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Thread: The 9 most badass Bible verses

  1. #1
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Default The 9 most badass Bible verses

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    this is just a joke....and reading it I can´t really see why anyone might be offended by it..

    but since I realize some eventually will here it is in the backroom.
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 11-29-2007 at 15:23.
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    Filthy Rich Member Odin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin

    this is just a joke....and reading it I can´t really see why anyone might be offended by it..

    but since I realize some eventually will here it is in the backroom.
    The depictions seem funny enough, interesting read.
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 11-29-2007 at 15:23.
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    Part-Time Polemic Senior Member ICantSpellDawg's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    That's funny.
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    Second-hand chariot salesman Senior Member macsen rufus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    The "... or Bears will eat you" poster is so going beside my CCTV cameras and security-lights....
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 11-29-2007 at 15:21.
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    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

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    His higness, the Sultan Member Randarkmaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    They should definately make an action movie about Samson and make him be like Rambo. It would only be too funny!
    I mean killing 1000 Phillistines using a donkey's jawbone? ROCK ON!!! AAAAAAAAGGGH!!!
    Last edited by Randarkmaan; 11-29-2007 at 15:57.
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    Second-hand chariot salesman Senior Member macsen rufus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Sorry, Kukri - my bad - didn't think due to my intense amusement. Humble grovels
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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

    Or as Sam Jackson put it ...

    Ezekiel 25:17
    Last edited by Lemur; 12-01-2007 at 05:34. Reason: Found a version that didn't have the bad word.

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    RIP Tosa, my trolling end now Senior Member Devastatin Dave's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

    Or as Sam Jackson put it ... (warning, contains one typewritten swear word)

    I like Ezekiel 25:16
    "Yo, Flock of Seagulls, keep chillin'"
    Now thats a verse I can live by.
    RIP Tosa

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    Filthy Rich Member Odin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

    Or as Sam Jackson put it ... (warning, contains one typewritten swear word)

    Pulp Fiction what a great movie....
    There are few things more annoying than some idiot who has never done anything trying to say definitively how something should be done.

    Sua Sponte

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    boy of DESTINY Senior Member Big_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    "at the end of the day, you have to worship the god who can set you on fire"

    so true.
    now i'm here, and history is vindicated.

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    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Most badass verses of the Bible is a quite easy choice:
    - Genesis 6:7 "And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them."
    - Genesis 6:17 "And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die."
    Under construction...

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    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Loved the part with Sampson.

    "Or perhaps 'donkey jawbone' was simply mistranslated from the original hebrew word for 'minigun'.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

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    Guest Boyar Son's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    LOL

    especialy when Moses went splinter cell on that egyptian!

  15. #15
    The Blade Member JimBob's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    I think Job 38:3 and 1 Kings 18:46 should get honorable mentions here


    "Now gird up your loins like a man,"

    and

    "Then the hand of the LORD was on Elijah, and he girded up his loins and outran Ahab to Jezreel."

    Lots of Loin girding back in the day
    Sometimes I slumber on a bed of roses
    Sometimes I crash in the weeds
    One day a bowl full of cherries
    One night I'm suckin' on lemons and spittin' out the seeds
    -Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, Lemons

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    Senior Member Senior Member English assassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?
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    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by English assassin
    That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?
    I thought that, so I 'wikied' it and gird is a town in India. So that's all cleared up then.
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    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by English assassin
    That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?
    I normally use a sage and onion stuffing, sprinkle salt on the crackling and cook in the oven for a couple of hours at gas mark 5.
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    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    I normally use a sage and onion stuffing, sprinkle salt on the crackling and cook in the oven for a couple of hours at gas mark 5.
    You do this while your loins are still attached to your gird????

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    Philologist Senior Member ajaxfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Great, now there's spittle all over my monitor. Gonna have to learn some more self-discipline if I'm gonna be exposed to humor of such Biblical magnitude.

    Ajax

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    Member Member Azi Tohak's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 9 most badass Bible verses

    Thanks! That might be the funniest thing I have ever read. I love the Samson one.

    Azi
    "If you don't want to work, become a reporter. That awful power, the public opinion of the nation, was created by a horde of self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditch digging and shoemaking and fetched up journalism on their way to the poorhouse."
    Mark Twain 1881

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