I think I have it figured out. Most of these things can cancel each other.
We can set off some nukes to create a nuclear winter which counters the global warming. The super volcano should warm things up enough to neutralize the nuclear winter and put enough debris in the atmosphere to block out the sun, thus saving us from skin cancer. As for the other cancers, we can negotiate with the zombies to only eat the cancerous parts of our bodies - its a win-win for both of us. We can get the octosquids and the terrorists to go at each other, as they will be the biggest threats to each other should the other take power.
Now that I've saved the world from impending doom, I'm taking the rest of the day off.![]()
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