over a decade. Never mind. I was thinking of something else.

Uh Oh, If I remember right, Me and Lemur both live in South Wisconsin so I am afraid that I might be the first casualty . Coincidently, the local coffee house is playing "Night of the Living Dead" tonight. At least spare me till I can ask the girl out, Okay Lemur.

[Crazed Rabbit]

On the contrary Lemur, I think we should discuss the best shotgun loads for small promisians. Buckshot might be a bit much - maybe heavy bird shot or lighter buck shot.

CR
PS I hope Zombies don't like rabbit meat.

[Gregoshi]

"Don't fear the Lemur"...right.

[Lemur]

I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.

It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.

No, the only scenario that would make sense would be if I were a human agent for the zombie invasion, a sort of Renfield or Kent Brockman, if you will. "I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords" and all of that.

Which is a silly suggestion anyway. As if I would betray humanity just because the zombies promised they would eat me last. Who would be stupid enough to take that kind of job?

Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.

[woad&fangs]

I'm surprised that the angry mob tactic hasn't been discussed yet.

[Ironside]

I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.

It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.

It has been reports of more intelligent zombies occationally occuring, often known as zombie lords. Known examples are Bud, "Big Daddy" and Stale Mary. While it's easy to notice thier condition when the speak, thier abillities of writing is unknown.

You've far to much knowledge to be free from suspicion.

Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.

Upcoming?

Louis good find. I've been in contact with the French company known as Parapluie that is working on combat androids controlled by the powerful AI Crimson Queen, used to defeat this zombie threat. Those are a bit harder to be brain-sucked and/or infected.

I don't know is you're a Zombie lord or only have chosen a poor career choice, but the androids will come after you Lemur!

[English assassin]

if a little blood gets through your helmet and into your mouth you're still just as dead

You are thinking about 28 days later style infection Zombies. Entertaining as they are, I don't think these really qualify as true Zombies at all, since they are not undead. Everyone knows that true Zombies are corpses which come back to life, because hell is now full. (Satan must be as incompetent as the British prisons minister, and has introduced a sort of early release scheme to reduce overcrowding.) Getting some of an undead zombie's blood on you will not turn you into a zombie, although, obviously, being killed and part eaten will.

I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.

[Ironside]

I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.

Yes, icecubes are such a problem.

Different winter weather I guess.

[Rodion Romanovich]

I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.

It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.

No, the only scenario that would make sense would be if I were a human agent for the zombie invasion, a sort of Renfield or Kent Brockman, if you will. "I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords" and all of that.

Which is a silly suggestion anyway. As if I would betray humanity just because the zombies promised they would eat me last. Who would be stupid enough to take that kind of job?

Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.

I knew it - he's not a zoombie, he's an octosquid!!!

[woad&fangs]

I knew it - he's not a zoombie, he's an octosquid!!!

It all makes sense now. He is trying to distract us from the octosquid threat by having us discuss the highly unlikely threat of a zombie apocalypse. And of course there is the horrifying possiblity that he is in fact a zombie octosquid.

[Louis VI the Fat]

People, people, can we calm down, please? I think this Lemur bashing has gone far enough, don't you think? I mean, what is up with all this mean, backstabbing suspicion towards our good friend Lemur anyway? This must stop.

All he wants, is a light-hearted discussion, where we reveal to each other what our defensive measures against zombies are. Is that so hard? Please, descriptions, pictures, maps...anything will do. Is this too much to ask for?

Besides, I don't get what you are all so afraid of anyway. If I were you, I'd simply do away with any defenses. Zombies are not that scary. Just...different. I bet that if you just took the time to indulge your curiousity and sat down with them for a chat over lunch, you'd quickly learn that you've got nothing to be afraid of...


Really, it is not what you'd expect. It is..not so bad. Not so bad at all...

What a fanciful thing to post, Louis! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am laughing at your witty, nonsensical statement.

Please remain in your current location. I have it on good authority that some friends are coming to meet you. For lunch.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

You are thinking about 28 days later style infection Zombies. Entertaining as they are, I don't think these really qualify as true Zombies at all, since they are not undead. Everyone knows that true Zombies are corpses which come back to life, because hell is now full. (Satan must be as incompetent as the British prisons minister, and has introduced a sort of early release scheme to reduce overcrowding.) Getting some of an undead zombie's blood on you will not turn you into a zombie, although, obviously, being killed and part eaten will.

I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.

I think we should find out whether the true cause of zombies is hell filling up or some sort of pathogen, because really it would be a lot easier if being bitten and/or getting blood on you didn't turn you into a zombie, if not I need to buy some high-quality surgical gear and a gas mask.

[Ironside]

Besides, I don't get what you are all so afraid of anyway. If I were you, I'd simply do away with any defenses. Zombies are not that scary. Just...different. I bet that if you just took the time to indulge your curiousity and sat down with them for a chat over lunch, you'd quickly learn that you've got nothing to be afraid of...


Really, it is not what you'd expect. It is..not so bad. Not so bad at all...

Hmmmm......

Uhmm I was thinking about the long term consequences of zomibieism. I mean thier feeding habits creates more zombies that require more food, making it soon impossible have enough humans around to supply the evergrowing zombie population. Where would the more intelligent zombies go from there?

Preliminary android testing did not go as planned, atleast they kill everything now