In any CA game it's pretty much impossible to use diplomacy to play other factions against each other, especially in higher difficulties. My usual Sabean strategy is to use the faction heir and the starting units to take the three towns around you, it's just about possible to do without having to recruit any other units. Then I spend a while building up an economy, mines are very important. You can usually get an alliance with the Ptolies, even get them to pay you for it, but it doesn't stop the inevitable. You do get a lot more time than in 0.8x though.
In terms of battles against the AS and Ptolemies you need to get behind their Phalanx and pelt them with everything you have, a frontal assault is suicide in my experience. Red Sea Infantry and Archer Spearmen used correctly are some of the best value units in the game in my opinion.
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