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Thread: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

  1. #1
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Default Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    People say the weirdest things.....

    especially fundamentalists...

    now...I don“t want to be inflammatory......so I will not comment on these "pearls of wisdom"...I will simply point out a few of my favorites....you people make up your minds.

    (I might ROFLMAO a couple of times...but that“s it)


    the list

    -----------------------------
    [on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

    Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

    The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

    It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
    -----------------------------
    There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

    -----------------------------
    [about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

    This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

    if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

    Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

    god tests every one of us [emphasis added]

    ------------------------

    Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

    --------------------------------

    One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

    -------------------------------

    I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

    "If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
    -Josh Homme
    "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
    - Calvin

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    Sovereign Oppressor Member TIE Fighter Shooter Champion, Turkey Shoot Champion, Juggler Champion Kralizec's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

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    Urwendur Ūrībźl Senior Member Mouzafphaerre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    .
    The Flat Earth Society
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    This one is an intended humour site though.

    .
    Ja mata Tosa Inu-sama, Hore Tore, Adrian II, Sigurd, Fragony

    Mouzafphaerre is known elsewhere as Urwendil/Urwendur/Kibilturg...
    .

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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Could be worse

    'Men that hit????????????'

    'About to get married and I am already bruised all over'

    http://forums.marokko.nl/showthread.php?t=52258

    State funded website btw, but yeah let's laugh at christians
    Last edited by Fragony; 01-15-2008 at 21:14.

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    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

    CR
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

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    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    People say the weirdest things.....

    especially fundamentalists...
    Nice ones! Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious... unless they somehow get hold of a gun or even worse: a position of political influence...
    Last edited by Rodion Romanovich; 01-15-2008 at 21:19.
    Under construction...

    "In countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia and Norway, there is no separation of church and state." - HoreTore

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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Muhammed loved only one 6 year old because he couldn't invent the number 666 at the time.

    You may laugh now.
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 01-17-2008 at 04:02.

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    Resident Northern Irishman Member ShadesPanther's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    I love obsession over the King James Bible.

    They think the origianl Hebrew version (if different from KJ) is wrong, not the other way round.

    -------------------------------------------------

    [on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

    Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

    The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

    It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.

    leyenda , KJB only [Comments (125)] [2007-Aug-06]

    --------------------------------

    [continuing his hard-on for the KJV]

    If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James --- your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.

    AV1611VET, Christian Forums [Comments (112)] [2006-Jul-20]

    -----------------------------------------

    The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.

    Donskey, King James Bible Only [Comments (82)] [2007-Jan-26]

    -----------------------------------------------




    I am a Christian btw and I do find they brilliant as it shows ignorant people.

    "A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mudwrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a stack of French porn."
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    Urwendur Ūrībźl Senior Member Mouzafphaerre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    Muhammed loved only one 6 year old because he couldn't invent the number 666 at the time.

    You may laugh now.
    .
    Now What is that?
    .
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 01-17-2008 at 04:02.
    Ja mata Tosa Inu-sama, Hore Tore, Adrian II, Sigurd, Fragony

    Mouzafphaerre is known elsewhere as Urwendil/Urwendur/Kibilturg...
    .

  10. #10
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    "Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

    Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.

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    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    "Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

    Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.
    Don't worry, nobody here thinks muslim fundamentalists are better than Christian fundamentalists. If what you keep saying here at the .org is true, maybe that is the case in the Netherlands, however, but not here from what I can see. As for your statement I'm glad it's so incomprehensible, otherwise it would probably violate quite a few forum rules
    Last edited by Rodion Romanovich; 01-15-2008 at 23:21.
    Under construction...

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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Now What is that?
    That is Fragony .
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 01-16-2008 at 15:42.

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    Prince of Maldonia Member Toby and Kiki Champion, Goo Slasher Champion, Frogger Champion woad&fangs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Christian Politicians
    Obsession with English

    I love that website.

    Edit: Tribesman
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    but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
    chicken's dominion maintained. ~Machiavelli

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    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!


    (And I'm not laughing at Christianity, only the idiots who we call fundamentalists)(also, that one's just sheer hilarity, regardless of who it came from)
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

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    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.


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    Backordered Member CrossLOPER's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Tribesman
    That is Fragony at his intellectual peak .
    lol

    I am loving this thread.
    Requesting suggestions for new sig.

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    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    I read the Atheist Majority one....

    Hmmmm.....

    Even better
    Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

    Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
    Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.
    Even worse.
    Last edited by Marshal Murat; 01-16-2008 at 02:37.
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    Have you just been dumped?

    I ask because it's usually something like that which causes outbursts like this, needless to say I dissagree completely.

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    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Idort
    I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie
    Quote Originally Posted by Idort #2
    I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.


    To be quite honest, most of this stuff is making me facepalm. But to be fair, the other side of the argument has it's fair share of morans and idorts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


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    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Wink Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Earl Grey makes me sleepy too.
    Our genes maybe in the basement but it does not stop us chosing our point of view from the top.
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    Urwendur Ūrībźl Senior Member Mouzafphaerre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    "Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

    Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.
    .
    It helps posting a little less obscure.
    .
    Ja mata Tosa Inu-sama, Hore Tore, Adrian II, Sigurd, Fragony

    Mouzafphaerre is known elsewhere as Urwendil/Urwendur/Kibilturg...
    .

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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

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    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    I can think of some forums where that would be too politically incorrect, but with the group here at the org I don't think it would be an issue. I've found that the people are are generally exceptional.

    Now, I wonder if there is such a list somewhere. Seeing as it's the internet, there has to be...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignoramus
    Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?
    Last edited by Zim; 01-16-2008 at 08:27.
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    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignoramus
    Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?
    I'd surely laugh if there were any good quotes in there. And if there was a sexual section in it, it's bound to, the "conservative meets hippie make love not war society" always cracks me up.

    And do note though, that these qoutes do not make fun of christians, as CR stated. It makes fun of idiots. Example:


    "There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."

    The fun here isn't that christianity provides a different explanation to where we come from, the fun is the completely closed mind of this individual. We don't laugh at him because he doesn't believe in evolution, we laugh at him because of his utter ignorance and complete lack of curiosity.

    Fragony's attempted rebuttal "joke" fails miserably; unlike these quotes, he attacks the religion/holy figures instead of believers showing their ignorance. Please try again
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  24. #24
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    It appears my googlefu is weak. I spent some time doing a few searches to see if there was such a list for Muslim Fundamentalists, and all I got were links full of lists for Christians.

    I'd start one myself but I have no desire to spend as much time going through forums filled with nutjobs as whoever did the Christian one.

    I suppose if you broadened it beyond forum quotes a good one would be when the Iranian president said there are no homosexuals in Iran.

    Then there are all those times a president or important figure of a country denies the holocaust. I never know whether to laugh or cry when that happens.

    Look into any large group and you'll find nuts who say stupid things. Laughing at them is about the only way to keep from weeping at the rampant stupidity in the world.
    Last edited by Zim; 01-16-2008 at 09:25.
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    Hǫršar Member Viking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
    Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

    CR
    Laughing at Tom Cruise is more correct?


    Quote Originally Posted by Ignoramus
    Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?
    In (most) western societies, Christians are abundant and they have power, whereas muslims have not. (in most) Muslims are also minorities; such a list wouldn't necessarily be too funny. Create the list and post it if you find it funny.
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  26. #26
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
    Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

    CR

    I made no affirmation as to the validity of these quotes....

    all I did was post them as I found them...


    now....if all the responses to this have been ->
    I propose that the fault here lies in the quotes and not on this thread.
    Last edited by Ronin; 01-16-2008 at 11:31.
    "If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
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    "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
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  27. #27
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignoramus
    Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?
    I posted the christian list because I came across that web page on another forum......

    for me go right ahead and post an Islamic equivalent....I“m sure I“ll be right next to you laughing my head off.
    "If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
    -Josh Homme
    "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
    - Calvin

  28. #28
    Second-hand chariot salesman Senior Member macsen rufus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Well, there are dumb sheep in every flock But some of those quotes are totally priceless

    What worries me is that people like this, with their slightly less than complete grasp of scientific principles seem to think that their faith can be used to determine what scientific education other people's children receive. Scary as well as funny....

    Anyway, nice find, Ronin
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    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    Hmm, I didn't read it at first, no time and suspicion of christian bashing but I have to say now they're quite hilarious even from a christian perspective.

    There are those who would defend the notion that earth is flat just because the evil atheists say it's round.


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    Clan Takiyama Senior Member R'as al Ghul's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

    This reminds me of...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jorge de Burgos
    Laughter is a devilish wind which deforms, uh, the lineaments of the face and makes men look like monkeys.
    Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith, because without fear of the Devil there is no more need of God.

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