SFTS Just lost something important (PLease Read)

[Strike For The South]

I really hate to do this but my badassness in real life prevents me sharing emotion with my family or friends.

Im an easy going guy. Nothing usually worrys or upsets me and Im always looking for my next good time. Wether girls were there or not was never really an issue. I got mine when it mattered. However during the summer I hooked up with a friend of mine who I had a little crush on. Well one thing led to another and we started dating. Things were going great and lately we had just been going at like pigs on slop. Then she left for thanksgiving and when she came back she was very angry at me for not calling her as soon as she got in town. I didnt get it. So we argued and last night I call her up and she seems fine so she comes over and watches a movie. I can tell something is wrong but she denies it. So I go to drop her off and Im walking her to her door (in the freezing rain) and I told her that I knew something was wrong and she needed to tell me. She looked at me and looked away and said she didnt think she had been a good enough girlfriend and she thought she was holding me back. She also said that those feelings just wernt there anymore. Im just floored, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "Do you wanna break up" and she looks and all she does is nod. So I told her if thats how she really flet than thats fine. So we hugged and then for about 3 seconds we just stared at eachother wondering if we she kiss....we didnt. We went our ways. About 5 mins later I pulled my truck over and vomited everywhere. I didnt cry or get mad I just vommited. I really liked this girl she was so perfect and now its gone. I've never felt this way about anything before. My football teams have lost Ive spilt my beer Ive broken bones and torn my body to sherds. But nothing in my life has ever hit me as hard as this. Its a dadgum kick in the friggin nuts. This girl meant so much and now shes gone.

[Ice]

I really hate to do this but my badassness in real life prevents me sharing emotion with my family or friends.

Im an easy going guy. Nothing usually worrys or upsets me and Im always looking for my next good time. Wether girls were there or not was never really an issue. I got mine when it mattered. However during the summer I hooked up with a friend of mine who I had a little crush on. Well one thing led to another and we started dating. Things were going great and lately we had just been going at like pigs on slop. Then she left for thanksgiving and when she came back she was very angry at me for not calling her as soon as she got in town. I didnt get it. So we argued and last night I call her up and she seems fine so she comes over and watches a movie. I can tell something is wrong but she denies it. So I go to drop her off and Im walking her to her door (in the freezing rain) and I told her that I knew something was wrong and she needed to tell me. She looked at me and looked away and said she didnt think she had been a good enough girlfriend and she thought she was holding me back. She also said that those feelings just wernt there anymore. Im just floored, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "Do you wanna break up" and she looks and all she does is nod. So I told her if thats how she really flet than thats fine. So we hugged and then for about 3 seconds we just stared at eachother wondering if we she kiss....we didnt. We went our ways. About 5 mins later I pulled my truck over and vomited everywhere. I didnt cry or get mad I just vommited. I really liked this girl she was so perfect and now its gone. I've never felt this way about anything before. My football teams have lost Ive spilt my beer Ive broken bones and torn my body to sherds. But nothing in my life has ever hit me as hard as this. Its a dadgum kick in the friggin nuts. This girl meant so much and now shes gone.

Tough break man.

[Strike For The South]

wow writing is therputic

[Papewaio]

Happens to all of us. Not much solace, but you will survive.

She said she wasn't a good enough girlfriend for you...

Well how do you feel? Is she correct? Is she holding you back? What do you want to achieve in life? You are still young and you have the world at your feet.

So maybe it is time to take a big breath and think on this. For a long term relationship you should ask yourself this question "Do I want this woman to be the mother of my children?"... if that question is not even for consideration then I would say keep on dating and keep on learning. Life is learning. If that question is a resounding YES... then think about what you need to achieve to look after a family... think truly longterm (the further out you can think the better off you will be in life)... and then think if you are on track and if you are and she is potentially a lifemate then chase her.

Just remember to pursue happiness over pleasure. I've seen it too many times, guys throwing away their career opportunities to chase a girl and then losing both sets of chances. It's about maintaining a life balance. A positive relationship is where two people date and they end up achieving more together. If that is where it is going, even if it is just a short term relationship, then see if you can convince her to stay with you.

If not, then channel that energy into the gym and studies.

[Beirut]

Happens to all of us. Not much solace, but you will survive.

Yep.

There is no cure, nor is there hope for a cure. You're just going to have to bite down and deal with it, 'cause no matter what you do it's going to happen several more times. Welcome to manhood.

Find a buddy, have a beer and a sandwich, and at least take solace in the knowledge that not a man who walks the earth escapes this particular beating.

[El Diablo]

That is such a shame SFTS.

But as Beruit noted you will be very lucky man if this only happens to you once in your life.

Pick yourself up, dust of your shoulders, stand tall and proud (it is not like you have done anything wrong) and have a good hard think about it. If you want her back then tell her and tell her why.

If she still is not interested at least you tried. It takes two to make a relationship work and if she is not in it 100% then you would only get hurt further down the line.

Such is life.

[CrossLOPER]

EDIT: That does not look quite as helpful as it sounded in my mind. Never mind.

[Lemur]

I'm sorry for your loss, Strike. Breaking up when you're young sucks extra hard. Not sure why, but it does.

[El Diablo]

Hah Lemur thats cause us older guys are used to it.

Not to say it dont hurt SFTS but - yeah it happens.

Just be thnkful that at your age she doesn't take half the house....

[seireikhaan]

Bummer, man. I guess that I'm gonna end up echoing others in that there's not much to be done, happens to us all, and it hit you especially hard. I can't claim to understand what her reasonings were, as the workings of female minds are one of the things I fear I will never completely comprehend. Just gotta stand tall, like the true Texan you are, and roll with the punches life brings.

[KukriKhan]

Hah Lemur thats cause us older guys are used to it.

Not to say it dont hurt SFTS but - yeah it happens.

Just be thnkful that at your age she doesn't take half the house....

Yeah. At least you've still got your truck, your job, your self-respect, and a slightly mangled, but still workable heart - and hey(!) on the 'up' side: one less christmas present to buy.

Still... teh sux, man. Sorry.

[Strike For The South]

Yeah. At least you've still got your truck, your job, your self-respect, and a slightly mangled, but still workable heart - and hey(!) on the 'up' side: one less christmas present to buy.

Still... teh sux, man. Sorry.

I'd trade all those

[IrishArmenian]

Wow, that is a wretched feeling. No one likes being there.

[Rodion Romanovich]

The sad truth is that: the chances of getting a lasting relationship are inversely proportional to how much the partner means to you

Whenever you think a woman means really much to you, turn around as soon as possible. The later you turn around, the more painful and lengthy the rehabiliation, but you will eventually get over it. You've only got less than 6 months with her, so it will probably take less than 3 months to get over her. To facilitate getting over her faster, you may consider going through all logistical changes it means to your life, and solve any problems that may occur. Love in modern society is in fact 99% logistics anyway, no matter how much we like to deny it.

[Husar]

I'm very sorry for you SFTS, I can only wish you all the best for the future.
She may come back, you may find another one, hard to tell but I hope you'll be happy either way.

For a long term relationship you should ask yourself this question "Do I want this woman to be the mother of my children?"

That's what I always ask myself before attempting a relationship.

[Odin]

Tough break man, but you know what the "nod" didnt seem all that convincing to me. Be open to a reconcilliation if you like the girl, just dont count on it.

[macsen rufus]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Papewaio
For a long term relationship you should ask yourself this question "Do I want this woman to be the mother of my children?"

Personally I ask "Will I still feel this way when either of us needs bed-baths, a Zimmer frame, and nursing care?"

Gah, I'm single again, it's a hard choice sometimes....

Tough times, STFS, and it sure hurts. Just hope one day you'll find that rare one who has you looking back on this and wondering why it seemed to matter. Hard as it may seem, there are things that hurt more though, and you'll probably meet most of 'em before your days are out. I know it's not much consolation, but remember that to lose it, you have to have it first, and you did, for however short a while.

For now, wish I could e-mail you a shot or two of bourbon At least claim your free evening of forgivable drunkenness if you have a good buddy in town

[Fragony]

Sounds completily fixable to me.

'She looked at me and looked away and said she didnt think she had been a good enough girlfriend and she thought she was holding me back.'

-->translation: call me first then your mother. She is playing you like a violin, you are heartbroken that helps, hold that thought.

[Geoffrey S]

It's never nice, but think of one thing: the worse it feels at the moment shows just how good a times you had. Remember those, and not the break-up.

[Vladimir]

Where's Banquo? We need Shakespeare quotes.

Not a good enough girlfriend? Holding you back? Either she has some real self-esteem issues (lots of sex can be a symptom) or it was a short term fling. Enjoy the pain while it lasts. If you're not in pain or cold, you're probably dead. Chicks dig scars, especially the ones that run deep.

[Fragony]

You guys really don't understand women, no wonder most of you are married. Nothing is lost Strike, quite the contrary, you completily misinterpeted what just happened. She wants things to be more serious and wants some devotion from your part, that is what she said, 'holding you back', they are masters of reverse psycholigy alright.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Necessary for your development. Hang out with some friends (male ones) and move on. Nothing that anyone can say will do much. Perfect girls have very little drama. Fuming through writing or talking with friends helped me when I was young and felt things.

[Vladimir]

If I have a son and he asks me what women want, I'll tell him that question lies on the assumption that they know what they want. Sometimes it's "good enough" FTW!

[Adrian II]

At your age you'll always have tomorrow. I have a lot of yesterdays.

But yeah, it stinks.

[El Diablo]

You guys really don't understand women, no wonder most of you are married.

by Fraggony



That is the best quote of the day. Classic!!!

[Tribesman]

Why does Strikes OP remind me of this song ?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c

[Lemur]

Why does Strikes OP remind me of this song ?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c

I was thinking more of this. But then I couldn't stop laughing.

[Adrian II]

You guys really don't understand women, no wonder most of you are married. Nothing is lost Strike, quite the contrary, you completily misinterpeted what just happened. She wants things to be more serious and wants some devotion from your part, that is what she said, 'holding you back', they are masters of reverse psycholigy alright.

Jesus Fragony, you're starting to sound like Dr Phil.

And yeah, most of us are married. Given the choice between that and being chained naked to a radiator in my basement, my woman was all for it. I keep the chains around though.

[Fragony]

Jesus Fragony, you're starting to sound like Dr Phil.

And yeah, most of us are married. Given the choice between that and being chained naked to a radiator in my basement, my woman was all for it. I keep the chains around though.

You are lucky my radiator is a total b*tch, girl that came with it is ok though.

[Papewaio]

You guys really don't understand women, no wonder most of you are married.

ROFL

Yes, Dear. It's my fault Dear. Yes, I'll be off the computer soon...