Hooooray! Ha ha ha ha Hoooray! Hooray! Ha ha ha haaa! Hooraaaaaay!! ........
I've got it!
I've got it and I've never known a strategy game 'til now!
Allow me to recount my experiences so far:
Whilst waiting for XL 3.0 to download, I played a short campaign as the Polish kingdom from Early.
I found that, due to the influence of religion and the Papal authority, alliances were so much stronger and worthy in Eastern Europe.
I created a very powerful alliance by wedding a daughter of the family the Emperor of the Germans, I did the same with the Danish, and once I felt marginally secure within Poland and Silesia, I attacked Prussia.
To shorten this part, I found the North heavily fortified, and decided to expand east into Volhynia and Kiev, and then South into Moldavia - before suddenly cutting into the heart of the Hungarian kingdom - Carpathia.
But then XL arrived, and the Poles were abandoned.
I started an early Irish campaign, thinking I'd ally with Scotland and divide Britain between myself and King Malcolm III.
Ha!
I developed my Ireland, sent out a few emissaries to Britain and the continent, accepted all alliances, and repeatedly attempted to assassinate King William II.
The beleaguered conquering bastard must of been rather confused, as he had two different men each year try to sneak in his bedroom window as someone played a violin!
Continuing - reading this forum and hearing that it is possible with a strong navy for Byzantium to land an army or ten in Ireland within a single turn - I became rather paranoid.
I dominated the North and Irish Seas, and when my men were ready teddies, I invaded Wales.
With a little green moss now spawning on the toe of Britain, I decided that it could be easily wiped off if I took my alliance with the golden lion for granted.
So I thought it best to pick on someone my own size - but who was in my position?
Someone desperate for control of Britain but shamefully afraid of the English possessions?
I declared war on King Malcolm the Third and invaded Scotland from the West.
Ten companies of Irish Horse, four companies of Urban Militia and two of Archers invaded, led by Prince Casimir.
We fought against the entire Scottish royal family, consisting of six, three companies of clansmen and one of Urban Militia.
Although I charged them, whilst disorganised, from atop a large scottish mountain after carpeting them with javelins - all my men were routed - and Casimir killed!!
Two Scottish princes perished however, and half their entire Kingdom's garrison was beaten.
So I levied an army of Gallowglasses and, (Feirn Eirann?), four companies each, with two Royal cavalry companies and had them led by Prince Diarmaid II.
It was fortunate my army was large, as an English garrison of 600 came from Northumbria to, 'assist' me.
We fought on the most mountainous territory I've seen in these games yet, and those Scots kept climbing higher and faster.
The English garrison ran into a large, obvious trap in a valley below Malcom III, and when I was sure the English and Scots had battered each other readily enough, I ordered the Gallowglasses down - and they carried the day.
I will hurry through this more - and perhaps add greater detail in a proper report later.
With Scotland mine, and induced by paranoia to keep large garrisons and large fleets all around the British Isles, I found myself unable to either create a new army to wait in the fields, nor could I find a province suitable to attack anyway.
Then, France and England went to war!
William the Conqueror sent an Emissary who questioned my alliance to the English - no doubt expecting that I was too petrified on the Emerald Isle to betray a plan for war - well, I told him King Philippe II was a friend dearer.
Then I hurriedly attempted to create an army between the three provinces I owned capable of opposing the garrison of Murcia.
Four turns it would take!
Four turns, and I would win the war for the French King Philippe II!
In two turns, William the Conqueror had left Wessex and reduced the French holdings to three inland provinces, by three, King Enrique II had possessed himself of all but one - and at four, my army led by Ard-Ri Diarmaid I stood assembled on the Welsh border, and the war was over.
Thats what Rome: Total War did to my preparational skills!
So I developed my provinces fast enough that my new army would not throw me in deficit, and waited for war.
The Danish Kingdom held land from Norway to Brandenburg, Saxony to Finland, and was equal to the English, whom they bordered.
The Castilian Kingdom had conquered the Portugese, pushed the Aragonese into Genoa, and besieged the Khalifate of the Almoravids in Corduba.
I knew there had to be a momentary tension, and then a great war in Western Europe!
And so it happened, the Danish King went to war as King William II died, and his son William III was left with a massive conflict in the East.
Haaaarh har haaaaa!
The Emerald troops were going to war!
Britain was ours!
But before we attacked, it was best we waited for the catapault being sent from Ireland to Wales - so we could ravage Murcia!
Just one turn, and it'd arrive in Wales, two turns, we'd besiege Murcia!
In the very first turn, Flanders, Ile De France, Brittany, and Champagne were so overrun by Danish troops that all English garrisons fled immediately into the many Keeps.
And a huge Danish force consisting of 1800 men landed in Northumbria.
I was jumping up and down, and as I pressed End Turn I prayed - prayed and begged!
On the second turn, Murcia was besieged by another new Danish force, which was approximately 1200 in strength - and the two provinces were officially Danish.
My sulky King, fists shoved into his cheeks, instead ordered his 890 men into Wessex, garrisoned by only 70 men!
Also on the second turn, the Opportunistic Castilian-Leonese took five English provinces, completely destroying all traces of the English Kingdom.
In two years.
God... damn it I hated those Danish pricks - they were now my only choice for military expansion, and the only Kingship in the North who had a greater navy than I!
Their King was now almost as powerful as the Byzantine Emperor!
I suddenly preferred English overlords, and yearned for the red uniforms of yesteryear.
But Europe was split perfectly, (Year 1153), between the Danes and the Spanish, southern factions aside.
The Polish expanded North towards the Danes, and bordered them on four fronts.
There had to be a war.
So I created an army that was perfect, ready to invade within minutes, led by the new Ard-Ri Diarmaid II, and placed it in Scotland.
Wessex paid for large garrisons in every province, and further development paid for concentration of the navy, (Time-consuming that!)
But fifteen years of peace passed...
The King died..
Castilian and Leonese peoples played chess and drank Danish brew whilst watching Bullfights and painting little red firetrucking castles on Polish wood.
But no damned war broke out!
And every three years the Danes placed another half stack each in Northumbria and Murcia.
4700 men garrisoned Murcia!
Finally I simply hoped the piety of all my generals would be support enough, moved my great army to Wessex, as the path from there to Murcia is levelest, and engaged.
Two full stacks came from Flanders immediately to support the garrison that already outnumbered me 4:1.
Then I found out I was assaulting a bridge.
I was also facing well armoured and upgraded troops.
And they kept coming, that accursed White and Red flag was always multiplying itself just beyond the skyline.
Oh, I lost the battle for Murcia.
And the Battle for Wessex, and Wales, and Scotland - as well as the aptly named Slaughter of Ireland.
But up until then - I was doing alright!
I may tell you about my recently concluded Spanish campaign also, I was too careless with how I treated my allies.
The computer was more diplomatic than me.
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