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Thread: Daybreak Traverse

  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Daybreak Traverse

    Code:
    Daybreak Traverse
    
    Daybreak Traverse
    
    Oh! Day of misery,
    Burning over the glinting
    Of the ebbing, flowing horizon.
    As the sight, it comes to view,
    And in madness overwhelming
    Erupts a deathly roar, edges fraying;
    
    And as it grows louder in your ears
    Ever so unnerving, dark and piercing,
    It comes to form,
    An epilogue of silver embossed tears,
    To the bleakest notion
    For which fate once spoken,
    Lends the sight of a stirring vision
    Steeped in illuminated emotion,
    Of what was once held dear,
    To what you held most close.
    It passes from all perception,
    And so I ask:
    		Will you hold it to the heart?
    		Until in passing, you do depart?
    		And will it lead you through
    		A labyrinth of thoughts,
    		And notions once provoked?
    		All caused by the blazing
    		Of the memories caught within your ear?
    
    Once more I unleash,
    And I do call out:
    		To what presumption,
    		Will the bell toll the hour?
    		And what yet am I to do,
    		As I hold no power?
    
    							The crow calls, once, twice.
    
    Oh! House of misery,
    Where all is as it as
    And surely it will tumble
    To lay, as a swell,
    A bulging mess,
    Upon which grows moss;
    And like my soul,
    It lingers damp,
    Languorous in the shade;
    As all I grasp for,
    Is as fog, it steals away;
    A visage ever more cracked than
    The facades we grow upon.
    
    Oh! Bay of darkness,
    Bridged with feeling,
    Cracks all appearing,
    In crooked planks below.
    While the Earth gently breathing,
    Through bedrock, water leaving;
    It saps my soul,
    A well of sadness grieving,
    Out upon the sandy shore.
    And yet, the simple motion, soothing,
    Opening rifts, it shifts,
    The light darting, rolling,
    Echoing out across the blue.
    And the darkest sunrise,
    Is brightly turned ablaze,
    ‘Til no longer,
    Can the appendages between
    The Heavens and the Earth
    Be discerned.
    	
    And I am left,
    To find that I have aged,
    And traversed through,
    Down, and upon,
    This passage, a progression,
    From the trivialities of one moment,
    Unto the passing of the next;
    I have walked this faltering walk,
    Until I did stumble,
    Upon a single being of true worth;
    Alas to find I have reached,
    The point where I shall descend,
    Where all the pathways come to an end.
    Code tags simply used to preserve the tabbing.
    Last edited by naut; 01-11-2008 at 13:16.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  2. #2

    Default Re: Daybreak Traverse

    First let me begin by saying I'm not much of a poet personally, and yours are a very fancy use of language. There is one problem however, I just don't get what they are about. Now this may just be my poetic ignorance, but if I the reader don't understand the meaning of them, which alludes me even at this very minute, it just seems like a collective of random words. Its probably just me and my lack of poetic sense, so for clarification purposes could you please explain, maybe give me a little insight into your otherwise nice sounding poem?
    Last edited by Meldarion; 11-13-2007 at 16:34.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daybreak Traverse

    At first I was going to explain the meaning I put into this piece, but now I've decided not to. And here's why: poetry is about interpretation and experiences. It is up to the responder to engage with the poem and try and understand the experience being portrayed or even better to find their own experience within it. So if you can't understand it, and I'm betting you're not the only one, you may be trying to look at it too rationally or you just haven't experienced the emotion's in it.

    If you still are confused and want a straight answer, I'll happily provide.

    (Now I sound like an pompous arse.)
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  4. #4

    Default Re: Daybreak Traverse

    No more explanation necessary, I will just continue to ponder, in fact now that I think about it the deciphering of it is part of the fun. If you gave me the answer now the mystery would lose its charm and from my own interpretation that would ruin the poem for me.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daybreak Traverse

    I often sacrifice conjoining words and narrative progression, so I've changed these lines:

    Oh! House of misery,
    As I pass
    Full of remorse;
    And like the cards,
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  6. #6
    Just your average Senior Member Warmaster Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daybreak Traverse

    I admire your poetry, Rythmic. Please, keep it up, if you can.
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