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Thread: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

  1. #1
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/...ris_lawsuit_dc

    NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.
    Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.

    The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

    It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

    "Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

    Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

    "Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.

    The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

    Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

    A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.
    Someone! Someone! Alert the medical world! We thought we had that cure, but now I am not so sure.
    Rest in Peace TosaInu, the Org will be your legacy
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  2. #2
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Wow.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Carlos, I chuckled.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  4. #4
    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    "Nietzsche is dead" - God

    "I agree, although I support China I support anyone discovering things for Science and humanity." - lenin96

    Re: Pursuit of happiness
    Have you just been dumped?

    I ask because it's usually something like that which causes outbursts like this, needless to say I dissagree completely.

  5. #5
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    Don't panic. Don't panic. DON'T PANIC!!! RAAAAAAA!!!


    Reinvent the British and you get a global finance center, edible food and better service. Reinvent the French and you may just get more Germans.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
    How do you motivate your employees? Waterboarding, of course.
    Ik hou van ferme grieten en dikke pinten
    Down with dried flowers!
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  6. #6
    Member Member Tratorix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless?

  7. #7
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brave_Sir_Robin
    You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless?
    Not if you sell them to someone else who hasn't heard the news.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  8. #8
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
    WHAT? Those were lies!?
    Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott

  9. #9
    Guest Boyar Son's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quick, I need chuck norris tears and FAST

  10. #10
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Boyar Son
    Quick, I need chuck norris tears and FAST
    I can tell you you won't find them in the shed.

    Boyar, seek ye the ziggurat built in honour of Chuck - also known as the Tiers of Chuck Norris.
    This space intentionally left blank

  11. #11
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    And to think we used to keep all of these puns to ourselves in the Backroom ...

  12. #12
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    And to think we used to keep all of these puns to ourselves in the Backroom ...
    I'm serving my punance here in the Frontroom during the Org Truce of the Backroom.
    This space intentionally left blank

  13. #13
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris swims though land.

    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  14. #14
    Could be your God Member Abokasee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    On reading the article, only the stupid would be mislead to believe they were true
    Now with transparent layers!

    Lost on the Internet? Go back to start.

  15. #15
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    I thought the same thing until I read this part of the article:

    Quote Originally Posted by article
    "Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.
    This goes contrary to Chuck's good guy image.

    Another case of life imitating "art"? Chuck's Mt Dew commercial
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  16. #16
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi
    I'm serving my punance here in the Frontroom during the Org Truce of the Backroom.
    Ah, is that why the backroom disappeared for me? Was rather curious about that, an announcement in advance would've been nice. For a little while, I thought I'd been banned from it or something.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  17. #17
    Voluntary Suspension Voluntary Suspension Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth.
    Those are the sort of quotes he doesn't like, his response would likely be "No, God is the truth."

    Which is similar to his response to the tears-and-cancer one, he directed people to the blood of Jesus.

    Anyway, it's one thing to bat this stuff around the internet but publishing a book does seem libel to draw a law suit.
    "If it wears trousers generally I don't pay attention."

    [IMG]https://img197.imageshack.us/img197/4917/logoromans23pd.jpg[/IMG]

  18. #18
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Quote Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla
    ...but publishing a book does seem libel to draw a law suit.
    Yep, it was bound to happen.

    BTW, good one Philip.
    This space intentionally left blank

  19. #19
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    Oh God! The Backroom puns have invaded our homes!!!

    But nice one guys - especially Philip
    Rest in Peace TosaInu, the Org will be your legacy
    Quote Originally Posted by Leon Blum - For All Mankind
    Nothing established by violence and maintained by force, nothing that degrades humanity and is based on contempt for human personality, can endure.

  20. #20
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!

    More lies!

    When chuck norris roundhouse kicks you, you instantly die. But if the roundhouse kick happens to miss, the wind following the roundhouse kick will rip out your pancreas.
    His kick would never miss! He merely finds it entertaining when your internal organs fly from your body.


    Reinvent the British and you get a global finance center, edible food and better service. Reinvent the French and you may just get more Germans.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
    How do you motivate your employees? Waterboarding, of course.
    Ik hou van ferme grieten en dikke pinten
    Down with dried flowers!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



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