Re: Out of character thread XVIII
As an early Christmas present for you all, I give you a sneak preview of the December 2007 Gahzette summary of KOTR. Enjoy.
Twas the Year 1340
Twas the year 1340, when all through the Diet
Not an Elector was stirring, the chamber was quiet.
The legislation was written on parchment with care,
Their proposers hoping for passage with prayer.
The people of Bruges were holding the walls,
But there were no relief armies to answer their calls.
And Matthias in his Crown, and Crusader Salzgitter,
Remained on the defensive, for which they were bitter.
When out in the Tavern there arose such a clatter,
The Electors all gathered to see what was the matter.
Accusations and letters flew like a flash,
All drawn forth from Duke Steffen’s cache.
The Byzantines held their line on the Po,
While Kaiser and Duke agreed quid pro quo.
When, what to the Reich’s surprise should appear,
But Arnold, the Duke, drinking a beer.
With a berserker named Grom and a Knight of the Dread,
The chivalrous knew with care they must tread.
Only Fritz of Castile, the Franconian, dared,
To challenge for Chancellor, the rest were too scared.
“Now Lothar! Now Athalwolf! Now Elberhard and Peter!
On, Ludwig! On, Karl! On Tancred and Dieter!
In defense of the Reich! Come down from your walls!
Let’s push back our foes! Supremacy calls!”
As Danes threatened Hamburg, the city, with siege,
Far away, in Palermo, was stranded its liege.
So, north, did Fritz and Peter agree
That their forces should march, immediately.
And yet, from the east, the Franconians knew,
The Poles would assault at Magdeburg too.
As the Swabians recovered from rebellion internal,
Marched the French armies, their numbers infernal.
Ehrhart was dressed in mail head to toe,
But his army was lost, they were food for the crow.
Few but the Kaiser had regiments to spare,
Imperials, it seemed, liked a man who could swear.
His spit was like venom, his acts without shame,
Yet by some act of God, ‘twas Champion his name.
To an English princess, married was he,
Though most believed her to be a banshee.
Of chivalry, command, and piety he had much,
But a lack of authority, for him was a crutch.
He prayed every night, but deep faith and piety,
Would not be enough against a Secret Society.
Back in the Diet, the Electors began casting their votes,
For he who they believed spewed forth the best quotes.
As the results trickled in, it became clear to old Fritz,
That fifty percent was a mark he would miss.
A speech of concession he gave soon enough,
Giving Arnold twenty years in a job that was tough.
Due to changes galore that the players had made,
To the rules of the game of KOTR they played.
And throughout it all, there was one man who,
Was happier than any that he had nothing to do.
TinCow did exclaim, as the Cataclysm ended,
“Better your wife than mine who ends up offended!”
Originally Posted by TinCow
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