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Thread: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

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  1. #1
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/...ris_lawsuit_dc

    NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.
    Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.

    The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

    It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

    "Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

    Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

    "Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.

    The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

    Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

    A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.
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  2. #2
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Wow.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Carlos, I chuckled.
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  4. #4
    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    WHAT? Those were lies!?
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  5. #5
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    Don't panic. Don't panic. DON'T PANIC!!! RAAAAAAA!!!


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  6. #6
    Member Member Tratorix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless?

  7. #7
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brave_Sir_Robin
    You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless?
    Not if you sell them to someone else who hasn't heard the news.
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  8. #8
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott

  9. #9
    Guest Boyar Son's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quick, I need chuck norris tears and FAST

  10. #10
    Voluntary Suspension Voluntary Suspension Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth.
    Those are the sort of quotes he doesn't like, his response would likely be "No, God is the truth."

    Which is similar to his response to the tears-and-cancer one, he directed people to the blood of Jesus.

    Anyway, it's one thing to bat this stuff around the internet but publishing a book does seem libel to draw a law suit.
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