Council of Britain and Ireland

[Privateerkev]

King Alexander has just been sitting at the Scottish table with his fingers on his temple. It is clear that just witnessing the proceedings is giving him a headache.

Can someone tell me what the bloody hell is going on!?!

Who is warring with who? Who exterminated who's city? Who is sailing towards who?

Does anyone know? I just got a report from one of my diplomats that Ulster isn't even owned by anyone! Are the English even in Ireland? Is anyone anywhere? Are we anywhere at all? Are we... we!?!

Arrrrgggg!!!

This spat is driving me mad!

Do the Welsh even know what it is that they are actually saying!?!

Let me try to piece this out...

1.) King Henry offered Cardiff to the Welsh in exchange for peace.

2.) King Llewelyn besieged Cardiff instead and threatened Henry. He said he would exterminate Cardiff unless Henry gave him Cardiff.

3.) Henry re-agreed to give Cardiff if Llewelyn un-sieged Cardiff and let Henry's men out. Then Henry saw that the Welsh had taken a fort on English soil. Removal of Welsh troops from that fort became part of the deal.

4.) Llewelyn then says none of this is good enough. Now, English troops are not allowed to be on English soil.

5.) In the meantime, did the Welsh actually ever un-siege Cardiff? Did Henry ever get the chance to pull his men out of the city?

6.) Then there was talk that may be loosley interpretted as describing the extermination of Cardiff. Did that mean the Welsh took the city? When they did, did they exterminate it?

7.) Now there is talk that the Welsh did not exterminate the city.

8.) Now there is talk from the Welsh that the English are here, there, and everywhere.

9.) Now the English have declared war on Wales... BUT THEY WERE ALREADY AT WAR WITH WALES!!!! The Irish too if I might add.

So, looking at these 9 points, I can only conclude that NO ONE KNOWS JUST WHAT THE !@#$% IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!

This is simple. Can someone just answer me some simple questions?

Is Cardiff English right now. yes or no?

Is Cardiff under siege right now. yes or no?

If Cardiff is Welsh, was it exterminated. yes or no?

Is King Alexander going bat!@#$ just listening to this diplo-mumbo-jumbo?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes he !@#$ing is!

I can see why no other King bothers to !@#$ing come here!

Because they want to keep their God-!@#$ sanity!

Someone write down the answers to those !@#$ing questions and send them to me. I'm going back to Perth where the world makes a lick of sense. I've waited personally for King Haakon's response long enough. If he wants to get word to me, he can write me a God-!@#$ !@#$ing letter!

King Alexander walks out. His diplomats at the Scottish table just look wide-eyed in surprise.