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Thread: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

  1. #1
    Swarthylicious Member Spino's Avatar
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    Default Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    The man is an egomaniacal nutjob! But, you already knew that...

    http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3383

    Gotta love the background music. Taken from a certain popular 80s flick that launched a young, relatively unknown actor into stardom...







    Note: Given the controversial nature of Scientology I'm not sure whether this thread belongs in the Frontroom or Backroom. Given the comedic nature of this clip showing Maverick in all his wackiness I felt the Frontroom was the best place for it.
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    He spends an awfull lot of time saying nothing, doesn't he? I am reminded of Dennis Hoppers character in 'Apoclypse Now'.

    The only thing I really notice here, is the thought that they consider themselves as the only ones who can save the world, and they feel a responsibility to do so. Such ideas usually turns out to be disastrous. But if the general rethorical level among scientologists is reflected by mr. Cruise here, they will probably never get around to it.

  3. #3
    Tree Killer Senior Member Beirut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Backroom.
    Unto each good man a good dog

  4. #4
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    The scary thing here is that it seems like he really believes this stuff. Either that, or he is a much better actor than I thought.



    Edit-> forgot to add, HAIL XENU!
    Last edited by drone; 01-15-2008 at 21:14.
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  5. #5
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Man, Tom Cruise has all kinds of superpowers. I had no idea! Did you know that if he drives by an accident, he's the only one who can really help? Did you know that world leaders want him to advise them?

    I, for one, welcome our Top Gun overlords.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

  6. #6
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    His best role is in Magnolia, can I say it? RESPECT THE youknow. Great movie.

  7. #7
    Member Member Alexander the Pretty Good's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    /me whistles the Danger Zone song.

  8. #8
    The very model of a modern Moderator Xiahou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Wow... he really has the look of someone who's been completely brainwashed, doesn't he?

    On a side note, I was impressed to see that he's personally introduced over 1 billion people to LRH technology. He should probably get some kind of freedom medal of valor for that.
    Last edited by Xiahou; 01-15-2008 at 21:07.
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  9. #9
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Full episode of Tom Cruise Trapped in the Closet available here.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

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    Dux Nova Scotia Member lars573's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    Full episode of Tom Cruise Trapped in the Closet available here.
    Saw that when it was on TV (yes Canada broadcast it). Good episode, especially the part *THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS BELIEVE* flashing at the bottom of the screen.
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    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    I love how South Park will make fun of all religions. Yet when they made fun of Scientology the guy who voiced Chef suddenly got all hypocritical.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems...3/s1590966.htm

    Quote Originally Posted by ABC
    Soul music veteran Isaac Hayes, the voice of the libidinous character Chef on the satiric television cartoon South Park, says he is leaving the show, citing its "inappropriate ridicule" of religion.

    "There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs and others begins," Hayes said in a statement issued through his spokesman in New York.

    Hayes, 63, a follower of the Church of Scientology, did not mention a South Park episode that aired last fall poking fun at Scientology and some of its celebrity adherents, including actor Tom Cruise.

    Rather, the statement said the show's parody of religion is part of what Hayes sees as a "growing insensitivity toward personal spiritual beliefs" in the media generally, including the recent controversy over a Danish cartoon depiction of the Muslim Prophet Mohammed.
    It was fine for him right up to the point they made fun of his religion. He made fun of everyone else but when the joke was on him he whined like a little kid. It would have been fine if that was the very first episode that made fun of any religion, but the show had been doing that for years.
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  12. #12

    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    People like him just astound me.
    Going past a car crash he's the only one who can help. Not the ambulance people or police or anyone else.

    I want to know if he'd tell the police and ambulance crews already at car crashes to sod off because HE is the only one who can help. I doubt he's ever actually done ANYTHING at a car crash.

  13. #13
    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    I'd say everyone who drives by a car crash and has access to some phone somewhere can and is supposed to help.
    Of course Cruise doesn't need a phone.


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    Στωικισμός Member Bijo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    He uses his mental and physical superpowers. He needs no phone for he simply uses his brain to remotely connect to the nearest hospital. Or he just extinguishes the fire by manipulating the air around him, and shooting it at the fire, then removes the victim(s), holds them, then flies away like Superman towards the hospital, even flies quickly with them a couple hundred or thousand kilometres above the Earth to show off.... of course the victims would then surely be destroyed because they can't survive out there. But he's Tom Cruise: he can then just revive them with his superpowers to show off some more.
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    Backordered Member CrossLOPER's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    I agree with the guy who posted that playing dead would be the best option if Tom Cruise approaches an accident that you are involved in.

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    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    video got taken down..


    here´s another source

    http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise...ed-to-suppress
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  17. #17
    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    If they are the path to enlightenment why are they so afraid of the light?
    Our genes maybe in the basement but it does not stop us chosing our point of view from the top.
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  18. #18

    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    If they are the path to enlightenment why are they so afraid of the light?
    Because if you want to to see their path of enlightenment you have to pay ...and pay and pay

  19. #19
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    All I got out of Tom's ramblings is that he doesn't want us going to see his movies anymore. To paraphrase him, "you are either in the movie or outside the theater - no spectators."
    This space intentionally left blank

  20. #20
    Master Procrastinator Member TevashSzat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Quote Originally Posted by Papewaio
    I love how South Park will make fun of all religions. Yet when they made fun of Scientology the guy who voiced Chef suddenly got all hypocritical.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems...3/s1590966.htm



    It was fine for him right up to the point they made fun of his religion. He made fun of everyone else but when the joke was on him he whined like a little kid. It would have been fine if that was the very first episode that made fun of any religion, but the show had been doing that for years.
    IIRC, some Scientology church leaders may have pressured him into speaking out too
    "I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." - Issac Newton

  21. #21
    Swarthylicious Member Spino's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Geez Louise, more Tom Xenu wackiness!

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...icle697924.ece
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  22. #22
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    What a strange video clip. He doesn't say anything, but he says it with such conviction. "These are the times. This is the place. Are you ready?" What the heck is he talking about?

    Oh, and hail Xenu!

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

  23. #23

    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    This takes us to his ex.



    Did you know that Nicole is a Christian? Hmm.....
    Wooooo!!!

  24. #24

    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    I mean, of all the religions in the world, the Christians consider Scientology as the most blasphemous second to Satanism. At least Muslims and Christians believe in the same God. And Buddhists are accepting of most religions. I even saw a monk on tv who talked about his conversation with a priest on religion.
    Wooooo!!!

  25. #25
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Wait, should I have a blasphemy-o-meter to rate religions? I missed that in church.

    Scientology certainly seems like one of the fartherst out there religions, not least because it's relatively harmless yet strange beliefs (and let's face it, every religions makes claims which seem foolish to nonmembers, even if most don't include aliens) are attached to a science fiction writer's bizarre theories about psychology.

    Of course, then there's the whole having to buy your way up the ranks thing.

    I understand that in some countries in Europe it's officially considered a scam and denied tax exempt status?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaka_Khan
    I mean, of all the religions in the world, the Christians consider Scientology as the most blasphemous second to Satanism. At least Muslims and Christians believe in the same God. And Buddhists are accepting of most religions. I even saw a monk on tv who talked about his conversation with a priest on religion.
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    Member Member TB666's Avatar
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    Default Sv: Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Quote Originally Posted by Zim
    Scientology certainly seems like one of the fartherst out there religions, not least because it's relatively harmless yet strange beliefs (and let's face it, every religions makes claims which seem foolish to nonmembers, even if most don't include aliens) are attached to a science fiction writer's bizarre theories about psychology.
    That's the problem, it's not harmless.
    It's a vicious cult that not only tells their members to destroy anyone who goes against it(known as fair play), several of it's members have died because they didn't get treatment that they needed. Now if she didn't get treatment by her own accord then it's suicide but atleast one of the cases she wasn't allowed to since other scientologists simply locked her up.
    Make no mistake, these guys are far from harmless and if I were prime minister in Sweden I would remove their religion status faster then Paris Hilton loses her underwear during a party(yes I went there).

  27. #27
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sv: Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    That's the cary thing about them.

    What kind of treatment was it? I know they have some unhealthy ideas about psychology and medication for mental problems, but if they're actually forcibly preventing people from seeking health related treatment someone should be locked up, and not the girl who needed help!

    It make make you feel better (more likely worse, as it does me) but Sweden has a lot of company as far as nations that recognize it as a religion.

    I think Germany doesn't, and maybe not Australia. To be honest, I'm not sure. I'd have to ask a more knowledgable Org member.

    Quote Originally Posted by TB666
    That's the problem, it's not harmless.
    It's a vicious cult that not only tells their members to destroy anyone who goes against it(known as fair play), several of it's members have died because they didn't get treatment that they needed. Now if she didn't get treatment by her own accord then it's suicide but atleast one of the cases she wasn't allowed to since other scientologists simply locked her up.
    Make no mistake, these guys are far from harmless and if I were prime minister in Sweden I would remove their religion status faster then Paris Hilton loses her underwear during a party(yes I went there).
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  28. #28
    Member Member TB666's Avatar
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    Default Sv: Re: Sv: Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Quote Originally Posted by Zim
    That's the cary thing about them.

    What kind of treatment was it? I know they have some unhealthy ideas about psychology and medication for mental problems, but if they're actually forcibly preventing people from seeking health related treatment someone should be locked up, and not the girl who needed help!

    It make make you feel better (more likely worse, as it does me) but Sweden has a lot of company as far as nations that recognize it as a religion.

    I think Germany doesn't, and maybe not Australia. To be honest, I'm not sure. I'd have to ask a more knowledgable Org member.
    Well here is one case
    http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/...833431861.html
    and here is a youtube video

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCGP-0545EU
    (Warning the video might not be work-safe nor something for children to see).

  29. #29
    Misanthropos Member I of the Storm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    That Time cover picture is scary. He reminds me of this main character from American Psycho 1 somehow...

    I'm glad (and a little bit proud also) that where I live Scientology is monitored by national security and constantly in danger of being banned. NB: Not for religious content, mind you (do they have any that deserves the name?). Simply because their structure and methods are quasi-totalitarian and violating the dignity of the individual. That last part alone would be sufficient for me personally to ban them, dissolve them, confiscate their money and give it to cancer or hiv research.

  30. #30
    zombologist Senior Member doc_bean's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tom Cruise on Scientology = Comedy Gold

    Quote Originally Posted by Zim
    I understand that in some countries in Europe it's officially considered a scam and denied tax exempt status?
    I believe they're even considered a cult here.
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